2006-11-15 02:19:43 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Stop supporting her. If she is living with you charge her for rent, utilities, and groceries. Just to let you know I am not saying drain her dry but just enough to give her a sense of responsibility. If she is attending college, contact the college to see what type of programs they have. Until she starts providing cash insist she does certain things to earn what she has there, such as cooking for the family maybe a couple times a week, if there are siblings tell her to take them to lessons, stuff like that.
Good luck.
2006-11-15 04:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best tactic to use is to go in with a strong defense and an even stronger offense. As so many have already suggested, make her pay rent so she will have to get a job.
This one is a scare tactic and works fairly well: Be prepared beforehand to know what to say when you tell your step-daughter that she needs to get a job. The scare part of it is threaten to kick her out, and kind of give an idea of no remorse when you tell her for a better result out of her.
This plan can also simply work with an ultimatum of getting a job in a certain amount of time, set by you AND your spouse, or the streets.
The last tactic is the plain and simple method of sitting her down and having a nice, civilzed chat about what you want her to do. Try to not argue with her, so as to accomplish something when you talk to each other instead of wasting time pointing fingers, yelling and crying (if you all are criers). Just be calm and rational with each other and with what you and her have to say.
I hope I could be of some help to you and good luck.
2006-11-15 07:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by nmk9543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got all the answers I would have given you 10 years ago, until I had to live through your situation. It's all well and good to say "boot her out", quite another to actually do it. Where will she go, what will she eat, will she be cold, get hurt, be victimized etc?
The truth is, there are no easy solutions. I couldn't just boot my daughter, so I totally cut her off. No phone, money, clothes, makeup etc. She had a place to sleep, dinner with the family, and that's it. No privileges to speak of, and no extras. It didn't take long for her to realize she needed a job. Once she had one, she was required to pay rent. Happily, she has matured quite nicely. Good luck to you in whatever choice you make.
2006-11-15 02:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by Renae 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first, I believe that you are under the wrong catagory, you should be over in Over grown heffas section, but anyways if she has finised highschool then she needs to go to college that age is the best time to get started in my opinion, before there are any children in the picture, Work study is also available with some colleges, she could be making a little money on the side of getting her education. Put your foot down before you be raising not only her but her three kids! Yeah, they tend to multiply when you are sitting around,and doing nothing but 8888888..... you add it up!
2006-11-15 17:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Twissta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TOUGH LOVE!!! That's your answer. Your step-daughter is in her comfort zone, tell her to snap out-of-it. Make her start paying rent, that will induce to her getting a job. If you got her a car already make her pay some of it back to you. or make her buy her own car. DO NOT HELP HER FINANCIALLY.
All this money can either help you out or perhaps you can start saving it up for her, and give it back to her as a present when she does move out on her own.
After she gets a good job, she will start to like $$$ and it will make her responsible for herself
2006-11-15 03:56:27 · answer #5 · answered by 2pretty4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she contributes to the household finances or leaves and mean it. My step daughter decided to quit college at 17 we gave her the same ultimatum so she got a job. She is now twenty and living on her own paying her way and suceeding with her life.
2006-11-16 07:12:21 · answer #6 · answered by zephs mummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a step daughter may be a hard situation to approach. Try to talk to her father and see if you can enlist his help in making her more responsible. If that does not work maybe you can assign her chores to do around the house during the day and insist she do them. Do not do her laundry for her..if you are doing it...if she runs out of clothes ..too bad..tell her you will show her how to do the things she need to know how to do...like laundry and cooking
2006-11-15 02:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by JIM D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pay for nothing . . . don't buy her food, clothes, don't let her use anything that you have purchased in your home. Tell her starting the 1st of December she has to pay rent. If she doesn't just kick her out. She's being lazy because you're letting her. She's not going to get a job unless she has to.
2006-11-15 02:22:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Asking her to make other living arrangements unless she contributes to the household. You don't say wether she goes to school or not, but if she does, you can insist she pay something towards books or other expenses, and I would certainly thing twice about paying any bills for her (like gas, car ins, etc...) But 20 is surely old enough to contribute to a family's nest egg.
2006-11-15 03:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick her out of the house and quit supporting her. As long as she has someone to fall on she will always be lazy. Tough love has to be the way to go in this situation.
2006-11-15 03:48:04 · answer #10 · answered by party_pam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋