I just gave my son up for adoption, because i know that i could never give him the life he deserves. But i am so sad and empty, how do i deal with this pain?
2006-11-14 15:21:35 · 11 answers · asked by Amelia M 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Finish school. Busy yourself with getting a good education. Keep a journal of your pain. I know it sounds weird, but it helps to expel the feelings from your soul and into an inanimate object. Leave the pain in the book, and remember that you gave your child LIFE! Some women simply abort their baby- not you; you gave that child precious life, and with your very selfless decision of giving him a life full of opportunity, you should feel much better about the whole thing.
2006-11-14 15:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all..thank you. First for realizing (for whatever reason) that at this time in your life, you couldn't provide the life your son deserved. Second for being unselfish, and giving birth to a beautiful baby and making some wonderful peoples dreams come true. I would suggest maybe joining a support group, and cherish what you have done, honestly it's such an unselfish act. and remember when your son grows up, he can thank you for all you did for him. And when the pain gets really hard, remember the reason you had for giving him up, and hopefully that will make you feel some better..Again thank you
2006-11-14 23:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 29 year old woman who is adopted. I grew up with three other adopted siblings we all came from totally different backgrounds too. Our parents always told us that we were sent to them special becasue our birthmothers could not care for us but they loved us enough to let you take care of us.
I want to tell you that you made a great choice. I found my birthparents about 8 years ago and after hearing what her life was like when she was pregnant it was a blessing and the best thing at that time in her life that she could do for me.
You can always keep your baby in your prayers and know that he or she is in a better place.
2006-11-14 23:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you but I will give you KUDOS for giving someone a chance to raise a child who was not able to have children on their own. In some adoption programs the mother is still allowed to visit the child. I suggest to get involved into something, and go talk to a councelor. I'm sure the adoption agency would be happy to provide one as they should know how unbelievably painful it is to give up your own child.
2006-11-14 23:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy2be 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you, it's not going to be easy. But at least that you know you gave life to something, and you gave some other people the chance to be wonderful parents.
He might have came out of you, but he's not your son, he's the new parents son. You and someone else created him, yes, but now you are giving him the chance to live a wonderful life.
2006-11-14 23:25:00 · answer #5 · answered by Greg S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could read some books on dealing with loss. If there isn't a book on this for birth mothers, maybe this is your calling - to help others in your situation cope with their loss.
If you don't want to write a book, then maybe you could e-mail the psychology chair at your local university and say that there is insufficient information on coping with this kind of loss and it would make a great PhD research project. Then the PhD candidate who chose that subject would work with you for little or no cost.
2006-11-14 23:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably get some therapy, either from a doctor or a trusted friend. You don't have to go through this alone, nor should you have to. He will love you for the sacrifice you made to give him a better life, even if he isn't there to tell you right now.
2006-11-14 23:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't look down on you because you gave that baby what he need & that you couldn't give him trust me i had to give my two girls up for adoption trust me it hurt like hell cause what going through hell because of my x-husband he shot me & i had to learn all over thing that most take for granted & yeah i miss my girls a lot & i wish i could see them both but chin up & look at your self as a good mother at least you didn't set him on some doorstep & leave him you gave that child a loving home & adoption is something that is hard on most mothers that are aware that thay cant take care of that child but there are some sicko's out there that have killed , there children cause thye no longer wanted them.. please please look you have given this child everything and soon enough he will come looking for you & you can exsplain to him why you did what you did
2006-11-14 23:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get some counseling, but know this you did the most unselfish thing in your life, you gave him up for his sake and not yours. That takes a lot of courage.
2006-11-14 23:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think therpy would be very helpful...I think you are a wonderful person for giving someone the chance to be a parent though
2006-11-14 23:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by Brooke R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋