all stay at home parents?

Question

when i delievered i took a conscience descision that i will stay at home and look after my baby, and my husband will take care of the work front we are quite well off so there's never a problem on financial front so i wanted to stay back and look after my family as i felt she needs me more than anybody else or even more than my own wishes. nowadays people have started to make fun of me as i stay back and waste my time, i don't really care about what they say, i want to give my daughter the best and spend all the time with her as she's too precious so i always thought this is the best way of doing it, am i doing something wrong being with her all the time,my friend says my baby will become too dependent on me and i'm wasting my life etc etc. they also say if the parenst are always with the baby they are very bad in deciosion making ,is all this true? should i be not staying with her ,my baby's just 20 month old i would hate to leave her in a day care. am i doing something wrong guys

Answer 1

You are doing a great job! Don't listen to people like that. They are jealous. I am also a SAHM. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Of course we have our good days and our bad ones but, when I look into my son's eyes and see that big ol smile, it makes me know that I am doing the right thing.

Answer 2

You are doing the MOST important job in the entire world! Since you and your husband have planned to do this, I commend you. It is a lot of hard work, and that's maybe why you get down sometimes if people say something. I am a stay at home mom, too, and I found that people got jealous, or they really didn't understand what it took to be a stay at home mom.
Don't listen to stories from others; you will do the absolutely best job you can. For example, your child will not become overly dependent, and will have just fine decision making skills. Don't let people put junk in your head. Be confident in your abilities and skills as a mom.
Take this as encouragement, and love your daughter and your husband every second of the day! Be Happy!

Answer 3

I've raised 2 boys at home, now 6 and 3. Both are happy in their own skins, both reacted completely differently the first day of preschool, and both are on their way to becoming happy, functioning adults. It hasn't been easy, but I've surrounded myself with other moms who took themselves seriously as moms. Maybe you should look for resources like that. Try doing some web searches for support groups and networking resources in your area for at-home moms. You'll probably find lots of other women with similar stories who will go to the wall for you when you need help. I'll include one website I've found in the source list below.

As far as the finger-pointing, you might consider the source. There's an old saying: "If you point one finger, 3 are pointing back at you." There might be something else going on in the lives of the people who are mocking you...

But you said you made a conscious decision to stay home with your baby. If that's true, you know why you made the decision, so stick to your guns. Anybody can be an employee; anybody can earn a paycheck. You're the only one who can be your little girl's mom. It's not a paying position, but let's face it, it's the most important job you'll ever have.

Answer 4

If your family is in a financial position to do so, you are fortunate. Up until the last 40 or 50 years, women did stay home and raise the children while the man worked. Those people turned out fine. My mom stayed home with us kids and so we got lots of one on one time together and she did puzzles, mazes, drawing, and reading with me and I think that contributed to my success in the classroom once I went off to kindergarten. Then in my elementary school years it was so comforting to come home to eat a snack and tell my mother what I did.

If your heart tells you with your daughter is where you need to be, then you are doing the right thing. However, don't forget about YOU. Maintain your friendships and interests and make sure your daughter spends time with other children so she had the skills to become independent. Independence doesn't form from distance, it develops when a child feels confident enough to try and secure enough to be resilient and bounce back.

Answer 5

Hi,
I just wanted to say that your friend seems kind of rude to say that to you. Friends should support each other. I stay at home with my 2 year old son and my 9 month old daughter. I did not want to put my kids in daycare; you don't know who to trust these days. Your kids won't be too dependent. They will feel loved and be more secure because you made this choice. Go with what you feel. You sound like you really thought about it being best for her. You know what is best, so keep on doing it. Good luck and try to surround yourself with more positive people so you don't doubt yourself and your choices. You seem like a good hearted mom.

Answer 6

You made the right decision! My oldest just started school. I am a stay at home mom, keep the kids with me all the time, choose playgroups over preschool, and take them shopping. My son is just 5, one of the youngest in his class. He is confident and independent. Just last week he stood up in front of his 500 student school to recite a poem by himself. His favourite shirt is a black dress shirt with pink and purple pin striping, a boy in his class told him that pink was only for girls, my son told me later and said "but that's okay, he doesn't know any better".

I heard a lot of the same things from friends, and that I "should" put my kids in preschool or daycare. Believe me, I would much rather be my kids teacher for the first five years (and beyond), my children are wonderful, independent leaders, and I KNOW it is because of me being there for them so much, and my unconditional love.

Answer 7

You are doing the absolute BEST thing possible by raising your daughter yourself instead of putting her in a daycare all day long. Some people HAVE to work and daycare is something that they have to do. If you don't HAVE to work, stay home with your child! That time together is very important in her formative years. She needs her momma! And she WILL grow to be independent as she gets older. Really, a 20 mos old is just "a baby on wheels" at this point!

Answer 8

No, staying home is so much better than sending them to a disease infested daycare. I stay at home with my two girls and it is so wonderful, i get to see them grow up and learn. Your "Friends" should be supportive of your decision to stay at home with your child. I have a two year old girl and her daddy stayed at home while i worked the first year and then i got pregnant and decided to stay at home with both of them. It's been the best thing i have ever done. you can teach them things daycares can if not better and when people ask what i do i say "I'm a stay at home Mom" and people think that is so awesome that i get to stay at home and watch my children grow and learn. and i feel better knowing that both of my kids are being taught by me than someone in a daycare. if you don't have to work then don't stick your kid in a daycare just b/c you friends think your wasting your time. your not wasting your time you are raising your child. and there is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 9

No you are not. I don't have kids yet but when I do my husband and I already talked bout me raising the children. Also our religion(Islam) requires that a woman stay and raise the children if she wants. Don't let other people tell you it is wrong. As long as you stay at home raising your kids they'll be better off than if both of you were working.

Answer 10

You are never wrong in meeting your child's needs. Of course she will need some socialization with other children her age at times, but I don't think your child will ever look back and accuse you of not taking care of her. As for wasting YOUR life...what greater cause was there ever than motherhood? You won't look back saying, "Gosh, I wish I would have worked more instead of staying home with my precious child".