What do you think?
- have a guy friend that i like. we slept together three times, as friends with benefits. then he said we should back off for now because he only likes me as a friend.
- when i mention a new guy i might be interested in, he seems interested in what i am saying, but is quick to point out the bad qualities the guy possesses. he gets really over-protective.
- he never compliments me, because he says he would be leading me on. but he is quick to point out all the stuff he DOESN'T like about me. It hurts my feelings and we wind up getting into aurguments.
- he says that nothing i ever do will change the fact that he only likes me as a friend. that he will never be interested in me romatically at all. which stings, because i hate to be ruled out all together.
- when i mention any other girl he is talking to, he is quick to state that he isn't sleeping with any of them, just talking. "i could have anyone, but i haven't had sex with anyone else.." - which, i'm ruled out, why would i care?
anyone have any ideas here? because i am getting sick of the back & forth stuff..
2006-11-15 08:38:13 · 15 answers · asked by lickablecake123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
gurl u need to just let him go!
2006-11-15 08:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is messing with your head. He may not be doing it intentionally, but there it is. I would move on and not give him the benefit of being your close friend (unless you really feel you can handle all this stuff without getting emotionally worn out). If you do this, one of two things will happen. He will either decide he does like you romantically or he will move on and you will find a friend who will be more supportive of you (by not pointing out the things he doesn't like about you) & less quick to take advantage of you & your feelings. I really don't believe that there is such a thing as being "just friends" when one person cares for the other in a romantic way. All it does is end up hurting someone. If you can truly say you only care for him as a friend, then treat him just as you would one of your girlfriends (would you put up with a critical girlfriend for very long?). If you care for him more than he does you, (or says he does) then you should move on to give yourself a chance to get over him & meet someone new who will be interested in you & like all the things you are about!
2006-11-15 08:47:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if you care, don't care. what i mean to say is, no matter how you feel about it, you should probably say something like "well i think he's nice/hot/sweet/cute/" whatever you want, when he points out the bad qualities. when he says he's not sleeping with them although "he could have anyone", ask him why not. then tell him you hate to be ruled out altogether, but if that's the way it is, that's the way it is.
either it will get him to stop flirting with you and act like the decisions he've made are real, or he'll actually get real and stop talking down to you and remember that he likes you.
he's probably just got an inflated ego from the fact that you like him, he thinks other people must, too...which i guess means that he thinks you're good enough so that if YOU like him he must be pretty desirable...which i suppose is a compliment but it really doesn't make your situation any easier.
honestly just tell him that since you haven't got a chance with him you're wondering about trying your luck elsewhere (i don't know if i'd mention names) and see what happens... after all he obviously doesn't want to lose you even if he's in denial about how he feels.
good luck.
2006-11-15 08:48:08 · answer #3 · answered by fireflower413 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. He told you straight out that he is ONLY interested in being friends. The reason he points out the bad qualities in other guys is because he knows that once you find a boyfriend he wont get the "benefits" of your "friendship" anymore.
Basically, he doesnt want you, but he doesnt want anybody else to have you either. Oh yah, he will say whatever he thinks you want to hear about the other girls because he knows that IF you know the truth you would be too smart to stick around.
Move on girl...........you deserve better than a "friendship with benefits". All a "friendship with benefits" is is a way to have sex
with no strings and when one person gets hooked the other says
"we were just friends with benefits". It lets them off the hook for hurting you.
MOVE ON!!!!
2006-11-15 08:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
uhmmm, why r u still freinds????
i know this might hurt but here is something you should know very well, once sex is involved between freinds, u just can not remain as "friends". some guys however are some what so possisive to the extent that they can not let go of the ones they have. this sense of ownership could be based on love, and he is too proud to declare, it could be based on other sexual desires in the future, and it could be based on true feelings of freindship, and all the rude unthoughtfull remarks is just his way of telling you i am not sexually intreasted in u anymore.
in all cases, what are u doing there? i mean why are u still his freind, or why haven't you talked to him about it if he is a person u wana hold on too. people should try and make them self comfortable as they can in this life, and i see u running behind a person who hurts in every word he says.
follow your heart, but drive it with you mind. evaluate ur relationship to him, and how much more u can take from him. talk to him, then make the decision, just don't put up with this any more. great lucj
2006-11-15 08:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he's insecure, and wants to be the object of your desire, and everyone else's. It's a stupid game, but alot of guys play it. He wants to make sure that you are interested in him, and will sleep with him on occasion, but also keep his options open in case something else comes along. Don't sleep with him again, and see how he changes. If he likes you as more than a friend, you'll know. If not, you lost nothing. A friend doesn't treat friends that way.
2006-11-15 08:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by Eric B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl I think it's time for you to move on!!! Build up your confidence by going out with some other friends and meeting new people. Show him that you are beautiful and what he's could have had. Don't waste time on someone that doesn't want your time. You could be passing up the right one out there if you do! Good Luck!!!
2006-11-15 08:43:50 · answer #7 · answered by shyne1231 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need these games. Start seeing someone else. You'll find out how he really feels pretty quick. And if he just likes you as a friend it won't matter because you'll have a new relationship.
2006-11-15 08:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by libra1079 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me this guy likes the sex but not the idea of commitment to one person. You should move on and find a more mature person who wont hurt you with head games. Sorry just my opinion.
2006-11-15 09:01:58 · answer #9 · answered by richard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and blunt with this guy. It will probably blow his mind that you will be forthcoming with how you feel. If you want more with him, say that you do! Tell him you either want him as more than a friend or nothing at all. I'm sure that will wake him up. Good luck!
2006-11-15 08:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by *mxgirl115* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh poor girls, we are sisters, listen honey this guy is not for you because if after that you skept together he JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS then he is a jerky pig and just wants to be your friend for you know what, forget this guy you really deserve better honey dont see him again and annoy him by teasing him with your futur really loving boyfriend do this and he would be so jealous and you would win anyways, but carefull dont get back with him, take vengence , that jerk does not diserve you you really deserve better ok hon?
good luck, get better!
2006-11-15 08:43:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋