Why do I suck at relationships?

Question

Met this guy, older than me, as time went on, I fell in love with him, he asked me to change my plans and be with him but I said no, then changed my mind, But when i told I changed my mind, he said no, he can't let me do that, that he was being selfish, He said he won't talk to me till next month. Not one single word. So what, Is this a break up or a time off. Each day hurts without him but he won't talk to me, I'm begining to think he's just finding an out from us. So, should I just forget him and move on, or should I wait till next month to hear from him, I really do suck at relationships, huh... I've gotten date offers and have turned them down. what if I wait for a month and find out he just wants it to end.. And then the by then I would have turned down dates that would have been nice to go oon.. Damn, Why is life so hard. What if I went on the dates and he finds out and thinks I'm cheating on our time off, Or is it cheating, complicted life, why can't it be simple

okay, it sounds dumb, I do talk to people but I just don't do anything more that would make me feel guilty, And if you' were in a situation like this then you would be frustrated, Ohh well, what do you expect from haters

Answer 1

He's cheating. He wants you to suffer for not changing your plans so he won't talk to you. But he has filled the void of being lonely with some other woman. Let him go and be happy.

Answer 2

Keep your options open...date a few of these other guys, it will make you realise exactly what it is you want in life.

You may decide that this older man is the one for you and that you will have no problems changing your plans or you may decide that your life will be better without him.

Mourning over the possible end of this relationship is not doing you any good, you need to be sure that he feels the same way that you do, this guy has given you a chance to live your life and decide who or what it is you really want and you are just sitting in the house waiting for him to call you.

Get out, have fun, date some other guys and then when the month is up your head will be clear...don't waste this time you have, this older guy is going to be wanting an answer about what you want to do with the rest of your life, you don't want to be regretting your answer 1 or 2 months, even years down the line.

Think hard about what you really want, you said no for some reason, then you changed your mind....don't be doing it again, it won't be fair on either of you.

Answer 3

It's a little strange that he doesn't want to talk to you for a month. I would try getting in touch with him to see exactly what it is that he is asking for and where exactly the line is drawn. What is not speaking for a month going to accomplish? It sounds to me like he is blowing you off. If that is the case, I would just tell you to move on. Don't turn any dates down if you are interested. If he won't even talk to you at all for a month, I don't think that would be considered cheating. When you are in a relationship, you communicate with each other. If there is NO communication, then I don't see it as being a relationship.

If you are feeling too guilty to accept any dates for the time being, tell them you are interested, but the timing is bad. Ask for a rain check. If things don't work out with you and your man, you can cash in your rain check.

Good luck.

Answer 4

If you really love him then you are doing the right thing by waiting for him and not dating other people. If you love him you should be sure.

Try thinking outside your own insecurities for just one minute. This guy asked you to be with him and you said no. Have you even taken a moment to think how that rejection must have made him feel? And when you changed you mind, well he probably thinks that you still aren't sure about him, and that must hurt too.

The month is probably just to keep himself safe, to see how he feels and to see if your feelings stay the same. He sounds like a sensible guy to me. If you really love him, then wait. And if he won't listen to you talk, write him a letter. Tell him you're sorry you said no to begin with, you were just frightened. Tell him you hope he'll forgive you and you'll wait.

Finding true love always means taking a risk. A month is nothing. See it out, and good luck.

Answer 5

If you really want to be with him, then why would you even consider date offers? You know, there's more to life than guys and dating. Who cares if you turn down some dates, more will come along.

Your guy was right, it was selfish of him to ask that of you. Sounds like you both just need to take some time to think about how you really feel. Get your priorities straight. But like I said, if you can't handle taking a month off without thinking about other guys, you probably don't love the guy like you say you do.

To answer your question directly, yes it would be cheating, neither of you have broken up with the other one, so it would be cheating

Answer 6

You suck at relationships because you are trying to hard to please them. First of all, that man is cheating on you. He was all about you coming with him, then all of a sudden he says he will talk to you next month. Don't be that man's doormat. Get a back bone and realize what you are worth. Make them come to you, not the other way around. Any man who puts off anyone for any amount of time, means they aren't into them that much. So, get ready and get your butt out there and meet some new people. My advice is to be friends first and see what happens from there. This will save you so much time and heartache. By the way, nothing is ever too complicated, it's just the way we get through those things. You will be fine if you just be yourself and not try too hard to get these guys to like you. Good luck and GOD bless.

Answer 7

You guys are on a break -- he wants to put some space between you guys so he can think clearly. That doesn't mean that you aren't going to ever get back together, it just means he needs time away from you to figure things out. Since you two are on a break, you should feel free to date other people - he probably will. The break is a good chance for you to see what else is out there, you might find out there's someone else who you're better matched for - or he might.

Answer 8

I don't think you "suck at relationships", they can be very difficult for all of us.

You both sound "confused" as to what you are looking for in a relationship. Communication is a large part of any relationship and if someone isn't willing to "communicate" with you, there's not much you can do on your own.

Life is only "hard" when you allow it to become that way. You aren't "cheating" on someone when you were never with them in the first place.

Don't sit around and "wait" for anyone, if he was "into you", he would be there!

Enjoy yourself, hang out with friends, enjoy yourself and stop worrying so much about "guys"! Life is just too short!

Good luck.

Answer 9

I can tell from reading your question is that you are too young for a serious relationship, When guys want you to change then say(I wont talk to you for a month) Tells me that they are game playing and IN-mature. You should concentrate on your education and building your future now instead of these silly relationships and when the right time comes all the pieces will fall into place for a real relationship.

Answer 10

He is doing what I would do if someone that you loved wouldnt drop what they were doing to be with you.

The thing is if you had asked him the same question he would have said yes in a heart beat.

Now he feels that you have only changed your mind because he is upset. but unfortunatly you have already lost a large chunk of trust in his eyes.

He just needs some time to sort his head out as his whole world has just been turned upside down by you. and he is trying to fiqure out where to go now.

A month does seem a bit excessive though !!!

Answer 11

Right, you don't deserve to be feeling like this!! I can't tell you what to do, but if it was me I'd get on with my life. I'd get out there and have time for me and time with my friends and family! If you meet someone nice you might as well go for it, but you don't need to go looking. If you both decide you want to be together in 1 month than your relationship starts from there, you don't want any what ifs?? make the most of this time apart xx