thier first child? I am due only ONE day before my stepdaughters b-day(the first child they had). I know due dates are only guidelines BUT. The ex does not like me at all, and all ready gives my husband a hard time/guilt trips about spending so much time with our son vs. their children(we live 2 states away, my son is only 9 months old AND the hubby's only been home 10 weeks since he was been born). I'm just wondering how exactly she might feel about this if our 2nd child was born on the same day. Most people I'm sure wouldn't be too upset about it but she is sort of a childish person.
2006-11-14 15:09:43 · 10 answers · asked by Mommy2be 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I don't come from a divorced family. So i don't really have the experience or understanding that some other people might.
2006-11-14 15:10:45 · update #1
P.S. My husband is in the military. That is why he is not home a lot right now. He will be staying home for at least 2 years starting 2008. Some people should really not jump to conclusions about things.
2006-11-14 15:16:55 · update #2
You are the wife now. You call the shots now. Tell her if she wants, you can make it so that YOUR HUSBAND will see HER kids even less.
You can be a real ***** if you wanted to be. You can make this ALOT harder if you put a little effort forth. REMIND her of who you are- and who SHE isn't. Put your foot down, or she'll be walking all over you. Demand respect from her, and your husband should be defending you tooth an nail.
I'm not saying you 'should' be a *****, but I think reminding her that she is blessed that you aren't one should calm her down.
2006-11-14 15:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
You're being blessed with a baby, why worry about some thing as trivial as the day the baby is born when it's health is the most important thing. No matter what day the child comes you shouldn't be thinking about who's birthday it does or does not fall on, there's plenty of other things to focus on in delivery. She'll be upset no matter what, but her anger is with her ex... not really you or your children, even though it may appear that way. Push her own problems aside for the sake of your step-children and birth children, maybe she can pick up a better attitude from your positive attitude. Do, however, make it a priority that his children with her come to visit as often as they can. It's important they know their half-siblings and father as much as they can before it's too late to develop any relationship at all.
2006-11-14 15:32:36 · answer #2 · answered by 2007 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK hun, i came from a divorce family my mom and dad were married 22 years and then they split they got four kids together my dad went ahead and got remaried to his second wife she had two kids and she was a complete b*tch she had my dad on a leash literally and her kids always came first, so therefor she didnt hurt my mother she hurt us because she took away that quality time from us. Finally my dad dumped her got with his third wife and she was no better she had one kid and one grandson, well her grandson always came first he took the quality time from us again like always and when i would say something about it this woman would put me down and tell me i use my father which is completely wrong. So what i am telling you is that since you claim that the ex is a childish person it sounds like you are keeping up with her which is stupid, the only thing you should be worried about is being this mans wife and thats it dont take his quality time from his kids away from him cause you two have kids together thats not cool and it wont hurt the mother it will hurt those kids and if thats your intention you dont deserve kids sorry to put it like that. Second of all just keep in mind the ex has already accomplished alot more right now and also you have her second sloppys so why compete and try and make her mad ? theres no reason to do that just live your life with your husband and thats it dont put your husbands kids down and most of all dont be a cruel step mother cause if hubby sees it you might also be gone. i dont want to sound mean but i dealt with two crappy stepmothers for 15 yrs and it can really mess up the kids and no mother wants that and if your a mother please wake up and count your blessings.
2006-11-14 15:35:09 · answer #3 · answered by mommyandbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that it will upset her. I can understand where she would be. It is hard to see your ex with someone else.. much less happy and having children. I would not focus on her though. Focusing on how she feels, and what she is thinking zaps the energy you are going to need for 2 little ones. Do not harbor ill feelings for this woman. You need to show your children what it means to love all people. ( I know that this is hard.. I stuggle with it everyday) My husband has a 12 year old daughter with is ex, and we are trying to have one now, and it is eating her up!.. I think it is funny that she cant act like she has the "golden uterus" after we have a child. She cant say.. "well I have a CHILD with him" after we have a baby, she cant say that. However, try not to worry about what she thinks.. take your energy and love your new baby, and new family. Congrats and good luck!
2006-11-14 15:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by WestWife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing about the same day is . your husbands daughter and your baby if born on the same day BOTH deserve to spend their bithdays with their mommy and daddy , you all need to sit and talk and grow. up the fact is hes your husband . she didnt want him any more he didnt want her . they are devorced ... the sugestion that you can make him see your step daughter even less , is bull . that child doesnt deserve that .
have a birthday for the kids and dont talk to the ex. if thats what it takes . make the kids holidays about them and stop being childish .
2006-11-14 15:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by porcelain65711 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother and half sister share the same birthday but 3 years apart. They get along great now that they are adults and know that the problems are the parents and not theirs. She'll freak out, but encourage your hubby to be as involved as he can with the older child. Sending e-mail, cards, text messages, anything to show her they are still ok.
2006-11-14 15:20:08 · answer #6 · answered by duckiejunkie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot really plan for things like that, so if it happens that way, it happens. She is a parent and should understand that. If she doesn't, you live 2 states away anyway... why should you care what she thinks?
2006-11-14 15:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what she thinks really . It sounds like what ever you do or what ever happens she is going to throw a fit and not like it . It is one of those no win situations. You will never see her happy about anything cause she is jealous
2006-11-14 15:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't worry over it..stress isn't good for you or the baby...how does your stepdaughter feel about it..she would be the only one i would be concerned about
2006-11-14 15:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares what she thinks? you should be more concerned about your husband not being home with you and your son.
2006-11-14 15:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋