how do you tell your mum that her 17 year old daughter is getting married in the next couple of months.?

Question

i am the 17 year old in question and no i'm not pregnant firstly i'm not afraid 2 tell her just weary of da questions she may ask about wat we plan 2 do afterwards. neways thanks 4 da advice i told my mum and shes happy 4 me :-). even though i haven't told her da date yet. i just came out wit it and made sure dat she knows its wat i want.

Answer 1

Take your intended to your mum and say 'Mum we've something to tell you - we are getting married in December (or whenever)'. What can she say ?????

Answer 2

Give her a few shots of something really strong wait til she is a bit woozy and then tell her and pray that she remembers it when she sobers up lol totally just kidding but anyways why is a 17 year old getting married anyways is she pregnant or something? I would personally try to talk her out of it if she isnt pregnant and let her know that although a wedding does cost alot a divorce costs even more. you dont want her to jump into something that you know she isnt ready for, i dont care how mature a 17 year old is she knows nothing about life and should just enjoy being a 17 year old girl and try dating this guy for a bit longer, and if she is pregnant and that is why she is getting married then tell the girl to tell her mother about what is going on you dont want her to find out from someone else. tell her to be honest and if she is mature enough to make a decision about getting married and maybe potentially being a mother then she should be mature enough to sit down with her own mother and be honest and let her know what is going on. I know if i told my mother i was getting married at 17 she would have personally made it her mission to insert her foot in my tush and let me know I wa making a horrible mistake.
even if she is pregnant marriage isnt always the answer to that type of thing let her live her life and if down the road her and the father wish to get married then let them do it but i know that if the father is interested in being in the childs life then if something were to happen where they did get a divorce then there could be a horrible custody battle which is never good for a child to go through

Answer 3

That's a difficult one. If you will be 18 by then it shouldnt be as hard as if you are still to be 17 when planning on getting married. I had to talk my mom into signing papers so i could get married when i was 17. You should expect her to get upset. Ask you why you want to get married at such a young age, have you thought about it, all the obvious questions connected with all the obvious anger and protest. There really isnt an easy way to tell her because most likely she'll think you're throwing your life away, you're too young. Have you actually sat back and thought about why? You may regret it a few years down the road. I know I did, we almost split about five times. Now, we're going strong and it's almost been 5 years. As hard as it may be, dont get angry back. Sit down and gather your thoughts before you tell her. Try to think of every question she may ask and prepare yourself to have an answer. Good Luck

Answer 4

Mother knows best. If you don't think she'll approve, ask yourself why. She probably has a point.

There is no reason you can't wait a little while. If you're meant to be together forever, you will be, regardless of when you tie the knot. Don't you want to get married when everyone around you will have as much faith in the idea as you do, and you can share your exciting news with people who will be thrilled for you, and not weary of the idea? It would ruin my wedding if people were going to be sitting there thinking "this is ridiculous, they're kids". Which, believe me, is what's going to happen.

Answer 5

I'm not sure if you are the 17 year old daughter. According to www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/marriage/ukmarriagelaws, under 18's must obtain their parent's or guardians written consent, otherwise it is a criminal offence, although the marriage will still be valid.
However, if you are going to be over 18 this would not apply.
Is this just a case that your mum thinks they are too young?, or she does not approve of the choice of partner?

If the 17 year old is grown up enough to make this decision, then they should be grown up enough to confront their mum. Personally, I would sit her down and just come out with it.

Answer 6

Does she know your partner? Does she like him? Does she think things are serious between you? Will the relationship itself be a shock to her or just that you are getting married? Did she get married young herself?

17 is very young to be getting married even if you have your family's support. So firstly I would think through why you are getting married and why it has to be now. If you still want to go ahead, then you must tell your Mum as soon as possible. She has a right to know and you will need her love & support in the years to come.

I would set aside a good amount of time - a whole evening or weekend afternoon - and 'book' it with her before hand. Phone her up and say "Mum, there is something I really need to talk to you about, can I come and see you on Saturday " etc. Don't tell her what it is about until you see her.

When you have got the small talk out of the way, sit down with her and say something like "Mum - you know how much I love you and I really appreciate the way that you have supported me through my time at school, etc, etc - I have some big news and I hope you will be as happy and excited about it as I am - you know I've been with Steve for a year now and we are really happy - well, now we are wanting to get married and I wanted you to be the first to know."

It is important that you seem happy and confident when you tell her (if you are not happy and confident, don't get married yet!!) not nervous and unhappy, and that you don't say hostile things as that will set the mood of your meeting.

Even if she is not as happy as you would like her to be, do not get angry or say hurtful things. Never say things like "you can't bear for me to be happy" or "I'm not a child" - you will always be her child - or tell her that you don't care what she thinks.

Show your maturity by remaining calm and positive; if she gets angry or upset, say something like "Darling Mum, the last thing in the world I want to do is hurt you. I'm very happy about Steve but it wouldn't be the same if you weren't by my side. I'm so proud of you and I want everyone to know that."

If your man can woo your Mum too - treating her with respect, helping her out, and treating you with respect too (if he does not treat you with respect, don't get marrried yet!!) - then that will help.

When you marry you promise that it is for life but Mum's really are for life, so don't fall out with yours!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Just find a time when she's calm...although that mood won't last long, and just tell her. If you can't face telling her, then write her a letter, but hand it to her yourself and stay in the house so she can talk (or vent) to you after reading it. Are you sure you want to get married so young? The rest of your life is an awful long time.

Good luck with it.

Answer 8

Tell your mum that she needs to talk to you about something very serious. make sure she is calm and relaxed make her a cuppa and sit her down whilst talking. explain the situation and respect her opinion on the matter. also explain to her why you think you are ready for this commitment and that you would respect her blessing and would be upset if she wasn't present or if she didn't accept the severity of the relationship. make sure that she knows that you respect her and that you want her opinion. also make sure that you listen carefully and don't argue about what she says but take it into account and accept it and consider if she has a point. hope this helps.

Answer 9

Maybe you can kind of ask around the subject to find out her initial attitude to it and then go from there.
Best thing is to prepare her in some way by saying that you need to tell her something important that that you would like her to listen you out first, because you are anxious about talking to her about it.

Answer 10

No 17 year old daughter of mine would be getting married if I could help it. First step, wait until she is at least 18, but i don't recommend anyone get married until at least 25.

Good Luck

Answer 11

Mum I have something to tell you. I'm getting married in the next couple of months. What are you going to wear?