What are the stages of grief when a loved one commits suicide?

Question

Does anybody know how to deal with it?

Answer 1

My cousin commited suicide last year.

When I first heard, I considered that I thought he might be in hell. So, I had to pray in spirit & truth to God about it. Love rejoices in the truth. I rejoiced in my spirit my cousin was in heaven with the Lord. What the Lord revealed to me was comfirmed true at the funeral, and the next Sunday service at my own church. He didn't get the rewards that the Lord wanted to give him though. The lies, unforgiveness was fried and didn't go to heaven with him. But he had been born of God at some time in his life.

I was sad that I, or much of the family, didn't realize the depression he was going through. But, he didn't reach out to us. So after word, we decided to have family reunion every September. If we can come, come; and if not, not this time; it's OK. Last September was our first family reunion. Most on my dad's side went. But those that didn't come was felt. But it is good that we can connect again.

The Christian needs to pray for all family & friends of loved one who died, and come against all things that lead or root in the act of suicide. Suicidal spirits will try to influence any one who knew the person who committed suicide (looking for a next victim). Suicide is more common around the Holidays because of loneliness.

If one can't rejoice in the spirit about loved one in heaven with the Lord, then that would be difficult.

The suicide terrorists doesn't go to heaven (hell instead). So that would be a great loss for family.

Answer 2

I am dealing with it. My father committed suicide a little over a year ago.

The person who said suicide is immoral needs to 1. learn how to read and 2. walk a mile in that suicide victim's shoes.

Moving on....

The grief process is Shock/Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Many people think that they come in that order, and that is not true. You can be angry one moment, in denial the next, and back to angry later on. You can be depressed and crying, then suddenly angry and raging.

How to deal with it is a more complicated issue. There's no way around going through the stages. It's something you will deal with in some way for the rest of your life. But, you can do some things that will protect your emotional health as you work through it.

1. Pay attention to your moods. Pay attention to what you are thinking, how you are behaving - keep tabs on yourself.

2. Allow yourself to be in whatever stage of the process you are in. If you are depressed, cry. If you are angry, go for a walk. Yell. Hit a pillow. If you are in denial, don't beat yourself up to much about it, but try to gently make yourself face it.

3. Set limits. If you are depressed to the point that it begins to be unmanageable, or it is causing you to want to hurt yourself or others, or it is seriously affecting your quality of life, seek professional help immediately. If you are having any tendencies towards uncontrollable rage, same thing - anger is a very prevalent stage with a suicide.

4. Be creative. Make a scrapbook. Write letters to the person you lost. Keep a journal. Draw how you feel. Talk as much as you can about it. If you paint, do that... if you write fiction, incorporate that too... whatever creative energy you can express, go with that. I always recommend writing to the person and about the person in letters or in a journal.

5. There will be guilt almost every time with a suicide. You must not let that consume you. You may know intellectually that it's not your fault, and yet in your heart, you may still feel it is. "I could have..." "I should have..."

It's normal, but it can be the most crippling emotion of all in this journey. You are not a perfect person, nor are you psychic. The fault does not lie with you, no matter what you may think to the contrary. Just because you had an argument once, or let the person down once... or just because there was something you conceivably "could have" done does not mean it's your fault that the person has died. Forgive yourself for whatever you need to forgive yourself for, and try to refrain from blame altogether.

It's natural to try to find who to blame. Try your best to instead blame the depression, because that is the truth.

Answer 3

I had two of my brothers that committed suicide....and to be honest, I think it's something you never quite recover from. The first was in 1995, and I was a relatively new believer. It was the first time that I ever really encountered death close to me, and I was inconsolable! I wasn't even able to be comforted by God for weeks, because my pain was so great. Even to this day, sometimes it floods back in a second; the phone call; the shock; the pain, and I weep for the tragic loss! My second brother killed himself in 2002; my MOTHER FOUND HIM! Can you imagine losing 2 sons this way? I lost 2 brothers, but to lose two children is unimaginable! I honestly don't think I've fully grieved for my 2nd brother.....the pain was too raw, and I have to confess to being angry with him for doing this to us again, after he knew how devastated we all were! I've been writing about it, as I find that therapeutic....now it's just me and my oldest brother left.....I thank God that He helped me through that horrific time. I truly don't know how I would have made it without His comfort. God Bless you in your time of pain. Email me if you want to talk.

Answer 4

ANGER I lost my brother from suicide. The only advice I can give you is to do the best you can. There may be some that would disagree with me but from experience I can tell you that suicide is an addiction and once they really get it in their heads the thought of it romances them and takes over until they finally succeed. I still can't make any sense of it. Good Luck and God Bless You.

Answer 5

I do not know the stages but my wife of 26 years committed suicide. I just cried a lot and went into prayer. I then found a master and I learnt that she had been murdered by a relative using black magic well i have prayed and prayed for the last 8 years and now I know God and I have also found her, She helped me to escape from my car when it caught fire. I have lots of power given by the Lord but I do not speak about it

Answer 6

Yes 'cotter...' this question isnt even saying suicide is moral, you jerk. And if the asker had someone kill themselves that they knew, how can you even say that?
Sorry if you have suffered this loss, I think its probably similar to most stages of grief - denial, anger, sadness, guilt etc. and then, hopefully, a return to normal. But I think if it's suicide it will be a shock and probably take longer to get over.

Answer 7

Shock, hurt, anger, recovery. You can be in two stages at one time. Most dangerous time is between hurt and anger. It can last anywhere from 1-5 years. If you are going through this seek help from a Christian professional who deals with this..

Answer 8

I know that anger is one of them but I think the biggest is fear. Fear that the person is not going to Heaven. Put all your trust in Jesus and pray every day for them. Jesus is outside of time and prayers that come at a certain time are not limited to that time. The second before this person slipped into eternity he could have been given grace to repent. Remember one of the final utterances from the cross was "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" I believe this is for someone who through mental illness or something that effected them so badly they took their own life. Just trust in Jesus and give it to him.

Answer 9

Natural Grief=shock, anger, denial, bargaining acceptance and it goes to wherever, whenever. Any feelings are part of grief and its better not to medicate them or even attempt to control them. That way they pass.Eventually. I offer condolences to you if this is what you are going through.

Answer 10

One day at a time...

I'm very sorry. May the comfort of the Holy Spirit be continually with you.