I want to get married in church, but I want to go in a simple dress and leave after the ceremony. My boyfriend on the other hand wants a little reception and me to get a wedding dress. How do I convince him that the meaning is still there, without all the extras
2006-11-15 03:28:17 · 27 answers · asked by inland102 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The two of you need to sit each other down and reach an agreement because you want different things. Together I'm sure that you will be able to reach a compromise, the thing is if you have a church wedding and invite friends and family they will expect you to have a reception afterwards. Or why don't you suggest that instead of having a reception you just take a few close family members and friends to a restaurant and have a meal, which would be nice. Also wedding dresses come in all shapes, and styles explain to him that you don't want a fancy wedding dress just something that is simple. After all it's your wedding day and as long as the two of you are happy with what you decide to do then that is the main thing. It's your wedding you don't necessarily have to have all the extras. Remember the most important thing is your life after the wedding
2006-11-15 03:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are so many good suggestions from other respondants
just do remember this day is for both of you & you being able to reach a compromise on this matter will be good practice for the rest of your lives together- I believe that is part of what contributes to a long & happy marriage.
a ""wedding dress"" is so called - as it is the outfit you have chosen to wear whilst your wedding ceremony is performed. wear whatever you feel comfortable with- that could be a very simple short frock ; carry a small bouquet; maybe even wear a small hat/fascinator or a 'party type frock' that you could wear again
after the ceremony you could just have a tea/champagne & cake get together with just family & or a few close friends. or just finger foods(snacks) -
book a plane/train ticket to head off on your honeymoon- that leaves only say 2hours after the ceremony- then the **reception** can only be for a short time
YES - the ''wedding'' is secondary to the marriage. you certainly don't need all the *hoopla* & money spent for the occassion to be special & meaningful.
2006-11-15 20:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought all little girls dreamed of a huge dream wedding, I guess I was wrong.....I think if this is how you really feel then just talk to him. He loves you right? Then he should completely understand, but I don't think that he should just do it your way. I think that you can come to a compromise. Maybe have the simple dress, and then do a Small get together like an after the wedding tea. Or get a big dress and have no reception. You must understand that he obviously feels like doing it big since it should be the only wedding he will have.
2006-11-15 13:18:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey it's your day, and it's his day. You're going to have to work something out together. I'm the same way though, and luckily it's not that serious to my boyfriend. I want just a pretty little simple dress and a simple ceremony with family and maybe go to dinner afterwards. Think about what time of year you're going to get married - Could you possibly have an outdoor wedding at the church? Would you compromise and get maybe a simple but full length dress? There's not alot of advice we can give you because none of us know you.
2006-11-15 14:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure there's a way to do that. People like to have a reception and ceremony to make their love public...and to ask for the support of the friends and families who will help you out of arguments, or tough situations throughout your life. So while the meaning between just the two of you is there, there is a big part of the meaning that won't be there. I think you all ought to compromise: you can get married in the dress you want and he gets a small reception.
2006-11-15 11:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by fatjunkcat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you tell him how you feel! But yo should also be willing to compromise a little too! Maybe a simple wedding gown and a little reception after. You could either have a small reception at your home or just have cake right after the wedding! That way you both have a little of what you want and have a memorable and special day!
Congratulations!!!!!
2006-11-15 12:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by Bulla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind the wedding is for you both.
It's not completely what YOU want or what HE wants.
This is the first step in a marriage,...
Compromise.
The "extras" as you call it may be the meaning to him.
To be proud enough of you (and himself) to have a small family reception and tell his family "This is my wife", "this is who I am, who WE are"
Why be selfish enough to take that away from him? If you really love him this should not even be an issue.
Trust me, it's small in comparison to the future "compromises" he may and probably will do for you.
This, is Love.
You want it simple, keep it simple (I'm all for simple)
a wedding dress doesn't have to have a 20 ft trail, it can be as elegant as an evening gown, or a 2 piece suit. It's really not that big a deal to "buy a wedding dress"
Maybe, if you compromise with him, he would do the same.
Instead of 200 guests go with 20 or 50.
It's only a dinner afterwards right?
Good luck to you both!
Congrats on the upcoming wedding
2006-11-15 14:56:58 · answer #7 · answered by arcticraven77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is difficult because he wants something that he probably looked forward to all his life. Imagine it was the other way around...
Wouldn't you want to have the bigger wedding. It's a special day that he wants to remember. You could compromise and do a little reception with a simple dress or a fancy dress and no reception.
2006-11-15 11:31:28 · answer #8 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this would be an easy compromise; get a simple wedding dress and have a very small informal reception afterwards. Certain things that may feel meaningless to you ARE meaningful to him, and it's only right if you respect his wishes. He's not asking for anything extravagant, sounds like he wants to "dress it up" just a tiny bit.
2006-11-15 12:24:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you 100%, and when I told my mother this, (as we were driving down the turnpike) she gave me such a lecture that I was wrong that we missed our exit by 20 miles. I'm not kidding.
You have to remember that it is his wedding too. If he wants a "little" reception give in. Marriage is about making life-giving desicions. Your desicion to let him have a "little" party will give him life.
As far as you getting a wedding dress, just get a white evening gown, and tell him it is a wedding dress-- he will never know the difference. Try the special occasion wear at Jessica McClintock (below).
2006-11-15 14:28:19 · answer #10 · answered by ee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋