I only see him a couple times a week for and hour or 2, he is very busy with work and his daughters. When I do see him he is tired and we barley even have sex. Once per month we get out together. I've told him I need more companionship and love, he says I'm being very needy. Perhaps I am, but I don't want to live my life alone all the time. I do love him, he is a wonderful person, smart, kind and ambitious, but there are 3 other guys who I have been wanting to go out with even just as friends. These other guys are all very diverse and we have great conversations, there is attraction but it's not about sex nessarily. Can I remain with my boyfriend and yet see these other people on the side?
2006-11-15 01:27:00 · 12 answers · asked by 2by2 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There are lots of couples that stay together AND see other people, but you are going to have to accept that he might not go for it, and that you will have to do what you need first, and that might end up in you two splitting up.
First and foremost, tell him youre not going to cheat on him, but youre not getting enough love and attention, you understand its beyond his means to do so, and there fore, you would like to get it elsewhere, not leaving him, but finding someone to give you love.
Assure him you will always love him, and he will be the first one in your mind, but you cant ignore your needs on his behalf.
He might not understand, and you need to prepare for that.
Also, if he does you need to understand that this means he can see other women.
2006-11-15 01:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by mettophobic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't! He is obviously not right for you. WHY....he devotes his time to work and his children? But if your not happy your not. My guess is, that if you have ANY feelings of being somewhere else do not keep him on a string it isn't fair. Let him go until you find what your needing. But I'd becareful. You may find you do not get satisfied and you want him back. He may not be there. So it's honestly just not fair to have him on the back burner. And it's not fair to you to not be anything less than happy! My questions to you are...
Have you tried to be more romantic?
Have you completly been honest about all this, instead of being scared of hurting him?
Are you "truly" in love?
If you are then this wouldn't be there. And if you tried the other's maybe it is time to let go. But you cant keep someone on a string....to go out with other men "as friends". That can lead to other issues! Hope you understand. I know it is a tough decision but you have to do whats best for the whole picture...not just you! Remember there is kids involved that is one thing that would help me to come to a complete decision. Even though they are not yours....you still play a roll, do not hurt them!Ask yourself if he approached you with this how would you feel? Jealous? or ok with it?! Good Luck!
2006-11-15 01:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your current relationship is not fulfilling all your very reasonable needs and wants then you should completely end the current relationship. It sounds like you might need the security blanket of this familiar relationship as a safety net - and that's a natural reaction. But the absolute best thing for you is to decide what you want from a partner, what you expect for yourself, and then do NOT compromise. But don't make the exit from one relationship based on the promise of another - do what is best for you and what will make you happy for a long time. And do not fall into the psycho-babble where someone labels you as needy - so what - your needs are exactly that, yours. Own them, accept them, and demand them from your man. If he can't accept your terms then move on - just make sure you tell these 3 waiting in the wings what you want right up front, it will save you another heartache in 2 more years and gain their respect right away. Men do like a women who knows what she wants!
2006-11-15 01:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by NPB.Mo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come out and tell him how you feel . If he won't accept it then that is his problem. Don't make the mistake of not doing what you want just cuz he may not like it . Life is too short not to have some fun whenever you can .
2006-11-15 01:29:57 · answer #4 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not being needy this guy has no time for you i think you need to move on all together because he's happy were yall are at and your not do you really see yourself taking a break from that and going back. NOPE!
2006-11-15 01:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by WannaKnow 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you're not married to this guy ,you're his gf ,it makes a difference ,you can be with him and see other guys .But you have to know if he doesnt mind .Maybe if you hide it ,he'd take it as you cheat on him.Depends on how open minded he is and how much he trusts you .Anyway I think if he knows that leaving you alone most of the time caused this ,he might make some more time to be with you.
2006-11-15 01:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even as something like this happens ignore him. you already broke up with him and soon you're prepared to fulfill an total new more effective guy than your ex. Take my edvice. once you've any questions digital mail me. :]
2016-11-29 04:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by mrotek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can remain with your boyfriend and go out on a friendly date. Me and my boyfriend we go out on friendly dates with the opposite sex.
2006-11-15 01:32:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lil' Foot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just break up with him completely either you can be with him or not if you dont want to give him your whole heart you shouldnt waste his or your time..
2006-11-15 01:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you want an open relationship
that you think it would be better
so you can still see eachother
do your own things
but still get to know other people as well
2006-11-15 01:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by samantha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋