A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retired and fell asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own f...ng blanket!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.
2006-11-15 01:04:48 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
"Ma'am, did you know you were speeding?" the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
"He said you were speeding!" the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband again, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled back, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman then gave the officer her license.
"I see you are from Arkansas," the patrolman said. "I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man replied, "He said he knows you!"
Sam and Bessie are senior citizens, and Sam has always wanted an expensive pair of alligator cowboy boots. Seeing them on sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Bessie, "So, do you notice anything different about me?"
"What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday and the same pants."
"What's different?" Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots. Again he says, "Bessie, do you notice anything different?"
"What's different, Sam? It's hanging down today; it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down again tomorrow."
Angrily, Sam yells, "Do you know why it's hanging down? 'Cause it's looking at my new boots!!"
Bessie replies, "You shoulda bought a hat!"
2006-11-15 01:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by JohnRingold 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow... he moved in after purely 8 weeks? it particularly is kinda rapid. i do no longer think of the sound asleep association could be that vast of a deal good now, yet he definately has to get a plan for the destiny. If he has a courtroom-ordered visitation time table, there is no longer lots you're able to do. with a bit of luck, you are able to talk over with him approximately your concerns. It sounds such as you have the baby's hobbies at coronary heart. i could enable them to bypass spend a while with dad; as all of us understand, divorces are toughest on the youngsters. while they arrive back from the bypass to, ask them in the event that they enjoyed their bypass to & in the event that they slept comfortably. (do no longer grill them for records nonetheless, teenagers hate that.) If he starts off being a 'rolling stone', placed your foot down. i does no longer prefer my teenagers staying in diverse homes the two. permit him come p.c.. them up, yet deliver them abode each and each night. lots safer.
2016-10-03 23:52:50 · answer #2 · answered by greenwell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haahahahahahah Foolish man! He is disgusting!
2006-11-15 04:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by tyana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha so true! The farted bit was best!
2006-11-15 01:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by s4ucym1nx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very funny - reality strikes huh?
2006-11-15 03:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by flicflac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! That's why I'm not getting married.
2006-11-15 01:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Duck joke was better this s not bad though
2006-11-15 01:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by rachelsweet2001 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hahahaha:)
I was just wondering what an intricate personal question you're about to have:)))
Thanks, man:)
2006-11-15 01:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by venitoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tee hee hee...funny...now rolling on the floor....tee hee hee..tears.....my ribs hurting!.....Quality mate!
2006-11-15 01:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by Coyote 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
very funny
good job
2006-11-15 04:16:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋