I have been seeing a married man for three years on and off. For four months we lived in the same city and saw each other once a week. Then, I moved back to australia for a year, and he visited me once. Then I moved back to Japan but to a different city. We see each other every two and a half months or so. We really love each other and have an awesome time together. He says he hasn't slept with his wife for years. Most of the time I am realistic with myself, but sometimes I fantasize about him leaving his wife and asking me to be with him for good. Am I nuts? Do I have a chance?
2006-11-14 17:58:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
doesn't sound like it to me - otherwise he would have already done so. You'd be wise to look elsewhere and set higher standards for someone who will treat you right and wants to be with you for you - good luck
2006-11-14 18:20:21 · answer #1 · answered by leos1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Will he leave his wife?:
When I read this question I knew what it was about before I read it. I admit, I was filled with a lot of laughter because of it.
First off, what you're doing is wrong. Yes, you may know that already, but obviously you don't care. You are involved with a MARRIED man. Do you not think of the consequences of your actions as the "third party"? Have you ever thought about how his wife feels? I'm sure you thought of those questions before and probably don't care. Well, this may add a change to your perception.
I've known quite a few couples who have had emotional as well as physical affairs. It all ends up with the same problem. They leave their spouses, get divorced and marry the woman or man they cheated with. Things are great and wonderful. They start having children and build up a great relationship with them. But - there's always a but - something begins to change. Soon one spouse comes home late, they have secret telephone calls, they say they need to work overtime or over the weekend for meetings. Do you see what I'm getting at? The cycle never ends. I've honestly never been through it, but I have seen my closest friends and a family member go through it.
The truth is, you should give up on him. If it so happens that he and his wife get divorced, then you can start a relationship - NOT DURING THE MARRIAGE. But, if you don't think it'll happen to you of what I mentioned above, think again. You or he will end up not being satisfied with the marriage and will have an affair. He more than you because he is currently married and knows the tricks of the trade.
My advice: think of the consequences on the OTHER people you are affecting. It's not just you, also him and his wife. How would you feel if you were in her shoes? The reason why he hasn't left his wife is more likely kids or that he may still harbor feelings of love for her. If they do have kids, the damage is done. Kids are not stupid and if you were to end up getting married, they will have ill feelings for you. The kids pay, as Dr Phil says. I hope that you choose wisely. For your sake as well as your future's sake if he does leave and would end up with you.
2006-11-15 02:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Shakti Svātantrya Isa 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's got the best of both worlds. gets a little on the side every once in awhile yet goes home and has his wife cook dinner and do his laundry. He hasn't said anything about ending it? Then no. Everything is wonderful because you don't see each other often ; when you do see each other your happy and don't have time to get on each others nerves. move on and find yourself someone who just wants you
2006-11-15 02:06:25 · answer #3 · answered by uknowme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No he won't and you know it. I believe if a man wants you then he'll stop at nothing to have you. And if his love is true, he would have left his wife long time ago. Be kind to yourself - you deserve better.
2006-11-15 02:12:08 · answer #4 · answered by jes_evelyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can't believe you have been together for 3 years if i were his wife and i found out about you your @zz you would defiantly know i had been there, when he tells you there is no sex he is probably lying to you, Does he have kids? your best bet is to move on if he was going to leave her he would have done it 3 years ago.
2006-11-15 02:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he won't. If he was going to he'd have done it already.
Get a grip, woman; you're still living this fantasy and he will not leave his wife!
2006-11-15 02:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i doubt it.hes got what i call having his cake and eating it.why should he leave a comfortable home when hes got you when he wants .ditch him girl and find a new man that loves you
2006-11-15 02:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by pat sy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no they never do. you are waisting your time. end it quick and get on with your life
2006-11-15 02:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by john86seth02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋