he is now acting out--like destroying things that arent his. how do we handle his anger. he is seeing a psychologist. but i need help dealing with his anger not just one a one visit a week thing. i need advice to help him with his anger. he is also saying that he is hearing the devil the psychologist says its normal but i think otherwise. we do go to church . i believe him when he says he hears things and sees them. what do i do. where do i turn for help. this dr. isnt helping.
2006-11-15 05:42:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
i have talked to him about jesus since he was a baby and taught him to pray. i ask that each one of you who read this will pray for my baby, my heart is broken for him and what he is going through he is a caring child and sweet everybody likes him. hes hurt and i feel his pain everyday. he want me to take the voices out of his head and make the devil go away he blames me and im okay with that. it just hurts my inner heart and soul. please just pray for him. thank you all who took the time to help us
2006-11-15 06:23:59 · update #1
there is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain and not being able to protect him or her. i know the cousin has been abused before this. she was also mean to him she threw toys at him and pushed him just mean things i cant forgive her . i know your not suppose to hate someone but i do.. i am asking the court to send her to juvenile hall. when you ask her about what she did she just smiles deviously and says no i didnt- we have proof that she did. she just smerks . i hate her
2006-11-15 06:28:53 · update #2
Time for a new doctor???
2006-11-15 05:47:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Second opinions are a really good thing!
You might also want to find someone who will see your son more frequently and also maybe do more of a family therapy approach. This is affecting the whole family, right? It's not at all unusually to include the family in the child's therapy - which does not mean your son won't be the focus. It also doesn't mean that all of you will usually attend together. Depends on the therapist.
Btw, your 12 year old niece most likely was abused, too. It's a very common reason for a kid that age - especially a girl - to do such a thing. She needs help, too. So, try to muster some compassion for her. It's unlikely that she's the "real" source of the sexual abuse.
PS - an evaluation by a psychiatrist would also be a very smart thing to do, especially if you are questioning the psychologist (who is not a medical doctor and not the expert in identifying potential mental illness). Do it for peace of mind if nothing else.
EDIT:
Based on your follow up comments, it's clear that you most definitely need a professional counselor to help you deal with this situation in a way that helps your son. Where you are at now is compounding the abuse. It is about you; it is not helping your son. What he needs is stability, continuity, love, compassion... and a whole lot of things a parent hell bent on revenge cannot give. A 12 yr old that you know was abused does not need incarceration and punishment. She needs psychiatric help and social services. GET A GRIP on yourself and seek professional care for yourself because YOUR SON REALLY NEEDS YOU TO GET IT.
2006-11-15 05:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get a second opinion! If he is acting out due to anger, the therapist should get the family involved in the counseling. This type of behavior affects all of the family members. It is normal for your son to be angry, but he needs an outlet. Find something for him to project his anger onto (like, sports). You could have family discussions about anger and how to react to it appropriately. The library and book stores have self-help books geared to your specific needs. Maybe you could try some of them. Try this source for extra help.
2006-11-15 05:58:37 · answer #3 · answered by sapphire66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in to seeing another doctor. And when he starts talking this way don't react in a "Oh My God kind of way" Talk normal. You don't want him to start using this "I've been abused" to get his way. If he dose something out of line he needs to be punished.
When he gets to be an adult no one is going to care that he was abused.
Also the 12 year old girl needs help also. She most likely was abused by some pervert.
2006-11-15 05:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, my heart goes out to you. I have experience in a couple of these areas. One is abuse, and the other is angery brother, as well as CHURCH.
My wisdom to you....
Of course PRAY. Take him to a pastor, have people pray over him....I do not doubt that he is battling for his innocence. Perhaps something in the abusive situation has set him on a course to hate himself. You as a loving mother can be a part of his healing...a strong male role model with be key because it was a female that crossed his boundaries.
The next is....his anger is probably not soley confined to his experiences with his cousin.....kids cross boundaries when they are not taught well so you couldn't have known to keep him safe from that....helping him to understand that what happened was somebody crossed a boundary he can say NO too next time will help him......but I suspect his anger is for more then that.....
Give him tools to deal with Satan. Tell him God's promises......"He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."
Tell him to tell those voices to go away in JESUS name.
Christ is the son of God, the only authority against the devil. Thank God for that. :)
Talk to him and tell him that he can choose who to listen too...that the devil tempts us, but we can "RESIST the devil and he will flee"
Have you thought about exercise? Is he in sports? Is he getting all that tension out? Perhaps that will help calm him down enough where you can instill these promises....
Perhaps he feels ashamed, powerless and weak...these for the male types are horrible to feel......a MAN needs to initiate this boy into manhood...into the control and power that he is intitled to have.......that happens by hanging out and being encouraged by a man.......
Have you asked him to tell you why he is angry? If he doesn't know is there a way to get him to try and figure it out? Like....why are you hurting THAT toy........what did it do wrong?
Structure, prayer, older male investment in his life, God's promises for him.....
These will yield results...and fruit.
2006-11-15 06:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by Reese 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
find a new dr. one who specializes in anger mgmt & sexual abuse. although you sympathize with what has happened, you must still enforce giudelines. i'm sure this is very hard but expression is ok but violence is not. as far as the voices, this may have triggered a mental illness. the dr. saying this is normal is a fool. this needs to be addressed.
aslo, i hope the 12 y/o is getting help. she is probably acting out what has happened to her.
2006-11-15 05:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by medicbev 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-29 04:11:05 · answer #7 · answered by broadway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my adopted son had a hard life and when he came to me he was really angry and heard voices' telling him to hurt people and to hurt his self... you mite have to get him on some medication for his anger and get a therapest to talk about whats bothering him so much.have you talked to this couson about how she messed his mind and body over..another thing that help my son is a punching bag.when he comes home from school 'and is angry for some reason 'he punchs his bag foe 10 min and its takes alot of anger out of him good-luck and god-bless
2006-11-15 05:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another doctor. Also, Talk to your Pastor, Priest, or Minister. What ever Church you attend. Your "Pastor" can council and guide!
2006-11-15 05:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by Gramms 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you believe what he says ..than you both need to be cared for ..your son should continue to see the Psychologist but you need some thing little stronger ..like a SHRINK..
2006-11-15 05:54:03 · answer #10 · answered by JJ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
has he talked to your pastor? I think that it might be a good idea, considering you do go to church. its hard for kids to deal with this sort of thing, i dealt with it as a kid myself, without help. it takes time, i wish you and your son the best.
2006-11-15 05:52:35 · answer #11 · answered by aswingerof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋