Well, to be honest, I'd really know how to break up with her if she had prior experience.
I do care for her though, in ways I don't care about most people. However, the love (for me) isn't there anymore, and I really want to move on, but there's this small problem for me: I'm her first (in practically everything.)
Is there anyway to break up without scarring her? I know I'll hurt her, and she knows that we'll eventually break up which is what hurts her, but the thing is I'm a caring guy that really doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm a college freshman and she's still a high-school senior back at home, so there really isn't any full proof ways I can see her until at least next September. Also, with college, I haven't really found the time to be able to speak with her, and shes seems to find that irritating or bad. I do care for her, it's just that at the same time I don't think this is working, and that it's better that we part ways than to drag it out.
What should I do???
2006-11-15 05:51:24 · 10 answers · asked by Fuh Q. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should be honest just like you are in your letter. You are absolutely right in the fact the she will be hurt but it is in the way that the break up is done that determines on a certain level the impact that it could leave for her future. First of all do not kiss her or show romantic feelings before breaking up because it only confuses the person. Eventhough your intentions would be to make her feel better you can not take care of the person since you need to distant yourself. Be gentle, be caring but with your words and your face but after it is done be respectful and dont give her false impressions or false hope. Last but not least try to stay away from situations where you could come face to face with her so that she does not feel like you are partying and celebrating your new found freedom. Go through a period of mourning yourself that way everybody will have time to heal from a separation. You seem like a good guy so I am sure that you will do the right thing, just be nice and try to understand what she is going through she is being dumped and no one likes but also no one dies from it and it can be a growing experience for everyone if it is well done. Good luck my friend and continue having a kind heart because its nice to know that even the dumper can feel alot of pain
2006-11-15 06:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by Tanya F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit her down and tell her how you feel about the situation and that you want her to be able to move onto someone else and do her own thing without having to worry about being with someone that doesn't love them the way that they deserve to be loved. That you care about her but you don't see yourself staying with her. Also remember that people always remember their first regardless of what went on with it. Tell her that it will just hurt more if you keep dragging it out longer than it should be, it's just like a bandage rip it off really fast so it doesn't hurt as badly, or as long. You sound like a nice guy, so good luck :-D
2006-11-15 05:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by athenajade 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest. From experience I know that sometimes relationships simply don't work out. Explain to her that you don't want to hurt her and that you do still care for her. Just not in that way. Explain that being with her and not having the same feelings is hurting her much more than breaking it off. She deserves to find someone that will be as crazy about her as she is about him. Maybe she won't see that now, but she'll appreciate your honesty and look back on your relationship in a good way.
2006-11-15 06:10:34 · answer #3 · answered by KellyBelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you care about her and you've come to think of her like a sister. Anyone will be hurt by the first break up, but you can make it not as bad. Anyway there's no point dragging it out when you've already grown apart because your lives are so different now.
2006-11-15 05:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to be with her anymore then don't drag it out. It will be better for her in the long run if you don't stay with her just because you feel sorry for her. Call her and talk it through or go see her and tell her in person. If I had a choice I would want someone to tell me in person but if there is no choice then call her. Don't drag this out just be nice when you are telling her. Let her know that you want to move on. It is better that she finds out now instead of a year later.
2006-11-15 05:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it gently. Tell her that she desrves better than what you have to offer her right now. Say you see how your conflicting schedules upset her and she ought to be with someone who has more time to devote to her. If you tell her that you're doing this because you care about her and that you don't want her to settle for a relationship that doesn't make her happy and that you want to see her with someone who has the time to make her happy, she'll be hurt and may even lash out at you. But in time, she will see that you did the right thing. Expect hurt, but also give her the time she needs to heal and get over you. Good luck.
2006-11-15 05:56:31 · answer #6 · answered by PisceKween 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kudos to you for actually caring about hurting her!!! Honestly, i think what you just wrote is everything she needs to know. Yea it may hurt her but she will appreciate your honesty and not being an a**hole about it.
2006-11-15 05:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by Mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over yourself. She'll find a second love. Be true to yourself. Her feelings are her responsibility, not yours.
2006-11-15 05:59:43 · answer #8 · answered by Earth Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter it going to be tough on her but the sooner you do it the sooner she will get over it.
2006-11-15 05:55:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do it and don't look back
2006-11-15 05:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by newmom3272002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋