People who let people abuse them are stupid!?

Question

I'm just writing this as a response to every question i've seen on this site where someone is complaining because someone beats them. GET A GRIP, STOP LETTING THEM HURT YOU!

People who let people beat them are just as bad as the people who beat them!

Answer 1

Amen!

Answer 2

Generally people who are in an abusive relationship have been so torn down emotionally, that they don't believe they are worth any more than what they receive. Or they are scared sh!tless that they will endanger their lives or those around them if they even try to leave, which has been proven correct unfortunately time and time again.

The people being abused are in NO way to blame, people that abuse others have a mental or emotional issue that they cannot or will not deal with, and as a result take their frustrations out on another person.

Nobody 'lets' someone beat them, you should go visit homes for the abused, (though if you are male, you will not be able to enter female homes, as the women are that petrified, men are simply not allowed in), and speak to people who have been there, and tell them what you think... I'm sure they will be able to explain more so than I on the pure terror they lived through, and the reasons why they 'let' themselves be beaten.

Answer 3

People who let people beat them are just as bad as the people who beat them?? Not only is that simply a sick statement, but it shows how completely ignorant you are about abuse.

You assume that it's as simple as walking out the door. For those who have been abused, they know that is not the case. Many of these people have their lives threatened and/or their families' lives threatened. And many of these people know those threats will be carried out. So more ignorant people say "call the police." Having counseled many abused women, this also has done nothing many times. Since it's considered "domestic violence" or just a "domestic altercation", it's not always looked at seriously. A warning might be given in many cases...which winds up leaving the person in even greater danger. Why do people come online to complain about it? Because the internet provides anonymity...and allows them to feel "safe" for being able to speak up against the abuse without fear of repercussion. That is, until you posted this "question."

People who blame abuse victims are just as bad as the people who beat those victims.

Answer 4

You are such a funny person...It must be amazing to be you. I guess you were blessed in such a way that you can't even notice how small and ridiculous you are. First of all who has died and made you God because if you are God I have a bone to pick with you. Honestly I am messing with you because there is no way someone could have written what you have written without trying to make someone laugh and you did just that. You made my day because now I will go to bed feeling so lucky for being me because I would have such a hard time living day by day with such a small brain and an empty soul like yours. I just hope you re-read yourself and that you pray really hard that nothing ever happens to you because you would be so ill equip to deal with real issues of life that determine if you are made to be a hero or not. Little person that you are. Please reflect on how shallow and empty you sound. You should consider yourself lucky that no one knows what you look like because you would see alot of people staring at you with sincere pitie. I hope you will grow one day and be a little more human and a little less animal. Be good be nice and be safe

Answer 5

Gary.....I do not consider my self as stupid at all. And I am sure not as bad as he was . So don't you even go there. From the way you talk, you have no clue as to what goes on between two people that are in a situation such as abuse. I do, I lived that way with my x husband for 16 years and then filed for a divorce on him that took a year and half to get. I tried hard to get out of it and wanted out of it. He brain washed the heck out of me. When I ran for my life he came after me and with a gun as well. I could tell you a lot of stuff that happened to me while I was with him, but I don't have that much time nor would you care to hear my story as to what all he done to me. But I will tell you something else that you probably don't know about a person that has been abused, that abuse we go threw does a lot of damage to us, more than anybody can image that has not gone threw it them selves. We are damaged for the most part for life. So I really hope that you are happy for running all of us victims down. You have made me feel so good about my self now! NOT. Also with your question here and your statement.......did you know that that is also a form of abuse? Thank you..an x abusee!

Answer 6

People who judge other people without having been in the situation themselves are stupid. I personally have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I understand why some stay. They feel like they don't have anywhere to turn when they do leave. Don't get me wrong, I don't think aperson should stay with anyone that doesn't treat them right, I think if someone is abusing you it is best to leave as soon as possible. If people were more supportive of the victims, they would be more apt to leave a bad situation.

Answer 7

What you are doing is called "blaming the victim." For all the obvious reasons they may have to end the relationship, there can also be many subtler reasons why abused partners choose not to leave. For example: some people may be economically dependent on their abuser, some may worry that the abuser will come after them or their children, some may feel it is their religious obligation to stay with their abusive partner, some may feel they are bad people and deserve the abuse, some may think the abuser can change, etc.

Answer 8

...... no way in the world...... People who are in that situation have usually either been raised in very dysfunctional families,where basic caring mechanism's were either sparse or non existant, or their parent's familial skill's were simply few or inadequate to cope... Factor's such as drug's, alcohol, brutal father's, or whatever the case may be, can all seriously impact, the mind of an innocent child.... A badly damaged child, from a background such as that, simply turn's into tomorrow's, damaged teenager/ damaged adult,.. and the cycle simply repeat's itself....Some of them are so badly damaged, they'll literally throw themselve's at anyone who show's them affection, and once they have hold of them, they simply refuse to let go... It's very, very, sad,... but they dont do this simply because they're stupid,... more often than not, it's a desperation to hold, onto whatever affection's they can get, as a result of having so little when they were young!... It may seem hard to understand to some, but human's are human's, and if you deny them love and affection when they're young, they'll simply refuse to let go of it, when they find some as adult's, regardless of how bad you beat them.... Perhap's this should be considered next time, before being to quick to out-right criticize them!....... ( P.S. this applies mainly to chronical wife beating's, rather than the isolated beating, though both in themselve's are bad. )

Answer 9

You shouldn't judge people. Haven't you ever been in a situation where you just didn't know what to do or whether something was OK or not? Haven't you ever felt you "deserved" bad treatment because of some other guilt-related issues?

Not everything is so black and white. Sometimes things start out innocently enough and progress.

People become enmeshed in situations, and it becomes a lot more complicated than just moving out.
have compassion for people in abusive situations!

Answer 10

you cant judge when you have never been in the situation, have you ever visited a domestic violence shelter for women and actually heard their stories? these women are human beings that have had their spirit broken broken by their partners and were scared for their lives, they believed that no one else cared for them except their partners who have isolated them from their own friends and family, their self esteem is damaged due to their partner belittling them and making them feel like they are weak and are nothing without them,do so some research before you decide to call these people stupid because they are not they are only trying to deal with a situation as best as they can while maintaining a relationship or trying to hold their family together for their children....

Answer 11

They aren't just as bad at all. They are victims and its a sad thing. Yeah, it sounds stupid when we're out here being armchair critics, but we don't know what's going on at home. Most people who are abused know dammed well its wrong and they should leave but are scared to death to do so. Will they become homeless? Will their kids be taken away? Will the abuser hunt them down and kill them? All legitimate fears. Yes, they need to get help and go and yes it drives me nuts to hear the "oh but I love him" "oh but he said he was sorry the last 56 times" on and on......but those people still need our support and not criticism.