How do I stop my 14-month-old from hitting?

Question

Lately my daughter has been raising her arm at me like she's going to hit me. It's usually when her father is carrying her and I come near. She's smacked me right in the face the other day. How do I stop this behavior? It also doesn't help that my husband laughs like it's so funny that our child hits! Ugh!

Answer 1

First talk to your husband and tell him that it is not funny for her to hit you AT ALL because she is going to get older and hit harder and maybe even hit him and that wont be so funny. But if you discipline her that is something yall both have to stay up on because you cant have one parent letting her do what she wants and the other one disciplining her so talk to your husband and voice your opinion to him so that yall can come to an agreement on what to do and let him know that that kind of behavior from your daughter is unacceptable

Answer 2

Men! Laughing at the action is not the thing to do. It will make her do it more to get the attention. Sometimes it is hard to discipline a 14 month old.

I would not ignore the behavior. She must understand that what she is doing is a BIG No No! When she does it, firmly hold the hand she used to do the hitting with and give it a gentle shake with a Firm No, No! Eye contact is essential. You want her to see your facial expression. This will let her know that you totally disapprove of her action. If she does it in front of both of you, then your husband should repeat the action. Your little darling needs to understand that Daddy does not approve.

If you guys are enjoying a favorite activity at the time of the hitting, stop it immediately. This will show her that the game she was enjoying, her currency, will be taken away if she hits. This will take practice and you will have to repeat it a few times before the hitting stops. Give your darling a hug and a kiss for me! :)

Answer 3

wow you got alot of answers. I would talk to your husband privately and discuss how the situation bothers you and her behavior is inappropriate and not acceptable. Talk to him about what if she hit some other adult or another child? It's best to stop behavior like that, aggressive behavior, as young as possible. Tell him when he holds her hold her hand so she can't reach or lash out. If she does happen to get it free and hit you or just smack air, both of you need to firmly say NO hitting, and grab her hand and hold it. She's a little young to try to explain why the behavior is bad but the NO is a start, you gotta get her to associate NO with meaning stop right now before she gets older. It's not funny when anyone hits, ask your hubby how he feels when someone hits him? It might not be hard because she is little yet but she could still poke your eye or something and cause problems.

Answer 4

I will Dido the two previouse answers first of your husband is sending her mixed messages with his laugher children of that age aim to please the parents and he is giving her a positive reaction for a negative behavior which is obvioulsey overriding your feeling. He really needs to think of the example he is settin and if she hits you and thinks it is funny while playing with other toddlers she may think this is an ok game, and them parents are not going to think it so funny either. First your husband needs to grouw up an aid in discipline and at 14 months she does understand feelings, and while your and when your husband is done laughing wich is rewardding her. What should be done is to say your childs name and say simply NO" hitting it is bad it hurts Mommyt" and make a sad face you do not want mommy to be hurt or get a boo boo" she understands hurt and Boo Boo's or whatever you call it when she gets hrt so she can relate it to the same thing. You are deff. right to get rid of negative behavior early on because as they get older it is not cute at all and not tolerrated in the rest of the communitity. I am sure she is a loving and obviousley a well loved child and she understands hurt. She just does not realize this is hurting if daddy is laughing.

Answer 5

Mom and Dad both have to agree to discipline together. 14 months is old enough to tell her NO! Nobody should laugh at aggressive behavior (no matter how cute Dad thinks it is). Biting and hitting are common at this age, but they need to be nipped in the bud. You say No! immediately and look stern. If it continues, you punish the child by letting your daughter see that this type of behavior will result in the opposite response. When she hits you, you remove her to her crib, or put her in her room and shut the door. Give her a 5 minute "time out." (5 minutes per year of age is good for time outs). Ignore her crying and fussing. When you go back to get her, you tell her "no more hitting!" Then you give her a hug and go on as if it hadn't happened.

Answer 6

when 14 month old hits keep in mind they practice what is seen. But there the areas of which truly is the underlying answer and this would be how you yes you respond this is attention getter learned and practiced as hey mom notices what i just did this is cool. The most important 1st step is the next time the infant hits you let him/her know owe show a hurt emotion that will make them aware this is a bad touch. then once you have the child's attention you let them know how u would rather be touched. also let dad not he isn't helping in support of positive and support of the child and the parent this could cause later issues of the child playing parents against each other. then when you see that the child is aware of their behavior overly encourage when they are showing good touching and add an extra reward.

Answer 7

Tell your husband that unless he wants your daughter growing up thinking hitting is a good thing he'd better stop laughing at her. Whilst it may be funny the first time it's not going to be when she's 18 & arrested for beating someone to a bloody pulp!

My 2yr old hits & it's so frustrating because she laughs when I tell her off, I have to really shout to make her see it's wrong which is when she says sorry but I don't want to have to shout at her to make her see. It's not me she's hitting, it's her brother & sister who are only 11months old.

I have been putting her on the naughty mat as we have no stairs so use the front door as the naughty area, she has to stay there (she usually wanders off) until I get her & then she apologises. She started to enjoy that too much as she thought it was a game so now everytime she hits I take one toy away, starting with her favourites & she gets it back when she can play nicely with her siblings!

Answer 8

How the child behaves is very depending on their parent's behavior and how you husband behaves like laughing wont help cause the kid will think that it is funny and by doing that he/she will get more attention from the adults.

Have you notice, when a child fall down and there is no adults or he/she knows no one is around, the wont cry... and IF... there were someone around, especially when we run over to hug him/her the louder they cry.

The kids now understand what is attention and by giving them too much unnecessary attention will be harm to them. Let your kid understand that it is wrong to do so....

You dont have to punich them, just make sure your husband dont laugh and show them a serious face and say NO. then slowly by weeks and months they will stop this behavior (well...at least you have some time untill they look for another naughty way to get your attention)

Answer 9

First talk to your husband and express your anger for he is not only telling his daughter it is OK to hit, that it is funny to hit BUT that it is Ok and funny to hit Mom and you will not stand for him giving this very wrong message to your daughter. When your daughter does this or even attempts to like raising her hand immediately very sharply say No-You Will Not Hit and put her in a very brief time out (it is effective to have a time out place or even a Naughty place that is in your vicinity-the importance is that she is being told No and then Ignored-ostracised in a way for indulging in unacceptable behaviour- being ignored is what will have a effect on her. Spanking her will not for some parents report their kids just laugh and do it again for eaven though the child is being told No-attention even though it is negative is still being given and this also can invite negative attention seeking behaviour patterns. I is also essential that when the child behaves well that the child be told and how pleased you are and eventually the child will behave in the manner that elicits praise, hugs from the parent(s). The key to change this or any other negative behaviour is Consistency-that the behaviour have a immediate No You Do Not Hit and a timeout following-if at a store or wherever-simply moving her to another area like a corner of the store naturally you'd be there and not leave her but the silence is then you ignoring her and at the end of the timeout have her say sorry...or what a 14 mos old can say to express being sorry. If by chance your husband doesn't take this serious then you must still do this-take her from his arms saying No-...! and put her in timeout and hopefully he will not disagree with you on this in front of her for in order for the lesson to be learned the same response must follow from everyone otherwise she'll be confused and rebel more against you for it'll be normal then for her to gravitate to the parent who lets her do as she wants. Its normal for children this age to hit ,bite even spit -all signs of rebellion-yes,already but thats where the responsibility of parenting comes in and children start learning acceptable and unacceptable by the reaction of the adults to the behaviour.Did a quick search by asking how to stop hitting in a 14 month old child and quite a few web sites popped up-Go to www.pampers.com and check out other sites and can also use the info to show to your husband and if you have a printer can print and make --Start your own Child Behaviour Book as problems,issues occur and can then refer back for a reference.

Answer 10

Hello - Glenn Kawesch here. I think the best way to stop "hitting" is to figure out a way to punish her each time. A quick tap on the butt will stop alot of stuff. Also, at 14 months she will probably out-grow this. - Glenn Kawesch

This is clipped from iVillage:
It is hard to stop a 17 month old from hitting. He is not old enough to understand time out yet. That usually won't happen until he is three years old.

The best thing to do if your child hits, is to immediately remove him from any situation he is in, while saying the words, "We don't hit." If he's in a sandbox, he comes out. If he's at the snack table in school, he is moved immediately.

Sometimes hitting behavior is connected to a child's frustration with being unable to express himself in words. As your son becomes more verbal, this behavior may very likely wane. Meanwhile, it's important to continue to give him the message that hitting is unacceptable. And, see if you can get him to tell you what is bothering him with whatever words he has. Eventually, he will get the idea that we talk about what is bothering us, rather than hit.
Glenn Kawesch

Answer 11

Hit back...
Just kidding! Someone had to say it.

She just doesn't understand that it hurts to hit people and it is hard to convey this to a child without the child experiencing it for themself, so we show how much it hurts us (like the respondent said about screaming, maybe crying a little) or some people feel that spanking shows how physical actions like hitting can hurt, but the message can be lost or confused with the example we are setting of responding with physical action.

She clearly sees this is a threatening action and your child should not see themselves in a position to be threatening you. You and your husband both need to sharply admonish her and certainly don't react with some form of being threatened by it. It's hard to say exactly what will work with each child, but this should point you in the right direction.