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A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. "Guaranteed my ***", he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me you can have me!"

Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business."

2006-11-15 04:44:43 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised.

So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20 pound program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised!

2006-11-15 04:45:02 · update #1

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/50 pound loss program. "Are you sure," asks the representative on the phone, "this is our most rigorous program..." "Absolutely," he replies. "I haven't felt this great in years!"

The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"

2006-11-15 04:45:17 · update #2

32 answers

omg that was great!
it was 30 point's do you really think that's worth dinner?!

2006-11-15 08:35:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

Eat a diet filled with all natural healthy whole foods

2016-03-18 16:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

run 5 percent of a marathon at a 10 minute mile pace

2015-04-06 09:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Natividad 1 · 0 0

Not eating or skipping meals is not dieting If you do you may get more weight

2016-04-01 01:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

That's a good one!

2006-11-15 04:49:28 · answer #5 · answered by Thunderman9 6 · 0 0

Get tips from weight loss community

2016-01-28 17:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

Really funny...thanks for making me smile! I've already passed it along to my friends.

2006-11-15 06:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by nudie chick 6 · 0 0

play squash for 8 minutes

2016-05-28 10:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by Winston 5 · 0 0

2 hour round of tennis

2016-03-17 23:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by Stuart 3 · 0 0

automate your eating by planning your meals ahead of time that way you re less likely to make an unhealthy last minute food choice

2015-12-18 06:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by Debra 3 · 0 0

ask your guy to massage you for an hour and 50 minutes

2016-07-04 06:51:11 · answer #11 · answered by Fredrick 5 · 0 0

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