my mom used to get off work at 10pm after i'd gone to bed, but now she gets home at 6pm. i use make up to help cover the brusing up. but she can't know! I LOVE my boyfriend! i don't care if he hits me, he only does it because he is stressed with his alcholic father. he is trying to not hit me!!!
2006-11-14 16:25:38 · 59 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you guys i know he loves me! he is always sorry, he doesn't mean to. he just loses control. its not his fault!
he is the sweetest guy i've ever been with. on my birthday he took me to a restaurant and gave me a dozen pink daisies; my favorite!
2006-11-14 16:40:33 · update #1
i hope she finds out. what a pussy for hitting a woman.
2006-11-14 16:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by Elaine 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
What I'm about to tell you is something you really will not like to hear, but it's the honest truth. If that boy(and he is a boy, for no man would ever strike a woman) can lift a finger and strike you, then let me tell you, he does NOT love you. He doesn't. What you are to him is a punching bag, and an object that he can control. Hitting you because he is stressed over an alcoholic father is a mere excuse, and a poor one at that! This is a control issue with him, one you're letting him have so easily. Love is blind, and it has surely blinded you.
You are very wrong to not care or do anything to get him to stop hurting you. You honestly have such low respect and esteem for yourself to allow him to hit you? Well, let me ask you this...would you have any respect for yourself after he puts you in the hospital, or when you're six feet under the ground, dead? Because if you don't take action, and stop making excuses for this dude, that is exactly where you are headed. This jerk won't stop, and he will continue to do harm to you, and you seriously won't do anything about it? The best thing you could ever do for yourself is tell your mom, and show her the bruises, because then she would take action and save you from this idiot.
The best thing you can do is stop hiding it, because you can't hide it for long. Also, stay away from this person. He's only going to do you more harm than good, regardless of your love for him. Your love will not change his ways. You can't change him. Tell an adult, anyone, and save yourself. Of course, I don't think you'll listen to me, because you're going to be headstrong. But please trust me on this. You're putting yourself at a great risk, and for what? For love? It's only love when the other person loves you back. He doesn't.
2006-11-14 16:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by Maico 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he'll put two dozen pink flowers on your grave after he loses control and kills you when he's in one of his rages. YOU MUST WAKE UP before it's too late. Love does not hurt!! Love is safety and gentleness and protection. You have none of that! You are giving him an excuse when you say it isn't his fault. Of course it is his fault. Don't wait for your mother to find out. TELL HER. Right after you've told the police!! You must get help. A man who hits you will NOT STOP. It will only get worse and worse until some day it will have a tragic end. You must get away from this person. This is not love. This is abuse. You are worth more than to allow yourself to be a punching bag. PLEASE don't stay with him another minute. Not another second. GET HELP NOW. Your life depends on it.
2006-11-15 01:03:32 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
NO! NO! NO! There is NO excuse! I'm quite sure he is "stressed" (abused as well) by his alcoholic father, but that is no excuse. YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT! And no amount of daisies will make up for it! I don't know what to tell you, only that, instead of getting better, it will only get worse. How can you continue to live in fear, not knowing when he will hurt you again? Do you really think that each time will be the last time? You're wrong! If you wind up staying with him, the "last time" will be the one when he kills you. I know you think this would never happen, but do some research. Try and find out how many abusive partners "just stopped" one day. I can tell you, none, unless it was because their punching bag was finally dead. JUST READ ABOUT THIS! Instead of trying to figure out how to cover up the bruises, try and figure out what YOU can do to stop it (you DO want it to stop, right?) Why leave it in hands? Educate yourself, empower yourself! You think this "love" is the "end all, be all" but you're sacrificing some very important things for it: your self-worth, your dignity, loving yourself, and your physical person. Without that, you can't love anyone, and you can't love him without trying to get him (and yourself) some help. He needs counseling, you know this is true because of what he is going through with his father, he cannot get well without it. I hate to say, your love is not enough. YOU have to do something to help him and yourself.
2006-11-14 22:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by wendy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
that is so horrible!! You do not deserve that. No one does!!! You shouldn't have to make excuses for him either. Like all of these other people with common sense and descency, I say you should just get away from him and stay away. People like that don't know how to appreciate things in their life and are way too messed up. I hope your mom does find out. It will be a hard deal probably but you can't go on like this. It's you that has to get smart and face reality. He is a horrible person and probably will never change. I hope that eventuallly you will find someone that doesn't beat the living crap out of you, but for now, go get help!!
2006-11-14 16:38:49 · answer #5 · answered by Ghurricane87 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it so sad that you think he is the sweetest guy you have ever been with. He isn't Hun and there is never a good excuse to hurt someone you love. Unfortunately that is something you have to figure out for yourself. Good luck and I would tell you to leave him but you obviously aren't ready to. But ultimately it does get worse not better I know from experience. It goes from bruising to broken bones and cracked ribs. You don't need this and will never deserve it no matter what he ends up telling you remember that OK.
2006-11-14 16:45:31 · answer #6 · answered by babygirl_k2001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're joking.....right? Why in the world would you let anybody hit you repeatedly? Abuse is not love! You might have some weird infatuation with him but that's not love. I hope that your mom finds out about everything and I really hope you wake up and cut out the stupid act. I mean really how many supportive answers did you think you were going to get? Did you seriously believe that we would tell you how to hide it? Why don't you go find some self-esteem before he kills you! Alcoholic father, what a bunch of crap you fell for.
2006-11-14 16:36:11 · answer #7 · answered by spirit filled 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you do love him, but, he obviously doesn't love you back. Dont ever let any man (or woman) hit you. You are a person, not a punching bag. By the number of replies you can see that staying with this man (or boy) is the worst thing to do.
Please talk to your parents about this. THey want the best for you and would only be willing to help.
Report this guy to the police. You don't want him to hurt other people, do you?
2006-11-14 16:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anna 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why are you allowing this? You won't get self esteem by allowing him to continue. You might get killed!
It's only a little bit. It's only when he's stressed. NO DAMN EXCUSE! His father copes with his stress by drinking, slowly killing himself, unless of course he goes out joyriding while toasted! Your "boy" friend doesn't have the guts to take his frustrations out on himself, he takes them out on you!
RUN AWAY! FAST! Report the SOB! If you can't do it for yourself, consider what any child you bring into the world will learn. If it's a boy they think this activity is OK, until they go to prison on murder charges. What's worse is if it's a girl. Feeling worthless, that it's OK for people to use and abuse her!
This is a cycle that only breeds more uncaring brutal future residents of our prisons. Please stop the cycle now. If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Warn him if you must, but turn him in if he tries it again. If that makes him angry, just take a long look at what incredible self centered SOB's look like. To be angry because someone warns them not to abuse them, is beyond my understanding.
Get a restraining order, date a 6'6" 250# 5th dan in training, date a cop if you have to. STOP the cycle.
2006-11-14 16:47:07 · answer #9 · answered by Greg I 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Get out or get SERIOUS help. I come from an abusive family. My father beat my mother for 14 YEARS. He used to use every excuse possible for his behavior, but frankly there is no excuse for an type of abuse. They say they will change, and that they are trying to stop, but normally it doesnt happen. If he really loves you he WOULD NOT take his anger, frustration, or stress out on you. Its obvious that you love him or you wouldn't put up with his behavior, encourage him to find other ways to vent. Suggest he read, write or pick up some sort of hobbie that will allow him to release some of his frustration in a positive way. I understand loving someone and doing all you can to work things out, but if he doesnt change and you see no improvements don't put yourself through that. Its a horrible way to live. NO ONE should have to be put through that.
2006-11-14 16:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by sweetfunflirtytx 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"BS" Why should you be the one to suffer for his father's problem!!!! Does your boy drink too much as well, does he beat you when hes sober, or ONLY when hes drinking? You Mom needs to Know, friends need to Know! Some people beat cause they were beat, some people stay in abusive relations cause they were abused growing up. Get him and yourself some "help". Don't be a "punching" bag! GET OUT of that relationship before he causes some permanent damage. Hes not a man, just a boy. T|ell your Mom, tell you friends, tell the police. The beatings in these relationships can get progressively WORSTTT!! GET OUT before YOU GET KILLED!
2006-11-14 16:39:33 · answer #11 · answered by tiger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋