I can't help but hate women who use men for a free meal ticket by getting pregnant out of wedlock and hate men who date and "marry down," (marry someone who isn't their equal). How do I change my ways, get over my anger, and become less judgmental?
2006-11-14 21:09:02 · 8 answers · asked by Opinionated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That's a tough one, and something only you can do with your own willpower and commitment. I think when you realize that what these people are doing is really none of your business and they are free to make their own choices, right or wrong, then you will become less judgmental of them.
2006-11-14 21:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by yanbarumuku 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have seen alot of this, or something like this has happened to you or someone you love. If u are seeing this happening right now to someone you know " I would come right out and ask them (in a casual way) find your self some answers! Talk to people that can help you get through this, a 1 800 crisis line, your DR. and realize that that's maybe what you are seeing in that person, but on the other hand that is not what he/she is seeing! Just to prove u a point, I've had a boyfriend for 4 years now, well he was suppose to be steril, huh! needlesss to say after 1 1/2 years of being off the pill (because I wasn't suppose to get pregnat!) I DID! Well the next thing ya know he's saying that I planned it and that I was after his money (ha ha) and wow! Never thought he would think those things! And of course they wern't true, It was just that he was scared! I am 38 and he's 45 and neither one of us wanted anymore. So I guess what I'm trying to say, is that" look's can be decieving, pregnacy's sometimes are a mistake, and yes sometimes people do get married because of this, but ya know what? I've seen people stay together and still are together because of this, They can teach one another about trust, love, or what ever may be there problem. So there is a solution to everything you'll see. Relize the next time you see this, maybe it was suppose to be this way! there's a purpose for everything I think. Hope I could help you understand a little bit better> life is to short to live for someone else, who may not even have a problem, it's just you that thinks they do> sunnydays
2006-11-14 21:30:08 · answer #2 · answered by sunnydays 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you put it across makes it seem really "black and white" when there is actually a lot of grey in the middle!
Firstly who said it's the woman's fault she got pregnant - a man is quite capable of using protection!
Secondly - men who "date and marry down" who decides who is someones equal and in all of that - where does "LOVE" feature.
Its really easy to sit and judge a situation but when you sit a look below the surface you realise that "these" people are human and sometimes you can not fathom the matters of the heart!
As far as getting over your anger - you need to identify why you are angry - this matter is obviously close to home and the two are related! Address the issue the best way you can - talk to the person or people involved!
Being less judgemental is a little trickier but just put yourself in their shoes!
Hope that helps!
Xx
2006-11-14 21:32:42 · answer #3 · answered by honeyed_dimples 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow the Ba'Hai faith's method of pointing the accusing finger towards yourself; if you dislike something about another, first overcome the urge to break the moral code yourself and remember that perfection doesn't exist in humanity. You want other people to follow your moral codes, lead by example...it's an awfully hard road to follow!
2006-11-14 21:13:18 · answer #4 · answered by wetdreamdiver 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem myself, i paid the price. Think about how people feel when you judge them so quickly or even at all. Or how you would feel or do feel when you are judged. It is horrible to have to think of every little move you make because you know someone is going to judge you. So yeah the best way is to walk in their shoes. If you feel like you are about to judge them, make excuses for them, whether you think they deserve it or not, nobody deserves to feel that way.
2006-11-14 21:19:18 · answer #5 · answered by tami_6996 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you recognize your own behavior and that you want to change. Advice: read the New Testament books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, & John. They encapsulate most of what Jesus, himself, taught, and directly target that kind of behavior. Best wishes.
2006-11-14 23:35:36 · answer #6 · answered by tcom1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy a Dog!
2006-11-14 21:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give a dam.
2006-11-14 21:14:04 · answer #8 · answered by wolfgang4862 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋