Understanding son's peanut allergy?

Question

My husband and I have an 18 month old son who is allergic to peanuts. How do I get our extended family to understand the severity of his allergy without hurting anyone's feelings? They all try to feed him and offer him fluids of different things w/out first having knowledge of the products ingredients, etc. We had it set that no one is to feed him but us, but at our sister's wedding everyone seemed to forget or ignore this. No one acts like they understand he could die from a reaction. Our Grandmother said she could pick noodles (w/unknown ingredients) out of a salad for him to eat. I was blown away for, I have told her many times of cross contamination. I am now terrified to ever leave him in anyone else's care. Please help

Answer 1

That is a really hard situation. Our son has the same problem, but is also allergic to wheat, gluten, eggs, dairy, citrus fruits and garlic.
We basically keep a lunch box with us at all times. Whenever he goes to his grandparents house he takes his lunch box, with a lecture of not giving him ANYTHING except what's in his box.
It did take some time to get everyone on board, and even now we still continue to remind everyone, because it's so easy for others that don't have to deal with it every day to forget, or for it to simply slip their minds.

We have also taught our son about his food allergies, and he is pretty good at telling people "I can't have that " Your son is a little younger, but it won't be long before you will be able to teach him to be his own advocate.

You can also get him a allergy bracelet - this is a good idea anyway, but will also help serve as a reminder for family and friends.
Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

I too have a son (21 months) with peanut allergies, he also happens to be allergic to eggs, so i have to watch what he eats closely. I am an EMT, so I understand what allergies do and I explaine that to my family all the time and, like you, it seems like they forget the seriousness of the situation. I don't know about you, but my son's allergist gave him an Epi-Pen Jr. and a training Epi-Pen Jr. as well (If you don't have a training Epi-Pen Jr. you should see about getting one), so that I could teach people how to use it...before anyone is allowed to watch my son without me being there, they must be shown, by me, how to use the Epi-Pen Jr. and they have to practice with ithe trainer a few times as well...i think this shows them a little bit more about how bad the allergy can get, I also make sure to stress that if they ever have to use the Epi-Pen Jr. they MUST call 911. Also, If someone is making food I always ask if it has peanuts or was made around peanuts and I ask to see the packages the food came in and I double check what they tell me, if they don't have the packages my son doesn't eat it...I also have gotten into the habit of always carrying food I know for a fact that my son can eat and at home I mark foods with a big 'X' if my son cannot have it. I have also made a list of foods he is NOT allowed to eat. Truth is people don't really understand how serious something is unless they are directly effected by it...but when it comes to it, you have to do all you can to train others and protect your son.

Answer 3

Your reaction should be commensurate with the severity of the allergic reaction. If he experiences the severest reactions and goes into anaphylaxis, then you need to be very vigilant. If his reaction is less severe, the try not to overreact. When you are in social situations like a wedding where a caterer is preparing unknown foods, I would prepare his own snacks and be vigilant about handwashing.

Our parents and grandparents generations did many, many things that we recognize are downright dangerous now. They certainly do not understand severe food allergies, because they were exceedingly rare back then or misdiagnosed as something else post mortem.

You have to stop obsessing about who remembers what and be a firm advocate for what your child needs to survive. If you hurt people's feelings, then they will just have to get glad in the same pants they got mad in. A little ones life is at stake. They would certainly rather have hurt feelings than be responsible for your child's death or an emergency trip to the ER.

Answer 4

I would just sit anyone down that you want to tell and explain to them that it is a life and death situation, that your son cannot have anything that contains peanuts, has been around peanuts, or that you don't know the ingredients in something... it's serious and I wouldn't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.. it's just the way it has to be.. I wouldn't leave your son with anyone elderly however, they tend to forget stuff or not realize the severity of situations - but younger people should understand and be fine with it...

Answer 5

Peanut allergies are horrible, and most people (my younger self included) think that people are simply overreacting and need to "toughen up." Simply tell them that, while exposing children to certain allergens does allow them to build up a resistance, peanut allergies are fatal from the get go. There is no building a resistance. This is a challenge for both you and your son, and you would appreciate it if they would help make this road easier for both of you by following the guidelines you have set forth. Also, have some research available to help them learn more.

Answer 6

Well...i don't know if you have tried this our not or if it's of any help, but...maybe show them some information about it that tells them what are the reactions of a peanut allergy, they should understand, it's your son's life and health at stake, you should do anything to prevent him to get severely sick. I hope this is of help,

Answer 7

Peanut allergies are serious. F. people's feelings. This is a matter of life and death for your son. When people begin to understand how serious this is, they'll forgive you for any bluntness in explaining it. Be direct.

Answer 8

maybe you could have a get together with your family and then seriously explain what could happen to your son ! Mybe you could even have a little flyer or pamplet to pass out to them and really stress how importand this is !