my best friend found out she is pregnant, and she is 19, going to college part time, and working 3 part time jobs, well, she told her parents about it yesterday... her mother asked her when she could get an abortion, and her father broke a guitar, but this is really the clencher, when she said that she was keeping the baby, they told her she should be ashamed to be pregnant, and that she shouldn't tell anyone, we live in a small town, where you just can't hide things like this for very long, are they wrong for telling her she should be ashamed?
2006-11-15 04:14:03 · 21 answers · asked by babyatgradys 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh, i knew before her parents knew, and i told her it would probably be rought, but she knows that im going to be here no matter what...and she knows that i will do anything that she needs, and she is planning on finishing college, i told her i would babysit, if need be..
2006-11-15 04:33:55 · update #1
She should not be ashamed. My father asked when I was getting abortion with my second child, I didn't because that would have been something that I had to deal with emotionally for the rest of my life. Now he loves her like crazy. When the time for her to be ashamed of being pregnant has long passed. If she was 15 and younger like so many girls out there then shame plays a factor. Her parents are living in the old age where they rushed their pregnant child to a clinic and forced abortion or to a house where they housed pregnant teen but her is grown and I am sure that she will be a responsible mother. Tell her that she has to do what feels right for her. It is her body and my children have brought joy to my life along with gray hair and headaches but I is better than wondering what the child would have been.
Good luck to her and stick by her. It will be a emotional time for her. She will need the support.
2006-11-15 04:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by Staci R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course they are wrong for telling her this. She should have her baby if she want to and stay in college as long as possible. If people in the town have a problem with her and her baby, she can always move or just tell them all where to go. Parent should be teaching you not to worry about what other people thing and just to do the right thing or in this case what they feel is right. 19 is young to have a baby, but at least she is out of high school and hopefully she can get some of her college done before the baby is born, so she has the oppertunity to make a good life for them.
Parents talking that way is why so many babies are abondoned or left for dead in dumpsters. Shame on the parents for not being there for their child!
2006-11-15 04:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she should not be ashamed her parents had no right to even say that. It's all her choice what to do. I got pregnant a few months before i turned 18 so i was 17 a minor. My mom just said if i kept the babt IT WAS MINE she was not a babysitter she was not a ATM machine for diaper money. She never kicked me out or told me i should be ashamed she just let me know she raised her kids she would not raise mine. My son's now 101/2 she is a great grandmal to him but she is not his babysitter he stays all night now and then with her. Your friend is 19 DOSE NOT MATTER what they want or feel. If she is ready and dose not need to lean on them she can tell em it's not their problem. If she is depending on them she's going to have a hard time with this. As for a small town that has nothing to do with nothing. Her parents she be ashamed of their behavior. ADULTS don't break things when they get mad, mom's don't try to run their 19 olds life.
2006-11-15 04:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like her parents reacted before they thought about it. I'm sure they will come around. If not your friend will need a lot of support from you! I came from a small town and got pregnant at 17 and you have some people talk at first but people get over it and I could not believe all the support and gifts I received after my daughter was born! You need to stick by her side and defend her when others criticize. What she is doing is a lot more commendable than an abortion!!
2006-11-15 04:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are most certainly wrong for saying such harsh things to her at such a delicate time in her life. They need to be more supportive of her and the last thing they should be saying is have an abortion. I was 18 when I became pregnant, a senior in high school, and discovered it when my parents drove me to the MEPS station in Harrisburg to be signed into the delayed entry program in the Air Force. I blew a career by becoming pregnant but my parents didn't say such cruel things to me. Being her best friend and having rather insensitive parents to turn to at this point (hopefully they will turn around later after the shock has worn off) you need to be there for her and reassure her it's not a bad thing and everything will work out for the best.
Good luck.
2006-11-15 04:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant at 19 too, and my parents were mad, but they didn't tell me I should be ashamed and all that. They recommended an abortion, though. I think your friends parents are laying it on a little thick; they need to become familiar with reality and remember this happens all the time its not the end of the world. You should keep telling your friend that so she doesn't get overwhelmed listening to them and makes her own choices. She's already in school, and having a kid won't stop her from finishing (I did, graduate school after, too!)
Having a kid at her age won't ruin her life but it will change it irrevocably, but then, so will any choice she makes.
2006-11-15 04:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a wonderful friend. Being young and alone and pregnant is rough, but possible. I was unwed and nineteen when I found out I was pregnant with my now five year old daughter. It is scary, to go from having so many plans and ideas for your life to realizing that none of those things matter anymore. Just keep reassuring her that she is making the right choice and hopefully, with time, her parents will come around. till then stand firm and bring a new life into the world.
2006-11-15 05:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by heather d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. They should support her in her decision. She will need her friends to rally around her during this time. Pregnancy is a very emotional time even when you have support, so be sure to stand by her and help her along. Small town or not, it takes two to tango. In her parents defense, they are probably old fashioned and are concerned with their own appearance.
Tell her that she sounds responsible and to keep at it no matter how hard it gets, her education will pay off for her and her child in the long run.
2006-11-15 04:25:08 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her parents are idiots and you are a good friend.
Her parents will probably come around once she starts to show and be excited once the baby is born, they always do. As for being ashamed, she shouldn't be. Where's the daddy? Is he supportive? Sounds like you are going to be her number one supporter so be prepared for child birth classes and the delivery. Even if she doesn't want you to baby sit all the time, just having you around a lot will her help her out.
Good luck you your friend!
2006-11-15 05:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by Lesley C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's horrible. In this day in age, surely there has been someone else who has gotten pregnant at a young age in your town. Lord help those parents. Eventually they'll come around. If not, it's time for your friend to start acting like the grown up she'll have to be and support herself. I wouldn't rely on my parents for anything.
2006-11-15 04:23:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋