Should I lose my virginity with my best friend?

Question

I'm a virgin and I knew this girl for almost two years. I told her I wanted to lose it with her because she my best friend. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. and one day I was thinking “ I wanted to lose it with somebody who cared about me and she was right here all alone”….but she said something that I do and don’t understand. She said if we do that it gone to change our relationship for the worst. Don’t get me wrong I not trying to force her to do anything. She didn’t say YES or NO but lets talk about it tomorrow .I’m just trying to get a better understanding of what she was talking about when she said ‘it gone to change our relationship for the worst’ before I call her tomorrow .i don’t want to lose my best friend what was she talking about? i'm 18/male

PS Please Dont Hit me with one of them "you a virgin wait" things....PLEASE let me know what she was talking about

Answer 1

One ruled....never date/sex with friends.
She right, if ' we do that it gone to change our relationship for the worst' because once you do it, you both are not best friend anymore but now couple. That mean that you will see each other differently and act differently, and most relationship don't last. I think she worry that if you guy do it you guy wont be the same toward each other again-no more best friend.

And where the hell you get the idea of losing it will your best friend, I never have that idea and i have a best friend for 10years, and never thinking of doing it with her.

Answer 2

If you really need to have one definitive moment in your life that you will regret more than anything, maybe for the rest of your life, then I'd say go for it.

Sex comes last, bro, not first. If you want to take your relationship with her in a new direction, take the proper steps like a real man and if she is willing, start dating each other. Build that relationship until you are both ready to take things to a physical level - and I'm not even talking about sex.

Good friends come few and far between in this lifetime. Take it from a 39 year old guy who can count his true soul mate friends on one hand and have fingers left over. Sex is easy. Don't ruin one of the few, sacred things your soul treasures for a piece of ***. If you've waited this long, then guess what - you're better than that, which is why she's surprised that you've asked this of her.

Oh, one more thing, I can tell you right now that unless she has been harboring some secret love for you that she hasn't told you about, she is NOT ready to do this with you.

You’re a good man, Hore M. This is one mistake you don’t want to make. Do the right thing.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I dont know if it will change your relationship for the worst, but it will change the relationship as you know it. When two people share an intamacy together, you can never take it back. Here is a short story that might help you to understand.
Back in my day all we had was playing Atari and hanging out with our friends. I had know all the neighborhood kids since I was able to go out and play. One day, the next door neighbor and I were messing around. It went to far and we ended up taking each others virginity. Things were never the same again. We no longer goofed off at the bus stop. We didnt hang around as much and we really didnt have a whole to say to each other. We remained friends, but were never friends like we were before.
I hope this helps you understand what she is trying to say. She wants the both of you to be aware of and understand all the consequences that surround a decision like this. Remember that sex does change a lot of things between two people. Whether it be someone you meet in the future and your relationship takes you there or now.
Best of luck with your decision.

Answer 4

You're a virgin. Wait! No seriously, wait until marriage.

Ok, I had to say that 'cause you said not to. Waiting or not waiting is your business and no one elses!

You need to ask her why she is concerned. There are lots of friends who enjoy or have enjoyed sex together. If you really are good friends the only way you will have a problem is if she is actually interested in you as more than a friend or when you get married you won't feel comfortable being friends with a woman that you have a sexual history with. Or you will find that she can't be your friend because of her future partners. Or you will find that you are jealous of the guys in her life after your deflowering.

Otherwise, friends with benefits can be a pretty decent arrangement. Just talk it over some more. It's a good question.

Answer 5

I did it with my best friend, it's been 7 years and we are still best friends till now. At first, it was akward because we didn't think of doing that before. If you are clear before you do it, go and do it. However, you need to be sure that she's ready too. If she said so, that means she's not yet ready. She concerns about this more as she is a girl.

I love my best friend very much as a person but not a man of my life. We just understand each other so well that sexual relationship didn't harm our friendship. I know that this case is rare. Anyway, I never regret I did that as it's better than doing it with the man you really love but ditch you later cruelly. I would have been so much in pain.

You need to think carefully.

Answer 6

Having sex changes relationships. It is just how it is. Your best friend is aware of this, even if you are not.

Now she is making a self fulfilling prophecy about the relationship turning for the worse if you have sex. She doesn't know that for sure. She thinks that it will change for the worse, and that could very well happen if she honestly thinks it's going to.

In the end she will decide if she wishes to initiate you into the sexual realm. And if she does the relationship will change, but as the future can not be predicted we won't know how until it happens.

If either of you are unsure of your feelings concerning sex here is a piece of advice: Inaction is the best course of action.

Answer 7

here are the facts and here are the myths:
facts:
1. if you guys have sex your relationship WILL change.
2. after you have sex you guys will feel so awkward afterward.
3. if you are spending lots of time with this "friend" then you guys were already more than just freinds. you guys are already emotionally and mentally intimate with each other. She's not your bestfriend, shes your girlfreind.
4. If you guys start a sexual relationship one of you will start to really fall for the other person-- this will only end in disaster.
Myth:
1. Waiting until you get married makes it more "special".
2. Doing it with a close person is safer.

Answer 8

I know what she is taking about i had the same problem almost we weren't virgins but we were best friends and we both loved each other we had sex and I ended up pregnant and he denies that it is his right now I am going after him for child support and we no longer talk I am not saying this will happen to you guys but I am saying be careful if you 2 decide to go for it you may feel differently about each other the next day and you may end up losing your best friend which is never a good thing

Answer 9

well if she is your best friend and you have never kissed or anything like that. Then yea it is going to change your relationship becasue you will look at each other differently. Instead of having deep talks you two might look at each other like you have seen me naked i can't talk to you like that since we are not going out, type thing. You have to understand that is a huge thing to ask a girl especially if she has waited until she is eighteen. Maybe she is waiting for the perfect guy. And honestly Its better with a girl you love in everyway not just as a "friend"

Answer 10

Losing your virginity isn't something you just want to do with someone who cares about you or whatnot. Think of it more as a pact of foreverness. For a girl, I don't think losing their virginity is a great thing. So it could be that she'd be doing a huge life-changing favor for you that she probably does not want to do.