i am 26 and settled down living with my partner he says he is ready for kids but i am petrified!! i am scared of giving birth i am scared ill be left on my own with a child if he decideds to start going the pub etc ....what is wrong with me is it really that bad???
2006-11-14 21:15:52 · 20 answers · asked by Pebbles 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
firstly, ignore the god botherers....!!!! marriage isn't a license to concieve and you'll not burn in hell for the want of a piece of paper.
i fell pregnant by accident and to be honest it was the last thing i wanted, but i decided to go thru with it. it is a wonderful, heartbreaking, heart warming,life changing experience. you'll know when it's the right time for you to to have kids. so much changes, the sponteneity of you life as a couple will go, there will be times when your bloke will be down the pub and you'll be sat seething at home!!! but, if you have a good network of friends/family etc then eventually you'll regain your independance, if that is what you want. so many of my friends have become martyrs to their kids, and 5 yrs down the line they wonder where the hell their lives went. motherhood is what you make of it. there is never a 'perfect' time, but there are better times if you see what i mean. yes, child birth hurts, then there are the sleeplpess night and the worry about the small bundle of joy, but all this passes!!!
do it when you feel ready, 26 is no age...
2006-11-15 02:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by emma a 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the fact that you have those concerns at all proves that you're not entirely ready. If you really wanted children right now, then the fear of actually giving birth etc, although still present, would not stop you.
Giving birth may be one of the most natural things in the world, but its still scary as hell and anyone who has ever been through it or is yet to go through it has a right to be a little concerned about passing a baby through a very small passage!
So I would say those fears are perfectly natural.
More worrying is your fear that you will be left alone - if you are that uncertain of the relationship, then it doesnt sound that strong to start with. Do you have friends with young children, who maybe had the same concerns you can talk to? Perhaps you should talk more to your partner and make plans for when you think you will be ready... in a year or two or something?
2006-11-15 05:38:07 · answer #2 · answered by Pington 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Being pregnant is wonderful, giving birth is painfull there is no use pretending otherwise. I have a four week old boy and had a long labour which ended in an emergency section, but to be very honest I have forgoten all the drama already, because the joy we felt at the arrival of our wonderful boy made it all worth while. even the sleepless nights and constant demands of a baby are all worth it. If your partner is ready for kids, I really doubt he Will leave you in, in favour of the pub. Talk to him about your worries .
2006-11-15 07:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be you just aren't ready yet. You're still young. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea for a few months and see how you feel then. I wasn't ready for kids at 26. By 28 I was.
Unbelievable that people are lecturing you about not being married!!
2006-11-15 08:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right to be worried, everyone does at the thought of having children. Talk your concerns over with your partner.
As for the thought of childbirth, eveyone is different but there are plenty of pain relief to help you.
You'll be fine, children are a wonderful thing..... Good luck xx
2006-11-15 05:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by Dannie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Partner"?
If you haven't considered marriage or taken the steps of commitment to get married you should probably work on that first. If you guys aren't married and realy REALLY "commited" then you do ricks a bigger chance of being left alone with a child. If you both can make that life long commitment, you'll be better off from the start.
As far as birth goes, it is really not as bad as people make it sound. Of course, everyone's experience is different. But if your pregnancy and birth is normal it really isn't too bad. The worst part, for me, is pregnancy itself. Feeling sluggish uncomfortable all of the time. But really, it is all worth it in the end. 9 months of blah-ness for a lifetime of reward... there really is no better compromise :-)
2006-11-15 05:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by asoobee 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
You sound more like you are just not ready for kids yet.
When that mothering instince starts to kick in, you won't be bothered about the rest.
2006-11-15 05:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by lisaandmax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
giving birth hurts yeah but that's only the beginning ..... seriously if u feel like that wait ... there are no guarantees that u wont end up with a partner who decides that he still wants his freedom while u are stuck at home..... u need to talk more with yor partner ...
good luck !!
2006-11-15 05:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by jizzumonkey 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don get preassured into things ur not ready for. if ur that afraid of birth adopt or foster a child and then when r ready go for it. lets face it ull fell better if u know that ur child is saved from another fate by u, its supposed to bring parent closer when kids know that.
2006-11-15 05:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by som1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its just nerves! Pregnancy is brilliant, I no I have 2 boys (28mths & 14mths)
Every women has a different birth story so its all not roses.
My first was quick and my second was long!
2006-11-15 05:24:10 · answer #10 · answered by Ms Dynamite 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋