Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.'
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please? ' And a voice said 'You are.'
I went to the grocery & said, I want five pounds of potatoes please. And the grocer said, we only sell kilos. So I said, alright, I'll have five pounds of kilos please
I hurt my back the day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
What do you call a Gorilla with a banana in each ear? Anying you like, he can't hear ya?"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts".
2006-11-15 01:44:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I backed a horse today, 20 to 1... came in at 20 past 4. The Jockey kept hitting him with the whip and the horse said to him "what are you doing that for, there's nobody behind us."
2006-11-15 01:44:39 · update #1
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling film for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts". - Love this one! Thanks for the laugh
2006-11-15 01:46:21 · answer #1 · answered by chanda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Patient: I've had the song 'The Green Green Grass of Home' stuck in my head and I've been singing for days.
Psychiatrist: That's refered to as 'Tom Jones Syndrome'.
Patient: Is it common?
Psychiatrist: Well, it's not unusual.
Why did Mozart always have a hard finding his music teacher?
Because he was Haydn.
The plumber was obviously rushing as he was fixing my toilet, and I told him not to work so hard. He said he had a busy schedule and always has to bust his .a.s.s. to keep up. I noticed his back end showing between his pants and shirt and said "I guess you do, I see you've already got a big crack in it."
2006-11-15 10:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao Loved it. Aplauds for you! ... Yay! <3 <3 <3
2006-11-15 10:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
what's got two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog
What's brown and scream?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron
2006-11-15 09:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by brilioto 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol
10/10
2006-11-15 11:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha. this was great. i like the nuts one!
2006-11-15 10:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by missie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tee hee hee...fun!
2006-11-15 10:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by Coyote 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha
2006-11-15 10:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by babyfairypink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awwwwwwww... i can clearly see that you're only 4 yrs. old... awwwwwwwww... *STUPID JOKES*
2006-11-17 13:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by RE_FAN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hehe LOL ... hm.... a short joke though ;-)
2006-11-15 14:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by Pd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋