My brother just go married 7 months ago. I only go over to their home when I am invited, but every time I go it is dirty. The carpet has stains, food is out from the night before, kitchen floor is all sticky with black stains and crumbs, trash smells, toilets are green and black inside the bowl etc.......Last time I got on my hands and knees and cleaned the kitchen floor with pine sol. There was no mop. His wife said it was dirty because she baby sits, but how many day cares are so dirty? I don't want to hurt my brothers feelings by putting his wife down. Plus they just had a baby a months ago. Still my baby is 7 months and my house has never been so filthy.
2006-11-14 17:08:33 · 13 answers · asked by Lori Pie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My suggestion is to go over the night before for coffee and clean up. That way you will know that the house is clean and you could enjoy your dinner tomorrow. I'm sure they would love the help and maybe they could find some time to relax too.
I read the other answers and some of them are very good. This is YOUR FAMILY. To what lengths would you go for them. Love has no boundaries, and we are parents forever! Even if it's to someone Else's children.
Thanksgiving is all about giving, so give of yourself.
God Bless you and enjoy dinner with the family.
2006-11-14 17:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by Recovery Diva 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your sister-in-law may be having a hard time adjusting to all the work of a home, a new marriage,a baby, baby sitting. The relationship is the important thing here. How about a housewarming gift to take with you when you offer to help her the DAY BEFORE the big meal? A mop, a mop bucket, cleaners, disinfectants, trash bags, some nice plug ins. Tell her you know how hard it is to get a routine going and you'll help her clean and cook. Take a play pen for your baby and enjoy the time with your new sister-in-law. Maybe she just needs to see how it's done. At any rate, you will be building an important bond and doing everyone a favor at the same time.
2006-11-15 00:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The most diplomatic way to handle this would be to talk to your brother. Don't put down his wife, but tell him that he needs to help her around the house until she gets more acclimated to having the baby. It could just be that she's a slob, and would keep her house in that state anyway, but, there's NO reason why your brother can't help, regardless. (Unless he's handicapped, in which case, my apologies.) I'm assuming (and I could be wrong) that your sister-in-law is doing most of the child care chores, so it's only fair that he pitch in. That being said, I would hesitate going over there if you thought that the house would be filthy when you went over. I couldn't eat there! But, whatever you decide, DON'T clean the house again, it's not for you to do, even though you were just trying to be helpful.
2006-11-14 21:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think of it is unusual to co-mingle households at Thanksgiving dinner. honestly i have seen it lots. If human beings are into the spirit of the vacation, or a minimum of impartial and desirous to loosen up, it fairly works tremendous. that is more convenient than on the openly religious or political vacation trips. absolutely everyone knows thankfulness. Who is attentive to, human beings could connect in unpredicted techniques and develop into friends. The family individuals lines are a diverse project, in spite of the actuality that. i imagine that's a count number of your judgment: will the rigidity be disregarded, be reported amicably, or develop right into a foul dispute that ruins the vacation. I even haven't any thanks to understand, yet because you and your sister were speaking about the strained relationship, possibly you'll make this artwork?
2016-11-24 20:26:55 · answer #4 · answered by ciprian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
order her a maid service for 3 months ( that way it will take you through the holidays) . say it's a Christmas present. make sure the maids clean the house the day before Thanksgiving so it wont be dirty. Then go eat and have a good time.
2006-11-14 17:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by Danielle 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she is having a hard time couping with new baby and her job and home life.
why don't you offer to help her clean up for the dinner if not for her but for the kids, your brother and your family?
p.s. maybe suggest to your brother to pitch in to help out around the house - he lives there too
2006-11-14 17:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol! Sorry but I just wouldn't trust the food if the house is dirty..and you'll be paranoid looking for bugs. I agree with the others..just make up something and have them come to your house.
2006-11-14 18:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by Meia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should still go! Would you walk on dirt to see a wedding? Same difference. If you're worried you might get food poisoning, you might suggest that everyone brings their own side dish and paper plates... Then you can silently avoid her dishes.
2006-11-14 17:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have dinner at your own house and invite the clan over. I wouldn't be able to eat in a filthy house.
2006-11-14 17:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't spend your family holiday where you aren't comfortable. I've been in your position before and have turned them down politely and asked if they could come over to my house instead. Make up some good excuse.
2006-11-14 17:46:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋