How do I help my husband get over his porn addiction?

Question

He is looking to his faith in God to help him overcome his porn addiction. We are both becoming stronger in our faith. He has made some big changes. He shows me that he loves me. Is there anything I can do to help him?

We don't have any porn in the house. He goes to the porn booths in our town. ( going to work late or coming home late)

Answer 1

Ten Ways to Break the Stronghold of Pornography

Before you go through these... have you looked at yourself under the penetrating light of God's Law? Have you come to a place of genuine repentance? Do you know that your heart is desperately wicked; that it's an enemy of God? Do you see your Adamic nature as a Judas living within you, raising his hands and crying "Master, Master," but at the same time betraying the Son of Man with a kiss? Then put that traitor to death. Never trust your own heart again. It cares for nothing but self. The instant gratification of thirty pieces of silver is better than Heaven's approval. It is self-serving, self-gratifying, and self-deceiving. It is "earthly, sensual, devilish" (James 3:15). Look at what Philippians 2:12 says about the "self" nature:

"...work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ)" (The Amplified Bible).

1. Would you ever take pornography to church and look at it during worship? You may as well, because God is just as present in your bedroom as He is in the church building.

2. Face the fact that you may not be saved. Examine yourself to ensure that Christ is living in you (2 Corinthians 13:5). See Romans 6:11–22; 8:1–14; Ephesians 5:3–8.)

3. Realize that when you give yourself to pornography, you are committing adultery (Matthew 5:27,28).

4. Grasp the serious nature of your sin. Jesus said that it would be better for you to be blind and go to heaven, than for your eye to cause you to sin and end up in hell (Matthew 5:29).

5. Those who profess to be Christians yet give themselves to pornographic material evidently lack the fear of God (Proverbs 16:6). Cultivate the fear of God by reading Proverbs 2:1–5.

6. Read Psalm 51 and make it your own prayer.

7. Memorize James 1:14,15 and 1 Corinthians 10:13. Follow Jesus’ example (Matthew 4:3–11) and quote the Word of God when you are tempted (see Ephesians 6:12–20).

8. Make no provision for your flesh (Romans 13:14; 1 Peter 2:11). Get rid of every access to pornographic material—the Internet, printed literature, TV, videos, and movies. But don't just stop there... you also need to begin to think about how high God's standard of holiness and purity really is. What the general public would have called "pornographic" just 60 to 70 years ago is plastered through your Sunday morning newspaper, the billboards you see on your way to work, and the magazines that line the counters at the grocery checkout. Even television commercials are filled with images that if you printed them off and stood in front of an elementary school showing them to children... you would be arrested. The fire is being fed from all different directions... not just those that the world lables as "pornographic." You must stop feeding the fire.

9. Guard your heart with all diligence (Proverbs 4:23). Don’t let the demonic realm have access to your thought-life. The Bible commands you to get control of your thoughts; read what Romans 13:14 says, "But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for [indulging] the flesh [put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature] to [gratify its] desires (lusts)" (The Amplified Bible - bold added for emphasis). If you give yourself to it, you will become its slave (Romans 6:16). Read the Bible daily, without fail. As you submit to God, the devil will flee (James 4:7,8).

10. The next time temptation comes, do fifty push-ups, then fifty sit-ups. If you are still burning, repeat the process (see 1 Corinthians 9:27, and 1 Corinthians 7:9). This is not just a random "get your mind off it" exercise. This produces a physical reaction that is the equivalent of what is often called a "cold shower."

Answer 2

Bless your heart dear. This a very common problem these days especially when the world facilitates this type of behaviour and Satan knows our weaknesses be it alcohol, drugs, some sexual perversions etc... They will be life long fights against them for us humans it is difficult but for God nothing is impossible therefore always, always do it Gods way.
Pray the Holy Rosary together it is a great weapon against vices
Go to confessions frequently especially when you fall to receive forgiveness and absolution for the sin so that the light of grace can return to the soul and to rid the temporal punishment due to the sins of impurity
Obey the first commandment with renewed vigour and zeal for you will begin to understand how much these sins offend Him
especially when he love us so very much.
Make a novena to St. Michael the Archangel to aid in the fight of temptations for there will be many. The Devil does not want you to go with God and he will tug and pull at you to sin. Satan has no power only if you let him.
Get some kind of blocks on the computer or software and most of all love him like you've never loved him before. Eventually he'll have an ill feeling at the sight of porn. God bless

Answer 3

Hi there,

I am glad that you are there to help him. This is a big problem and not a lot of people want to talk about it. With the internet it is really difficult to screen out porn.

Keep praying for him. That is the # 1 thing on the list. Satan has methods and schemes to keep us from our Christian walk. Spiritual Warfare is real and every Christian needs to be aware of how the enemy operates in order to effectively battle against him. Read Ephesians 6:10-18.

Here are some verses that address this issue:

Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-29 "You have heard that it was said "you shall not commit adultery, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble cut it off and throw it from you ...."

So obviously your husband shouldn't literally pluck out an eye or chop off his hand. However he should take drastic measures to stay away from access to porography.

If filters for the computer don't work, consider getting rid of it! This not easy in this day and age, but if that is what needs to be done, then do it. For me and my sweet tooth, this is the very reason I don't keep cookies, candy, ice cream etc.. in the house, I find it so much easier to stay away from that stuff when it isn't within easy reach.

There are other verses that speak to this issue. Being in the Word is so critically important for believers. Are there any bible studies in your area that you and he could join? I am in a Precept Bible study. They are inductive and indepth. Here is a link to Precept Ministries where you can see if there are any Precept studies in your area:
precept.org
They have a bible study called "How Can a Man Control His Thoughts Desires and Passions" by Bob Vereen

Hope this helps, hang in there & God Bless you and your husband.

-thank you derek b for your excellent answer -

Answer 4

Hi, I hope that you and your husband work together to overcome this problem because it truely effects both of you in a large way. I find it very comendable that you are both reaching out in your trust and faith in God to help you overcome this. You should be very proud that he has made these changes and wants to be pleasing to his heavenly father and to you. To find someone who truly loves you is a feat in itself. I have included a link to a site that I think you will find most helpful for you both.
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2003/7/22/article_03.htm
Please check out all the links in blue to the left of the article and read them also. Its messages are enticing primarily because they are fantasy and thus presented as more exciting than the real thing. Setting themselves up for unrealistic expectations leading to damaged relationships." Pornography has profoundly negative effects on people's views of sex and sexual behavior,
and interferes with the ability to enjoy and participate in normal marital intimacy. It really destroys trust and openness. Being viewed primarily viewed in secret, pornography use often leads to deception and lying. Mates feel betrayedfeeling that their marriage partner no longer finds them desirable. Pornography use causes serious spiritual damage. It can become a real impediment for an individual seeking to have a relationship with God. The Bible links sexual appetite with covetousness and idolatry. (Colossians 3:5)
The apostle Peter, urged Christian husbands to assign honor to their wives. A husband who fails to do so will find that his prayers to God are hindered. (1 Peter 3:7) The struggle to break free from pornography should not be underestimated, [A sex addict] literally cannot do this by himself." A prerequisite to successful treatment, according to Cline, is involving the mate, if the person is married. "It goes faster if both are involved," he claims. "Both are wounded. Both need help."
Perhaps you could seek the help of a trusted friend or qualified person in the place of worship to help you solidify your decision to remain a clean standing in your personal life and your relationship with Jehovah God.

Answer 5

Keep praying, God will show you both the way. He hears your troubles. And I pray that you both stay strong in your marriage because of this.


May God Bless You and Your Husband.

Answer 6

His willingness to change is a great indicator that he will overcome.
Like any other addiction, the will must be strengthened. Try a support group, maybe an on-line one. http://www.google.com/Top/Society/Sexuality/Sexual_Addiction/Support_Groups/ gives a lengthy list, choose one carefully and prayerfully.
God Bless.

Answer 7

Lose 50 pounds

Answer 8

Don't be afraid to flaunt what you've got, unless of course you are not as attractive as the porn stars he's addicted to.

Answer 9

Looks like you married a keeper...

Answer 10

xxxchurch.com