How do you react when your father kicks you while you are down?

Question

I am going through some personal problems. My ex and are trying to get back together, but he is calling me selfish. My daughter lives with him in another state and I am constantly worried about her. She is 14 and really needs me now.

In the meantime, I am living with my parents and when I discuss the issue with my Dad. He just puts me down. He tries to see me through my ex-husband's eyes.

He says that I "don't take interest in things if I don't want to, don't say goodbye before leaving for work, don't say Good Morning and don't prepare food properly. " He just makes me feel worse in general about myself and my life.

I try to ignore him, but its hard because I live in the same house with him. I stay up in my room but he does not like that also and makes comments about that. I am an adult and was living on my own but moved back home temporarily.

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

First off, if he's not lying about your manners you must begin to treat him with respect in his house.

You need to sit down with him in a calm and serious manner and explain to him how you feel about your problems, how you feel when he insults you and how you wish to make a change that is acceptable for you and him, but he must change the way he treats you too.

After you and him come to an agree, keep your part of the bargain.

Until you can get your own apartment, stay in your room as much as possible and away from him.

Remember - don't be too emotional when you speak with him.

God bless and good luck

Answer 2

While your living with him I guess you just have to deal with it. Try to get yourself together so you can move back out. Maybe you can work things out with your ex because I'd say if your daughter is 14 she does really need you around. My daughter is 13 - thats a hard age. Sometimes you have to MAKE things work for the sake of a kid. Good luck

Answer 3

Currently Ur a dependent, I would like to say one thing to every one. Please don’t be dependent. Even if you are M/F. try to stand on your feet. Once if you are a dependent every one wants to advantage. Once your father, later husband currently once again father, in future daughter. Every time you’re going to be a dependent. First of all try becoming an independent. Even if you are making small $$. It will bring you mental peace. U doesn’t need to answer to some once stupid questions. U will have Ur own world. Then if you visit your Dad, husband or daughter, sure every one will treat you in good manner, because you are independent. Good luck.

Answer 4

It would help if we had the whole story. Why are you separated and why does your daughter live with your ex. That usually doesn't happen unless you have some serious issues. Maybe, just maybe everyone else is right and you need to change your ways.

Answer 5

Yes I have a suggestion, Move out

Answer 6

You need to get self-sufficient and move out. This is no way to live.

Answer 7

yes get the hell out of his home and be a real parent to your own kid

Answer 8

Find your own place ASAP and get away from all the nagging.

Answer 9

As soon as you marry , you are no more welcome back to dad's house !
I mean you won't feel comfortable !
Better to think about your mistakes , correct them , and go back to your husband and daughter as soon as possible !

Answer 10

say good morning and goodbye...the rest, examine yourself and see if possibly some of it could be true. Use "I" type feeling statements to confront him about this. "I feel devalued and worthless when you say .... about me."