I got pregnant and we married. Found out he cheated on me while we were dating twice or more. He hung out with them and told me they were his friends. Forgave him was all i can do. Moved to his place to live with his family. I have no privacy and can't decide anything. He wanted me to listen whatever his mother say and do whatever she wants. I asked him to move out he said he'll never move out because he wants to help his family. Now i'm staying with my mom and he wanted to bring us back( my 2 month old daughter and I). what can i do for the best of my daughter?
thank you
2006-11-15 07:08:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stay where you are, that enviroment is unhealthy for your child.
2006-11-15 07:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why go back to a situation that was stressful and unhappy. All you are teaching your daughter is to settle for the least. You sound like you are young and what you need to do is look at the future for you daughter and yourself. Find out what schooling you can be enrolled in that will help with childcare and start working on a career that will support you and your baby. Men are a dime a dozen and a man that will cheat will never change. You need to be independent and take charge of your life. I know that you can do it by the question that you wrote. You sound like an awesome person who is intelligent and intuitive. You will be the role model some day for you beautiful little girl so you must do the best you can for both of you. God bless you are in my prayers.
2006-11-15 15:13:29 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be better off moving on.
If you were to move back in with your husbands family, I feel it would be like feeding the beast. In essence, without saying a word, you would be agreeing to listen to his Mother and do what ever she tells you. As a Mother now yourself are you going to be able to do what ever she tells you, where your own child is concerned? You know what it was like living there and there is a difference now. Your child was born and you have become a MOM.
Think about this very carefully, imagine some of the different scenarios. Are you and your husband going to be fighting because you didn't do what his Mother told you to do with your own child? Are you going to end up struggling all the time to be the Mother of your own child?
I am sorry I don't want to hurt anyones feeling but I have to ask this question. Is your husbands name Peter Pan? He sounds like he lives in never never land and he is never going to grow up.
I am sure if you move back with his family, it will be just a matter of time before you will be moving out again. You moved out before and there was a reason for that. Has anything changed there that would make the situation different/better?
You have to do what ever your heart tells you, just make sure your eyes are wide open.
Head up young person.
2006-11-15 16:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by Plain Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back, let your daughter know who her dad is when she is old enough but the worst thing you could ever do is move back into his family home. From experience if you were to go back you could lose self regard for yourself, feel like everything you do is wrong.
As for having to obey his mother thats the biggest no no of all, mother in-laws is how a lot of women lose their self esteem and just about everything else that is good in their lives.
Don't move back there if he loves you enough he will move into a place with you, he can still help his family living out of the family home.
2006-11-15 15:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by ladyblackpanther1202 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation. My son and I lived with his father and basically the rest of his family. It was a horrible and stressful situation. You need to move on. Obviously he isn't a very good man for you to be with. Cheating is not acceptable. Granted he did it before you were married, but still. You have a child and need to raise her in a good environment. It's hard to raise a child on your own, I am raising 2 alone. If he is not ready to move out and be with you and your daughter, then leave him alone. It's commendable that he wants to help out his family, but you and your daughter are his family also. You two should come first. He needs to grow up and realize that. Save your money and get your own place. Give him an ultimatum and stick with it. He might be a good dad, but he is not doing you any good. You just need to tell him how you feel, one on one. If he still can't make up his mind or refuses to leave his parents house, MOVE ON!!! You will find someone who will want to be with you and love you and your daughter. Someone who puts you two first. Good luck!! It won't be easy, but it will be worth it in the long run.
2006-11-15 15:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by 81% Naughty, 19% Nice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stand your ground. Let him know that you feel it's best for the new family he created that he get you a place of your own where you can raise your daughter without someone else telling you what to do. You can live near his family if that helps, but not in the same house as them.
Until he abides, you'll be with your Mom.
2006-11-15 15:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMM...aren't you and your daughter his family now. I understand about wanting to help out his parents but when you marry you are suppose to stick to your wife and kids. I would continue living with your mother until he realizes that. In the mean time you should better yourself and your daughter. I know it will be hard but I think it will benefit you and your daughter in the long run. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-11-15 15:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your mom until you can get your own place and financial stability. By no means should you live with him and his family. When he mans up, stops cheating and is ready for the responsibility then if you like invite him to stay with you. Only if you trust him to do right by you and your daughter.
2006-11-15 15:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by fiveninebaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow him to see his daughter (superviser of coarse)..but stay where you are .... When you got married you and that child should have became #1 in his life.... If his mothers wishes comes before yours in his mind then he is not ready to be married.
2006-11-15 16:12:43 · answer #9 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that honestly sucks. im sorry 4 you. i feel like your better off without him and if he really wants to be with you and your daughter, then make him come to you!! it wont work sounds like hes afraid of leaving his other family .i wouldnt mess with him for the sake of you!!! and as far as your all daughter try to make it where they have a relationship if possable.. just do what you feel YOU should do .good luck!
2006-11-15 15:13:54 · answer #10 · answered by rocs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want a man who cheated on you raising your daughter? Answer that, then decide.
2006-11-15 15:12:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋