Muslims, Please help me with a question about my husband.?

Question

I have been married for 2 years. I love my husband very much and I thank Allah everytime I make dua for letting me meet my husband and for finding Islam. When I met my husband he was just my boss at work and we became friends. I wasn't Muslim and after work we would go get coffee and talk about religion, politics and other things as friends. After about 3 months of knowing him I converted to Islam and he was happy for me, he was a good Muslim at the time. But after 1 year of being married, he has started to do haram things. He is constantly flirting with girls online, not praying, he has made jokes sometimes that he is Christian (he stopped because when he was joking like that, he got very sick and had to go to the hospital and he knew it was punishment from Allah) constantly starting fights with me when I point out what he is doing is against Allah
Any advice on how to get back my pious husband who I fell in love with? Any discriminatory questions will be ignored.
Thank you..

Answer 1

Assalamu' Alaikum Sister!

Pray to Allah (SWT) to guide Him and turn him towards Him. You should also talk to him on your own and tell him that his actions are hurting his deen and you. Listen to Islamic lectures with him, either in a Masjid or at home on tapes. Encourage him to pray by telling him of its rewards and punishments. Tell him about the sin of flirting with the opposite gender (fornication of eyes, hands, etc.).
There is also this website you can go to and order a book called "a gift to bride". It's a really good book that can guide any married woman. And it only costs about $9. The website you can get it from is www.madania.org and then go to library.

There is also another website with a huge section on marriage.
http://lightuponthetruth3.tripod.com


PS: also you should consult a pious person aobut your husband declaring himself as a christian. He might have to repeat his shahadah if he said it in consciousness. Tell him all of his words will be accounted on the dDay of Judgment!

Inshallah, best of luck to you!
May Allah (SWT) accept your duas. ameen.

lovingly yours,
sister in islam

Answer 2

Sister I hate to tell you this but a Muslim man who goes out with a non Mahram women before marriage is a sign that his deen is not up to par. But you being a non Muslim at the time you may not of known that. I have some of the same issues. I met my husband to as a non Muslim but we met in a bar. Now I am trying real hard to do what is right by Allah and he is not the same man in the bar but far from were he should be. And believe it or not but alot of reverts that marry Muslim men end up like this. Sad but true.

There are difference of opinion on rather you can stay with him if he is not praying though. There is a hadeeth that says that the difference between a Muslim and a non Muslim is Salah. So a large number of scholars say if a person does not pray he is not Muslim and a female Muslim can not be married to a non Muslim. Do your research

Its hard sis trust me, I have been down this road and am still going though it still. Alhumdillah my husband is praying now but I know the feelings sister when your husband does not pray.

Sister I really suggest you seek advice with a shayke or scholar. Maybe have them talk to your husband, maybe they can talk some sense in him. But what ever you do, seek help in Allah and do it only for Allah. Your in my dua and please keep me in yours.

May Allah be with you sister. Ameen

Answer 3

AssalaamuAlaykum sis,
Ask your hubby if he really cares about islam in the first place, and no ,dont threaten him sayin youll flirt with men if he doesnt stop talkin to women cos you should never give up your good to correct somebody else, you cant really correct someone like that.
Tell him that not only is he going against Islam but hes hurting you too.
and remember sis this could be your test-fitnah-do not fail it!. Be patient and seek help in patience and prayer for allah is with the patient.
trust in Allah sis as long as you do right by Allah, you can never evr go wrong!.
Im so proud of you! your husband introduced you to islam and now you seem to want to practice it better than he does!.
Allah will reward you sis! hold fast!.
Also i hope you are aware that this yezrah whos answer comes right after me is someone who should be ignored.PLEASE Dont contact him(i think you know that but just in case sis) Whats forbidden in islam is forbidden thats it.
InshaAllah Allah will help you sis.Ameen

Answer 4

It is rather common in any religion but it is still not too late to repent from the wrong deeds as we know very well that the Almighty is merciful and forgiving. As a muslim, every word that we speak will be accounted for by the God. To what I see , it is rather a serious joke for your husband to say that he is a Christian. It will be automatically considered by the God as a betrayal. He needs to testify the two Shahada again. Talk and advise him in a soft and nice tone and bring him back to the right path . The only way is to get back to the daily prayers, let God hear him , his sincere
repentance insyallah God will forgive him.

Answer 5

I feel you're really correct on this detail. Some instances we're so targeted at the tasks of the females we fail to remember the guys. An excellent guy must be God fearing. This must now not simply be proven in his Prayers but in addition in his movements. This will reason him to miss errors and false impression. He must be compassionate closer to his spouse. Understanding her demands. He must admire her. Spend time together with her. Complement her. He must additionally support round within the family tasks. The high-quality illustration is given via the Prophet PBUH. And that is what Muslim husbands must aspire to be. As for the persons who preserve citing details from MUSLIM assets approximately Hazrat Ayesha Peace be upon her being nine or different such matters and declare this to be anything very very fallacious. I additionally inspire you to learn the identical MUSLIM assets and notice what Hazrat Ayesha mentioned approximately the Prophet PBUH. What his peers and enemies mentioned approximately his individual. It could support you in larger knowledge.

Answer 6

Hi there.. sorry to hear about what you husband has become.. As a muslim myself, i m sad to hear that. What u have done is the most beautiful thing...converting.
Maybe you could have a talk with him about his recent behavour that you do not like & as the head of the family, he must set a good example.Tell him that you misses the man that he was once before.
Sometimes people just got sidetracked & need someone to tell them that what they are doing is not right..
Your husband is lucky to have found an understanding, considerate & loving wife in you...Be patient with him and maybe it will change him sooner than u thought..

Good luck...

Answer 7

Sister, there is an old saying, you really don't know a person until you live with them, Sister, God does not expect you to be abused, This flirting with girls online is Not Christian like nor Muslim like. You can not save your husband but you can pray for him. Good Luck

Answer 8

Nice,
Great to c muslim like u. See don't take islam as rigid, islam is also flexible but fundamentalist make it rigid.

It is not haraam to chat wid a girl or flirt online but ofcourse this shld be avoided as it is a sinful act. But ur husband is more concern of u as he is only flirting online but never actual. You shld stop paying heed to it. sex is something which can never be checked. I wld advice u again not to pay heed to it but simultaneously keep him away from bad companies/friends. ask him more frequently about islam, ask him querries and sometime even give him certain notes of islam. I suppose, he may be desiring for sex often wid different style. Give him the bestsex u can. After all even ALLAH said in quran that -tumhari wife tumhari milkiyat hai tum jaisa chaho istemal karo (but wid some bindings too). So giv him best sex and do take my above said advice.
if u need help on how to do sex wid different style do contact me and don't hasitate and don't take it other wise. This is necessary or else it may lead to bad ending.
Anytime u can contact me for further help.
And do mail me back if u like my suggestion, asap.

with best wishes

Yezdani rahman.

Answer 9

well! sister remember Allah is with u,feel that strength, n He is the one who will guide u...probably ur husband's behaviour is a test for u,from Allah....i really hope he realizes his mistakes...best way i can think of,continue doing what u are doing already,politely point out his mistakes,n even better than this is,continue practising islam in every aspect of life infront of him,probably one day he realizes himself,ur being a good muslim can be the best way to bring him back(as u r person,who converted b\c of him,one day he will deifnately think about it...also ask for help from ur muslim frendz n family ...remember,Allah brings those to the right path who are really willing to,only his own willingness can bring him to right path..Allah knows what he is doing n Allah knows what effort u r putting in...pray for him
i will pray for ur husband n u inshaAllah.

Answer 10

You ought to praised and admired for your sincerity and fidelity. The Reward lies there in The Heavens for you . Presently, dua can and shall help. There are exclusive dua-wordings for this situation. Islamic center shall be of help. They are better said in Arabic-words, if a dua is from the Holy Quran. Keep your patience as your fort. Best wishes. I join you in your dua, from the Surah Furqan in the Holy Quran.