I panic at the thought of being alone?

Question

Help , I came out of a relationship a year ago which lasted a decade. Met this wonderful guy a few months ago and now thats fizzled out on his part. Im not getting any younger and want marrage and kids. Im so scared of being on my own, the thought of going home to an empty house fills me with fear every night, i try to keep busy so im not on my own. I just want someone to love and to be loved. How do i stop the fear of being alone it makes me feel sick

Answer 1

I don't want to be critical, but I want to be honest in my answer.

I had this same fear after my 2nd marriage ended. Thank goodness I had a dear friend who saw what I was experiencing and helped me rebuild my self-esteem and helped me "find myself". I realized that I was not happy with myself and that I needed to be before I got involved again. This was not a quick process. And it was a lonely one. But I thank God every day that I went through it. When I quit looking and found out that I actually liked myself, I found a great guy. He and I are no longer together, but I found that I am a complete person without a man. This has given me a whole new perspective on life and relationships. Since then, I have met and dated a much higher quality of men. The man I'm seeing now is a wonderful and thoughtful man who is a good father and is concerned about the people around him. This is want I wanted and what found me.

I hope my experience can help!

Answer 2

I completely understand where you're coming from. I recently turned 34 and have never been married, not by choice. I've been looking for a long time as well and have had no luck. Like everyone has said, be patient and it will happen. I may be 40 by the time I find someone compatible, but wouldn't you rather be alone, than picking someone out of desperation and being in an unhappy marriage? Get busy helping yourself. See a counselor, talk with your friends, and set goals for yourself. If you talk to someone and have other goals to reach for besides finding a husband, it will take your focus off of it a bit.

Answer 3

I know you are feeling very anxious right now. But just know this: it's better to make mistakes when you are young because there aren't very many penalties; the consequences get worse as you get older. With that said, if you rush into something in order to fulfill your desire for marriage and kids, and to not be alone, you could end up making a terrible decision. Best thing to do is to focus on building your character and developing those traits that a good wife should have. This is your training ground and time for you to be a better person! It will be an exciting ride, trust me. Don't worry about finding a man - there are 300 million people in the US (~1/2 are men) - so you have plenty of opportunity. Building yourself up, though, will allow you to attract the RIGHT man. Not only will you increase in confidence, but you will be able to train yourself to know who is good for you and who isn't. Also, men love a woman full of confidence! Read this book: Secrets of an Irresistable Woman by Michelle McKinney Hammond (Amazon.com). This will get you off on the right track! Best wishes.

Answer 4

You have to stop looking and the perfect guy will find you. If you go out looking for love, you're gonna "settle" for the first person willing to help you have a few kids and then be miserable the rest of your life. I'd rather be alone than married to someone I didn't love, wouldn't you?

Answer 5

its always said we want good things but we do not know how to get them or keep them.start going to new places ,visiting different areas,be more confident and highlight your wardrobe.look good most of the time and smile.Very soon you will find someone..When you are at home scared just think of people who haven't got homes and are on the street..you will feel better

Answer 6

Maybe marriage just isn't in your future but kids still can be. Why do you have to be married to have a child? As long as you can financially support a child, why not have one? You will then have someone to love and someone who loves you and you won't be alone.

Answer 7

Not too many people want to be alone. Please be patient and don't rush your life. The right person will come along. It's hard, but time will heal and you seem like a good person. You will be happy one day soon.

Answer 8

I am all alone.until I meet Mr.Right.You will need to be patient and you will meet someone.Don't just grab the first person you meet and say I'm gonna marry this guy because it don't work like that and you won't be happy.

Answer 9

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me;

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Answer 10

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