How can I tell my dad, please help. All advice.?

Question

My dad always bugs me. He always tells me to be just like my sister, get envolve with sports and music lessions. Do what she does. And I get sick of it ,when I have to clean and cook all the time, my sister sits on her butt all day and dont lift a finger. She's always get out of things and run around everywhere. Even though we dont know where or what shes doing.. And I end up doing her work. She's 16 and she doesn't keep her room clean. I'm sick of cleaning her room. I get really want to tell my dad I want to drop out of school ,cause I know I'm not smart. And I'm happy with my life. I dont want to be my sister. My dad always put's me down and always praise her. I do so much for my family , since my mom left us. But I get no respect and I get treated bad. Any advice .

Even my boyfriend agrees with me.

I'm sick of him calling me on my cell ever 5 mins and ask me what's going on. I told my dad that me and my boyfriend are getting married and I'm going to be a house wife.

While my boyfriend works.

PLEASE HELP.

I want to tell him that after I leave I want him and my sister out of my life and my own familyes life. For good.

I always hated my dad and he knows. I just dont know he wont just leave me alone. And let me be my own person.

I never get a moments peace. I always have to wait on him. Get me this , do that . I never have time for myself.

Answer 1

Although you didn't say your age..you seem pretty young. Please Please please stay in school and finish. You will be so happy that you got your education when you grow up.
Let your Dad know about being unhappy about having to take up your sisters slack and always being compared to her. He might not even realize that he is doing that. But stay in school. If you want to get married and be a housewife after that then do it.

Answer 2

My opinion very similar to the others that have responded, you do
sound young. Which is why you think the way you do. I really don't
advise for you to be anything like your sister or what your father wants you to be. If your happy w/yourself w/out any hobbies perfectly fine. I also think you should only do your share of choirs,
if your sister chooses not to your not any ones maid. I use to go
through the situation and I realized that i just needed to do my part. I should have to do anyone else's work! Your not a wife or mother yet to have all this load on you. I strongly suggest you stay in school, you fill regret leaving. Maybe not right away but future wise I did. Right after high school I decide to get married, by now I could of finished my career. And make double the money I make now & have education. So after a few years after high school, I just returned to college. I so regret not doing this before. And am sure your not stupid, you can be if you want to be ! Remember there are decisions in life you end up regreting for a long time, or you always will. Good luck I hope you really think thorugh your options before deciding.

Answer 3

Hopefully your boyfriend doesn't agree with the dropping out of school part of all that. If he does he isn't a very good boyfriend. The reason I start with that is that of all this stuff, school is the most important thing when it comes to your future. I look at your profile and I don't see someone who isn't smart, I see someone who likes to read and write and has goals. If you really want to be a great writer then you need to stay in school. Good writing is hard work and requires a lot of skills that go far beyond just writing and being creative.

As for the rest of this, try and remember that your mom leaving has been hard on your dad to. He is probably just doing the best he can do. You sister is no angel I'm sure but right now your dad needs to believe that. It is never any fun when a sibling takes advantage of a situation and get stuck with all the crap. However, it is from all this crap that you grow and become strong for the future. Stop focusing on the bad and start looking towards the good. You have a family, they care about you, your not abused, and on and on and on....you have so much that so many people in this world would be thankful for. Life isn't easy and there are going to be times when your aren't respected and not treated fairly but you still have to learn to step up and just get through those times and focus on the big picture of your future. Life changes and while you may be happy at this moment with how things are and think dropping out of school is a good idea, in the long run it is a huge mistake and one that will potentially ruin all of your hopes and dreams.

Answer 4

You haven't said how old you are. Somehow I doubt that it's as one sided as you portray, however, on the off chance that it is, there is a way to approach your father.
First, take an objective (fair and unbiased) look at what each of you contribute to the family. That is, your father works, your sister does whatever, and what you do. Write it down.
Ask you father as to when the two of you can have a talk, just the two of you.
Then simply tell him how you feel, beginning with the part about how you miss your mom, and how you feel about school.
I think there is a bit of depression going on here and that you may have some self esteem issues.
You are a valuable part of the family, and I'm sure that your Dad doesn't want you to be so much like your sister as he wants for you to enjoy success in life. As parents, we try to give our children the tools to succeed. You just have to use them.
Give your Dad a chance by being open and honest with him. I think you'll find him more open than you think.

Answer 5

If you haven't let them both know how you feel, please tell them. Your sister should be keeping her own room clean. Tell them something like... that them not helping you out makes you want to move out because you don't feel your getting respected.

Watch how you say things when you talk to them. Here are some tips to get your point across without either of them going on the defensive. http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,5759,00.html


Please don't drop out of school. I got engaged with a guy when I was a teen and found out a year later that it wouldn't work out. I'm glad I finished school so that I could support myself. Plus, if for some reason your household needs a second income down the road, you will have the education to get a good job.

My advice, if your talk to your family and things don't improve, moving out might be the best thing. But please stay in school!

Answer 6

Don't drop out of school ! I'm sure you're not stupid, it just sounds like you're having a hard time and need a little understanding from your family. Tell your father very firmly that you are NOT your sister and you dont want to be her either.

The best thing you can do is move out. Sounds like your sister is a princess and your dad is somewhat clueless. Maybe without you they will realize how much you did for them and apologize!

Answer 7

Tell your dad, "look I'm sick you treating me like crap. Telling me to just be like my sister. Tell him to cook and clean for once. Tell your sister to get up off her butt and do something. Clean her own room. I was in the exact same problem 2 months ago. I told my dad and it worked. Just tell him straight and see what happens after words.

Answer 8

hello. Your letter moved me alot because it had alot of similarities with my life... You told us how old your sisters was but it would have helped if we knew how old you are? Anyway all I have to say is to be proud of yourself first of all. We all need love and encouragement in life but sometimes we need to wait a long time to get it. Please dont say that you are not smart enough to stay in school because I dont even know you and by your letter I can easily say that you are not only smart but you are also hard working, caring and eager to be who you want to be and not be someone else. Talk to your dad from your heart and with respect. Talk about how you feel and how sometimes you feel missunderstood and lonely. Dont take the approach of attacking by pointing figures at others but only talk about you and how you persive things around you by stating facts that you can discuss and get maybe a feed back on how they see things. Sometimes the lack of constructive and healthy communication is the only thing to fix in relationships whether its with your family or friends, good communication is the key word. You might say that you have tried numerous times to talk but no one will listen or that they dont understand and that may be true but sometimes if you change your approach in expressing yourself you might find a way to trigger there attention and maybe reach a cord in there hearts that will make them open up and purge there emotions too. Keep trying and please be proud of yourself eventhough no one seem to notice all your efforts...love yourself and i promise one day you will be loved back the way you deserve... be good, be nice and be safe

Answer 9

How old are you? Seems to me your marrying for the wrong reasons...with regards to your dad, you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. If you find that hard, then maybe you should write him a letter instead. Good Luck

Answer 10

Sounds to me like your dad doesn't trust you and thinks you're gonna end up being a bad girl. Tell him to shove it up his and move in with your BF.