Is honesty always the best policy?

Question

I have always believed in honesty, so when my boyfriend started asking me questions about my past, I told him everything. Now, there is one thing (that I am not proud of) that he uses against me every time we get in an argument. Most of the time it doesn't have anything to do with the argument, it's just that he knows it's something I regret and it seems to be the only weapon he has against me. I am beginning to think that this is going to ruin our relationship because I don't intend to have this thrown in my face constantly, especially since it happened long before I even met him. Now I am feeling like I should have kept my mouth shut and in the future, if I end up in another relationship, I will keep my past to myself. On the other hand, I don't know if I should punish a future boyfriend because this one is immature. He done much worse things than that, but he knows that I am ashamed of it and he loves to make me feel bad about. Should I keep my secrets after this?

Answer 1

You need to get a new boyfriend....... If this person truly cared about you he wouldn't be throwing your past up in your face. He's showing you he's really immature and he is manipulating you and your feelings. A true friend would never do this. I can tell my husband any and everything about my past without feeling ashamed or vunerable. We discuss everything and we give each other support in the areas that may bother us or cause us pain. This person doesn't care about you and you getting past your pain. He keeps bringing it up. This is a sure sign that he enjoys holding your pain over your head. "GET RID OF THIS GUY" Believe me, you will never find real happiness with this guy. You keep talking about how he uses your confidential information regarding your past as "weapons" again you. What kind of person is this. You had better get a grip and get this guy out of your life and find someone who will not judge you for your mistakes by constantly throwing in your face.

Answer 2

I did the same as you and told my bf EVERYthing in the past because my previous relatinoship was fall of secrets and I didn't want that....he never throws anything in my face specifically - but I know that in some ways it has caused him to have doubts in his mind sometimes which causes arguements over stupid things. I think the next time I will keep my past to myself - at least ALL of the details - Imean it's the past, right?

Answer 3

Have you ever looked at it this way.when you unburden yourself of your secrets,you burden someone else.Please leave this jerk.he throws the stuff in your face to hold you down.it is a power play.If any future attachments should ask you to reveal your secrets they are not worth your time.when you meet some one,you start off with a clean slate.any info.you divulge must be on a need to know basis.
cheer up love it only gets better from this point on.

Answer 4

It isnt the secret thats the problem, its your bf. He has no business taking something painful for you and throwing it in your face that way. Let him know you told him that to share your honesty and if he continues to use it as a weapon, then maybe he needs to find someone whos willing to take his disrespect.

Answer 5

i know exactly what you goin though. but think about it like this. If you would have not told him and he would have found out from someone else how worse it could be. I would tell him everything and tell him that that is your past you cant change it and if he cant get over it then he really dont love you after all. Your past is your past girl, i dont have the best past either but he had to get over it and we worked everything out and we are happily married now.

Answer 6

No honesty only works when everyone does it,sometimes it may work depending on the situation but usually being economical with the truth and passing the buck always works better.

Answer 7

in case you do in comparison to or have faith your companion adequate to be straightforward approximately your previous, your targets for the destiny or what you anticipate out of your contemporary existence, then the relationship is a lie. have you ever considered a t.v. tutor the place the guy has lost a job, and gets up , gets dressed and looks to pass to paintings. what's that?? i might wish my different 0.5 might enable me understand that he lost a job so as that i ought to be there for ethical help. mendacity approximately significant issues that should replace your existence is an insult to the different individual in touch. i'm no longer one to assert I actual have not instructed the occasional white lie, like how plenty I lost at Bingo or how plenty I paid for that handbag I in simple terms had to have, yet whilst it rather did no longer injury the different emotionally or financially, the occasional little bending of the reality can actual be forgiven in my e book. and ladies, do no longer tell me you have no longer executed that lol. i understand my hubby fibs whilst he tells me how huge the fish grew to become into that he caught, humorous those huge ones by no ability make it homestead!

Answer 8

NOOooooo!!!!!

people use the truth against us.

if I told you I had over 85 sexual partners you would run as fast as the speed of light. If I told you there were a few girls in my past you might stick around. it's called bending the truth. Don't lie but don't put all your history on the table either.

Answer 9

My parents taught me "honesty is the best policy".............then when I was older my dad said "you tell too much of the truth".............Now many years later I have come to know and understand even more what he was saying.............tell the truth, be careful with whom you share personal information.........and remember some people can not handle every detail!

Answer 10

We all have secrets. I do, and sorry i am not going to tell them all. I don't need someone to judge me for something that i thought was right. I would hate someone always throwing it in my face. Somethings are better left unsaid. Especially when they won't hurt him.