I think my gf has a mental problem of some sort. And I'm being very serious. I don't judge her, and I try not to take things too personally b/c she can be very aloof and distant w/ me when I think I've been a great guy for her. I am not talking about anything like schizo/bipolar/etc, but something behavioral. Can I tell her what I think? I know she has seen a counsellor in her past (and never stuck w/ it) and am starting to hear about some heavy issues from her past. This girl is great, but I am at a loss as to keeping myself involved w/ her.
2006-11-14 16:48:29 · 6 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am starting to notice the problems I have with our relationship are present in many other aspects of her life and it worries me.
2006-11-14 16:53:40 · update #1
There are lots of great people in the world, lots of potential mates and near-misses. But the bottom line is that if it's not working for you, it's not working.
If you want to give it one last try, you can try to have a calm, objective discussion with her. You can say things like "this isn't working for me. I need more warmth." Or "I'm not comfortable with the interactions we've had lately."
You may be right that the causes of the things that disturb you are due to a mental illness or upset of some sort. However, bringing that up right off the bat may not endear you to her and it may not result in her heading back to the counselor.
One thing to try, if you really do want to stay involved with her, is seeing a counselor yourself. Discussing her behavior with a professional might give you some fresh insights.
As for not judging her and not taking things too personally, that's kind and good, even wise at certain times. We all have bad days, bad weeks. However, that's not the way you should have to live your life, being held at arm's length from your mate and trying not to take things personally because you may get hurt. A mate should ideally be a friend and a refuge, not just one more person you have to insulate yourself against.
Good luck!
2006-11-14 17:02:48 · answer #1 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong. What you need to do is be very supportive of her. Accompany her to see a counsellor and approach the issue positively. Such personality disorders may take time to resolve, but if you really love her, then support her through and through and take keen interest in her counselling and therapy sessions.
2006-11-15 01:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Them Thug 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like her and think she is worth it then you will try to work through it. If you're not sure then you need to let her go before you dig yourself a hole so big that you can't get out of it.
2006-11-15 00:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by inquisitive 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be totally honest with her and ask about her past
knowing fully what you are dealing with is a big step up and out from the dark. if you are her great guy - maybe you can help her, go with her to her sessions to help you to understand her and for her to know that you are there to support her
2006-11-15 00:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone has been to counseling, it doesn't necessarily mean that they are nuts. Maybe when she's in her aloof mode, she's just taking time out to think, or maybe she just doesn't have anything to say.
2006-11-15 00:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you are really that concerned about her try going to a couples counselor with her. if that counselor senses or sees a problem they will refer her on to another doctor for herself. that way it won't seem like you are ganging up on her or calling her mental.
2006-11-15 00:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋