Do you think that it is inappropriate for a boyfriend to bring up an ex-girlfriend sometimes?

Question

My boyfriend tries to have open communication with me and wants to feel free to discuss any and everything with me. I try to be understanding, but its difficult because know he was once "In Love" with her.

Answer 1

I feel it depends on what context he's bringing it up in. If you're talking about your sex life and suddenly he's like "oh my ex and I used to......" then I think I'd be wondering if he still wanted to be with her. On the other hand, if he's bringing it up in a way as if to say "she used to talk to me like I was stupid" or something along those lines, I think you could learn something from it. I think open communication is always key, but there's always that fine line of too much information.

Answer 2

Well seriously, you need to get over the fact that he actually had a life before you.

Unless he starts spewing about how great or pretty or whatever she was, you have no reason to thing there are any leftover feelings for her. He is merely sharing personal experiences with you. Yes, they were with an ex, but would you rather he just clam up and not share anything at all?

Answer 3

Sweetie, every one has been "in love" before. If you can't be open minded enough to accept his past, you've got a lot of hard work ahead of you in the communication area. You should appreciate that your man is even willing to openly communicate with you; that's a rarity these days. Get over it, he's had a girlfriend, so what... You're in his life now, that should be all that matters.

Answer 4

There is open communication and then there is poor taste. Open communication doesn't mean all topics are fair game. It is thoughtless of him to bring her up. Just tell him you don't want to talk about her. If he whines tell him how your ex-boyfriend used to make you squeel like a pig in bed. Then ask him why he can't be more like your ex-boyfriend in the sack. Hey, open communication right? That will shut him up. He shouldn't be talking about her. Period.

Answer 5

Tell him that you aren't comfortable talking about HER. be specific so he knows that he can still talk to you about everyhting just not her because __________ (whatever your reasons are)

if your jealous or feel like you might loose him to her then let him know. Being open is great but you also have to be HONEST.

I had the same prob;lem you did and this is what i did and he understood. (it's his EX for freaking sakes!!!! it's more than understandable if you don't really want to hear about her!!)

I hope that helped :)

Answer 6

Why? Is he a great guy? Then you should be thankful for her. I know it's hard to think that way, but remember that all of the people in his past, especially in relationships, helped to make him the guy he is today. Persistently talking about an ex, however, is another story.

Answer 7

Yes. I had an ex-husband that did that all the time. She could cook better than you, clean better than you, sex better than you, etc. When I left him I was the best thing he ever had. That is very hurtful and nobody needs to say things like that to you. It is just a way of making you feel bad for something he already feels bad about himself. remember, misery loves company.

Answer 8

He is insensitive. He should not speak of her unless absolutely necessary. Maybe in the far future it will be okay (a little). Tell him you don't want to hear about her and if he feels compelled to talk a lot about her maybe he's not over her. You should be the important one now, not her.

Answer 9

You gotta be open minded about this. Of course "the ex" is gonna come up in conversation the more comfortable and outspoken you get with one another. I wouldn't stress about it, unless every second sentence he utters involves "the ex"........

Answer 10

I think its inappropriate all the time. When I go into relationships I specifically specify that I never want to know anything about his past girlfriends - there is absolutely no benefit in me knowing anything about them.