My son came home today in tears. He is a very sensitive boy and not aggressive at all. Adults love him because he is very respectful and endearing. A boy at school calls him, as he says "special needs kid". This really confuses him because he does have a brother that is special needs (Autistic). This kid doesn't let up either. He says this boys says he's different from everyone else. He does tend to get picked on because he doesn't defend himself because he says he doesn't want to be like them. Yet, he gets upset. He had a rough couple of years trying to deal with his ADHD and now he is doing great in school but not so much in the social department. Am I overreacting here because I don't want him to feel that way. It breaks my heart that someone who is so caring and always worried about how he makes people feel and he doesn't get that in return really effects him. My boys is extremely family orientated. His fam means the world to him and his friends to. How can I help him?
2006-11-14 18:24:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
My son has a Dad (we are separated for 6 years now) and my boyfriend of 2 years has done wonders for him but you can't teach a kid aggression.....can you?
2006-11-14 18:41:51 · update #1
Maybe your son should enroll in a martial arts school. I know when I was in high school I was really shy and other kids picked on me because I was an easy victim. My parents made me take lessons in Tae Kwon Do, and it worked wonders for me. The point of learning a martial art is not to be able to beat somebody up, it just gives you more confidence and self-esteem, and when you have those things you carry yourself in a different way and other people, like this bully, can sense that you're not such easy prey for them. I wish you and your son all the best. He sounds like a great kid.
2006-11-14 21:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work at a school and have run across this problem often enough. There have been times when a child at school is being picked on and doesn't tell anyone at school. So that could be what's happening here because chances are if he did tell someone, well hopefully the problem would've been dealt with. What you should do is talk to his teacher and let them know what's going on. The teacher should then tell whomever works with him to keep an eye out for the problem. If the problem is happening then an adult should intervene and take care of it. At my school if parents come in looking to talk to the bully or their parents we won't allow it and it's probably like that at your son's school too. Also, you don't want to say fight back because that's what we try to teach them not to do. Maybe after letting the teacher know you can tell him to try to tell the bully one on one how it makes him feel when he says these things. It's difficult to do but I have kids do it all the time and 9 times out of 10 it works. A lot of the time kids don't stop to think about how they're making someone else feel but when they hear the child say "I feel ____ when you say/do this to me" it will usually hit them and then they show remorse.
2006-11-15 05:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by aegirl482 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is also bullied at school. It seems that if a boy is not tough and aggressive these days he is picked on at school. I've spoken to teachers and have had team meetings with the principle and support staff. I show my face at school as much as I can and I make a point to stare into the eyes with the meanest face at the bully. Get tough, demand the boy be suspended or punished for bulling. You are you son voice, stand up for him. It does get better as he gets older. Trust me, I've done my share of crying. It's very difficult when your children are hurt. Get you son involved in extra curricular activities to make him feel good about himself and boost his self esteem. Don't forget to tell him everyday how special he his and how much you love him. Good luck
2006-11-14 23:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by carmieaa 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow- that's a tough one. You probably can't remove him from the school and you can't be with him all day. I have to ask though- Does he have a father?
That may be what's missing. Maybe you could seek out someone around. An uncle or something. They could probably give him some positive reinforcement.
But- if that's not possible- let your son know it's okay to defend himself.
Don't worry TOO much. Don't get neurotic. Obviously, you care about him, but I think some male influence would help.
2006-11-14 18:39:00 · answer #4 · answered by Isaac 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact your son's teacher and explain the problem and how it's affecting your boy. The teacher, then, will probably have a private talk with the bully and things should improve. If not, talk with the school principal and/or the bully's parents. There is no excuse for a child having to feel intimidated by other children.
2006-11-14 18:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by RG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy being a mom is it? We never want to see our children hurt or teased. The thing is that all of us get teased at some time in our lives. As parents, we need to teach our children to be resilient. We need to build their self esteem and teach them how to deal with bullies. We all work with some bullies in our jobs, deal with them in our neighborhoods etc. Build his self esteem so that when someone says something to him........he can bounce right back.
The advice about the school is warranted. Tell them. Every child has the right to be safe in school and should not be bullied.
Ask them questions such as:
what type of anti-bullying classes and techniques are they enforcing to make their school climate safe?
What are the consequences for a bully ...who repeatedly hurts children?
What classes and preventative measures are being taken?
Are there character ed. classes?
Does the social worker teach small groups of children and provide anger management classes?
Keep going with the questions....and hold them accountable.
2006-11-15 11:03:16 · answer #6 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report it to the school or your son might not wanna go to school anymore after awhile. Don't ask him if you should, just do it. Your son doesn't have the problem, or need to change (I.e. defend himself), the bully has the problem.
2006-11-14 18:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friends mother went to the school and spoke to the teachers.
Or you could actually confront the children.
2006-11-14 19:09:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like me. hes gunna have to tell the authorities at his school. try to make a small deal out of it. (check out my bullying site, its my profile name)
2006-11-15 06:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋