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I met a guy online about 3 months ago he lives in the United Kingdom, and I live in the US. We have become very close in the last 3 months sent many letters back and forth, talk on the phone everyday, etc. I am currently married but have thoughts of divorce, (I had these thoughts before I met him) he plans to come and visit me in February of next year and then possibly eventually come here for good. Is it possible this will even ever work?

2006-11-15 06:13:34 · 17 answers · asked by jess0866 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

17 answers

Yes it would possibly work if you get divorced .
and maybe not if you find him someone who is Intolerable and not interesting .you never know his way of living since you both just have had only simple conversations on the phone and in chat rooms.

2006-11-15 06:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0 0

Yes it can work, but not under the circumstance you've described. You need to get your own life in order before you consider anything about this other guy or it "working". Decide whether you are married or not, and do something about it. If you are married, then quit screwing around on the internet. If you aren't married, file for a divorce and finish up the mess you've already created before it gets any worse. When and IF the divorce is final, if you still want to meet this guy ... go for it. You have to agree that one of you is going to move before the relationship gets anymore involved.You have to have an enormous amount of trust and respect for the other person. You have to communicate daily.

Case in point ...
My unmarried cousin met a Moroccan guy online, and they "fell in love" online. A year or so later, she went to Morocco and they got married. She came home to the US, and they started the paperwork for him to immigrate to the US. September 11th happened and stalled his Visa. They continued to talk online and work on the immigration paperwork. Almost 4 years after they met, his Visa was finally approved and he moved to the US. They're together and, by all appearances, very happy with the situation.

But the moral to the story is ...
It took being available for a relationship -- both were unmarried.
It took commitment -- to relocate, to apply, to get married, etc.
It took a tremendous amount of time -- almost 4 years!
It took a large amount of money -- several thousand dollars.
And it took a ton of communication -- every time one or the other would fall out of contact, the other would get nervous about what the other one was "up to".

2006-11-15 06:26:45 · answer #2 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0 0

well title seems simpler than the actual question lol

A relationship can work this way if you accept it can. If both or one of you cant accept that this has possiablities and can work then it wont. There is alot of strain. Personally Iam going through one fo these, for 6 months now. The fact you know the other person puts it ahead alittle bit. So your goals should ressemble that. Figure out right away if it does go, who makes the move, other wise what good is your efforts if neither wants to move.

You have to be more trusting Ive found, but you can connect and become greater friends in the proccess, and develope an non sexual relationship first, so you know you wont just have lust as the foundation.

Its really up to you if you think its worth going ahead. For me and my girl it is. It does take more effort than an actual relationship I found lol.

Your divoce is something I wont even touch, thats your business, and I just hope everything will work out for you in a positive way :)

2006-11-15 06:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

No, you're fooling yourself and your husband. He is a stranger you have never met and you're a married woman-- that doesn't sound promising. Don't become a lying cheater. Either end your marriage or end your little online affair. Do you really want a man who doesn't mind messing with a married woman? And what must he think of you? A married woman willing to meet strange men off the internet?

2006-11-15 06:17:52 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1 0

I think you should worry about getting a divorce before thinking about another relationship working. Settle your personal issues first before dragging someone new in to your life.
I do think it could work after all of that. It all depends on how much you both put into it.

2006-11-15 06:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by kinkiness101 1 · 1 0

Is that a real question? 2 guys, one of which is in another country, seems like it's not going to work. What are you doing meeting guys online if you're married anyway? Pick one and be done with it.

2006-11-15 06:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Yeah they can work, but since there is a higher chance of your remarriage ending in divorce than for it lasting it probably won't work for long. My advice would be to try and get your current marriage fixed.

2006-11-15 06:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by Rossonero NorCal SFECU 7 · 1 0

Yes it can work. For example, My boyfriend and I have been doing it for a year already and still very much in love. He is planning on moving down here next year. So just hang in there and dont let any unnessary thoughts go into your head. Because one thing that you need to make a long distance relationship work is TRUST. without that it wont last too long.

2006-11-15 06:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by homie_j 2 · 0 2

You betcha it will work - be honest and open about your communication with each other, make sure he knows your situation before he comes here tho - you want a smooth transition - perhaps you should seperate from your hubby before he arrives. You should seperate anyways if your thinking about divorce anyways, why are you holding yourself back?

2006-11-15 06:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 0 0

your private life has no concern here its the abroad friend
give it a go
try you loosing nothing
some times divorce gives more results than being together and try to solve things
divorce some times makes you more beautifull in ex eyes

2006-11-15 06:19:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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