My mother in law is so jelous of my mother she goes out of her way to make things difficult for us. If my husband asks his mom what time she is doing thanksgiving she will make it an hr before my moms to make things difficult. She made our wedding day a mess she would comment on anything my mother did and it would turn into a selfish comment
2006-11-15 02:03:54 · 4 answers · asked by BabyDolll128 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i am a mother in law. i adore my daughter in law. i don't know her mom very well at all. she sort of stays to herself. i have invited her to things but she declines. she just likes to stay home. i think it has something to do with a bad divorce.
i always consider my daughter-in-laws feelings. At the holidays i work around her mother's plans for the holidays. no pressure. i ask first what her plans are. that may come from being a daughter in law myself (wonderful-in-laws) but the holiday stuff drives me crazy. the back and forth and the guilt if your not there. after several years i put my foot down.
my advice: if your mom is being mistreated my the mom-in-law, speak up and don't allow it.
if u no her game tell her your mom's event time is different then it really is. like if its 3:00 tell her its at 12:00. but then that is not sticking up for yourself or your mom.
u could say that since monster-in-law is behaving so badly you are going to alternate holidays. or u could say this year we are going to my mom's and we will stop by you for dessert and next year we will come by you for dinner and my mom for dessert.
u could also tell your husband that u would like him to talk to his mom about this obvious game she is playing. he needs to let her know that he loves her and she is going to loose him if she doesn't knock it off. she is causing conflict between you and he and that is not going to fly anymore.
If you can honestly say that your mother has done nothing to deserve this treatment and jealousy then stand up and make it stop. now, before it gets worse. If it is this womans intention to ruin holidays for your mom. don't let her. u can say we were invited by mom first and that is where we are going cause i am not going by your mom 1 hour before. that is silly and it is intended to ruin my moms plans. i think the alternate plan is the best. let her see her game backfired on her and apoligize sweetly and then say we have plans at 3:00 so won't be able to come to dinner but would love to come for a visit later that day and have dessert. its not like u can eat 2 meals anyways. if your hubby isn't going for it then u need to tell him to have a nice time at his mom's but your going by your mom. just don't allow it to cause conflict between you 2. if your husband wants to make it a big deal then its on his shoulders. and remember the mom-in-law started the game and if your going to be a player then you should play to win,
2006-11-15 03:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kim N 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, my daughter in laws mom and I dont talk to eachother, we send christmas cards and that is it. of course my kids live 2000 miles away in the army from both of us and so neither of us knows what the other one is doing, but I care for this other woman, but I do take sides for my daughter in law when her mom is being a weirdo.
PS I am a WONDERFUL mom in law!!!
2006-11-15 02:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my MIL still has yet to cut the umbilical cord from my hubby! It's just great! Totally agree with you! Mine is the same way!
2006-11-15 02:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all about your husband he's the one who can controle this relationship
2006-11-15 03:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by esz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋