Help me please!
I've fallen in love on-line very strongly and he told me he liked me very much as well. And then as I loved him so much I told him I will do my best to come to him to his country to continue my studies. He got afraid of this and little by little stopped talking to me. I stuggled very long and hard and then as I've missed their accent etc I decided to write to another guy from that country just to know each other. We started talking and he appeared to like me very much. At first I didn't like him that much because I still liked the first one but then little by little I started to like him very much too!!! Not so much as the first one but anyway a lot! And when I started to like him more and started to want to chat with him everyday a lot he has told me the same thing as the first one:"Don't get so addicted to me. We live so far. Maybe one day... We'll see... But now let's just enjoy chatting." Believe me that's exactly what the first one has told me too!!! What will you advise me to do and to think and how to behave? Am I dependent? And what can I do with this? I've never seen any books on this and I don't think there are good specialists where I live so I can't go to a doctor.
But really what can I do to become less dependent? As long as I remember myself the more I liked a guy the more dependent on him I was and the more I liked a guy the quicklier he ran away! I could only stay for a long time with those on who I wasn't so crazy... But I always thought that if they love me they want the same to be with me all the time.
Thank you very much!
Maria
2006-11-14 20:27:14 · 7 answers · asked by Maria 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
chatting on line feels like a safe way for you to fall in love, but it is not. leaving a country, and friends behind to live with a person you really don't know, is dangerous unrealistic and not a good idea. you dont really know the person. some Internet dates work , however, but are more realistic, such as a safe place to meet them, and a period of time were you can spend time with this person, such as your country, and have your family and friends around you to support you. i have seen from your other questions, that you tend to push prospective relationships away, and u tend to scare males because you want immediate gratification in a relationship. you have to think of yourself first, what is best for you also. you may have issues with self esteem and a talk with another person, or councilor may help. don't overwhelm the first person that shows interest in you, as they feel you are smothering them and they will back away. how to act or behave? just be yourself but don't act needy. you are probably a nice person, and a lot of people will like you, but if you want a relationship take your time. not every male u meet wants the same things u do. you may be making the mistake of friendship and love, they are two different things good luck hope this helps
2006-11-15 00:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by zeek 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to interact with people in the hear and now.
Chat is fine to begin to get to know someone, but then you have to talk to them by phone and then actually meet them (in a safe, public place).
Chat alone does not tell you everything about a person, especially a future spouse.
I do know what you are going through though. It's very easy to fall into a trap where you feel from a distance, that someone really likes you just because you like him or her.
It's a good sign that you asked someone on here about this issue.
2006-11-15 04:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have parents, a social worker, priest, rabbi, or any mature confidant that you can speak to.
It is not a good thing to make friends over the Internet. In fact it can be very dangerous. My heart goes out to you, as you really sound desperate for love, and friendship. BUT YOU SURELY WILL NOT GET IT ON THE INTERNET.
Please take my advice. Seek help from any of the above people I mentioned
2006-11-15 04:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is easy to "fall in love" online, because you only get a tiny, tiny part of a whole person and that part can seem charming, can write well, can pay you lots of attention etc.
This is not real love.
I think you need to give yourself more attention & find ways to be more present with yourself.
You don't need a specialist - just to talk to a good counsellor.
There are some online counsellors, which might be a good start, but you also need to be able to talk to people face-to-face.
gl!
2006-11-15 04:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by echo c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, FREE
http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/
2006-11-15 13:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by LIz 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop pushing him so hard, some guys are afraid of forward women
2006-11-15 04:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by airpolicejohn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
!!!
2006-11-15 07:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by reginuta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋