Is there anyone else horrified of losing a loved one?

Question

I am 26 years old and I have never lost till now a loved one. My grandfather died when I was 8, and he died in the same room where I was. When I woke up in the morning, my grandma had already covered him with a white sheet. I was a child then and I didn't undersand much...but now I know that it affected me a lot, and affected my whole life. 3 years ago my grandmother died,but we weren't close. However seeing her in the coffin kept haunting me for a year. I thought I had become mad. Since then other I've lost other 2 uncles, not so close neither of them to me. Everybody else went to see them before closing the coffin. I couldn't. It made me phisically sick just the thought of seeing a dead person.
I don't know what the problem is with me...if there is anyone who can give me an idea of how to get over my panic, I would appreciate!
Thanks!

Answer 1

I lost a parent to cancer a few months ago, and another family member just two years before that. I was in the room when one of my loved ones died. And that image haunted me for a long time. No, it wasn't because I was afraid of death. It was because at that very moment, I knew I would never see her again in this physical life that I know.

Death comes to us all, there's no other way of escaping that. But death isn't the end. We are created to be immortal beings - our soul lives on but our physical bodies do not.

What matters is if you're prepared when it finally does. Don't worry too much about those who have died. They have finished their race, but we who are still alive are still running. Make sure you finish your race well.

It's normal to fear death, but you shouldn't have to. The Bible teaches that upon death, our physical body “sleeps” (term used in relation to death - 1 Corinthians 15:6), but we continue to live. After we die, we immediately know our eternal destinies - our souls are either taken to heaven or hell (that’s decided by what we have done with our faith in Jesus). These are the final, eternal destinations of all people - based entirely on whether a person had trusted Jesus Christ alone for the salvation of their sins. Christ is the resurrection: John 11:25 "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies."

Answer 2

You have to accept the fact everyone dies. Death with a younger person is more traumatic than that of an elderly person. The reality is simple, we cannot live forever. It's natural for the elderly to pass on. Most will tell you they are ready to go after a fulfilled life. Most will also tell you they do not fear death. Therefore, there is not reason for you to fear for them.

I suggest you find a counselor or perhaps try talking to elderly people. You'd be surprise at the light they can shed. Acceptance is the main ingredient to overcome you panic.

Answer 3

I don't think its a bad thing not to want to view a dead person- its a choice. You seem to be feeling a guilt about it like its something you have to go to or do- you can pay your respects other ways. When my Mother passed I helped with the Memorial at the church, the stained glass window we raised money for- picking out her clothes (we put photos of ourselves in the pockets) but I didn't go see her in her casket, to me she's still out there watching over me and walking the beaches in her birkenstocks! She was such an alive person, why visit a husk that wasn't her? No one was offended and everyone knew how close I was to her. Its a preferance, your mourning is your own, the ones who have passed understand completely!

Answer 4

my wife & i lost my dad, her dad & mother, and our 21 yr. old son in 13 months. we go to visitations, no looking in coffins, and only go to a funeral if we think it's absolutely necessary. no one of any character would hold this against you. just stop "panicking". it's a natural feeling. hope that helps.

Answer 5

Yes i lost my mom , It was 3 yrs on 11/10/06 ..It doesn't get easy ! God Bless You!

Answer 6

No, death is a part of life. We have no choice, we all die sometime. To be afraid of something we have no control over is "normal" however if we let it paralyze us we have no life at all.