My adult son is bi-polar. Help!?

Question

He was living alone for about 2 years. Then he had an "episode" He is in prison for a year for assault. He was diagnosed AFTER this happened. He hallucinates, imagines he can train to be an astronaut, or that Walmart is watching him. When he is on meds, he is fairly lucid but defends his ideas, anyway..
He can't afford to take his meds unless he is getting them free.
In prison or in custody he takes them. Otherwise, he forgets or starts feeling better,etc.
I have suggested he get on disability and he just shrugs.
He is 21, so we can't force him to do anything.
How can we help him? He will be getting out in July of next year, and we want to know what to do.
He won't leave Florida, since he loves the beach.
His dad remarried and moved to Arkansas.
I moved to OK about a year before he got in trouble.
His girlfriend lives in Florida.
Any ideas? Please be kind, since this is very painful to all of us who love him.

Answer 1

I have bipolar myself so I have some idea of what your going through. what you should do is contact a government agency. I go to a place called MHMR it stands for Mental Health Mental Retardation. They can help you in any way that you need it. They can give you advice on what steps to take with your son. They can set up appointments for your son when he gets out. Just to meet with him and talk with him maybe regulate his meds and see about having him see a therapist on a regular basis. I really hope this helps you out. I really feel for you and the situation your in. Good luck to both you and your son.

Answer 2

Based on what you have described it sounds more like your son is schizophrenic rather than bi-polar. I have an older step-brother who was diagnosed around the same time due to being incarcerated for some irratic behavior. He is now on dissability and realizes that he needs his meds to behave in a semi-normal manner. The state has also issued him a conservator to help him manage his money so when/if he does become erratic he won't lose his apartment, etc...

He did go through several episodes where his meds worked so well he thought he didn't need them too, and would stop taking them, end up getting arrested again and return to the psych ward in the hospital. The problem, as you mentioned, is that he is still free to choose to accept treatment or not. The state I live in offers assistance by way of counselor, etc. through the mental health agency which may be some help, but again only if he can see the value in accepting his illness and realize its nothing to be ashamed of. He is still very capable of living a semi-normal lifestyle should he choose to do so. I know its tough, and its a ongoing battle but hang in there! I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

I can sympathize with your problem. I dont know why there are so many mean people on here.
My best friend is bi-polar. She has been fighting to get her disability started for a couple of years. (she also has heart problems) Her bi-polar must not be as bad as your sons because all I ever notice is that she has mood changes from very happy to depressed. Maybe it's just that her meds are doing a good job keeping her under control.

Your son REALLY needs to get on disability so that he can get medical treatment and his medications for very cheap or free. It definately sounds like he would be considered disabled because he would have a hard time holding down a steady job with his condition. I think I understood you saying that he is in jail now? If so perhaps you could talk to someone there who could help him get his disability started and work out a way for him to get meds. He is going to have to have some sort of income when he is released if he's going to live on his own.

I wish you and him all the luck in the world!

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say you have few options. He's sounds like one of the many bipolars who get well and decide they no longer need their meds. It's a huge problem, and one that I suffer from time to time even though I think I have come to terms with having the illness. At 21, there's no way you can force him to do anything, and if he doesn't accept that he has a problem he isn't ever going to stay on his meds, even if he could afford them (and boy are they expensive).

I really don't know what to suggest other than to ask at http://www.crazyboards.org - someone there may have a suggestion. If he's not an obvious danger to himself or others, the the authorities won't/can't intervene.

Answer 5

There is not much you can do from the standpoint of talking him into taking better care of himself, or talking him into anything for that matter.

You can contact a lawyer and ask about having him legally declared incompetent, but I don't know if his history would be "bad enough" for a judge to agree. It might be worth a try. Then the court would appoint a guardian to make his medical and other decisions. You could ask the court to appoint you, or you could let them appoint someone unbiased.

Lots of people are in your boat - look around for a support group. Below are some websites for famillies of people with bipolar.

Answer 6

Since his girlfriend lives in florida and he is not willing to take care of himself, maybe she will be willing to care for him. She can collect the paperwork and fill it out for his disability claim. Then all he will have to do is sign it. Maybe she can drag him to his appointments. That is an awful lot for her to take on, and I wouldn't blame her if she refused.

Alternatively, if he is left alone and allowed to "hit rock bottom", maybe he will decide that it is time to take care of himself. Although, if he is already in jail, I'm not sure how much lower he can get.

Normally, I would advise you to let him make his own mistakes and just be there to help him pick up the pieces when he is ready to do that, but with his delusion, he may never get to that point. You are right, that you can't force him to do anything, but you can work with his girlfriend to get him to at least take his medications.

In New York (I imagine they are in Florida too) there are assisted living programs where adults with mental illness are living in a group home or apartment depending on thier ability to care for themselves. They have counselors who can help them keep track of their medications, insurance and disability paperwork, and teach them the life skills they need. Sometimes these places are called community residences or halfway houses. Perhaps you and his girlfriend can help him get into one of these programs. You can find out about them through the county mental health office, or possibly someone at the jail could help.

Answer 7

Is there a state insurance that you can get for him? We live in TN and there is TENCare that we have. The best thing that i know to tell you to do is to see if there is a crisis hotline in the Florida area that you can call and they can direct you on what steps you can take to get him some help.

Answer 8

I feel for your situation...unfortunately because he is 21,you cannot FORCE him to do anything that he does not want to do.If he was under 18,that would be different.However if he is a threat to himself or others,there has to be someone you can call to get advice,like the county or SOMEONE.I know it won't be easy,but don't give up!!Good luck!

Answer 9

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, FREE

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/

Answer 10

Is there any way that you can claim him and get him on your insurance? Maybe if you try that you can get them cheaper for him. If not, there's really nothing you can do, but try to convince him to get on disability.