I've just never been good at going out and finding someone. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and I want to find someone to start slow with. We rushed into everything in my last relationship and I think that caused alot of problems. I just don't know where to begin.
2006-11-14 14:44:13 · 8 answers · asked by Ashton W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It isn't the healing that I have a problem with. I broke up with him after long and heartfelt debate. I just hate being alone. I hate not having someone to share things with.
2006-11-14 14:54:30 · update #1
Don' t begin. Relax. Take some time off and enjoy single life. Smell the roses, go out with friends, etc. You say you don't want to rush, but you're already mentioning finding someone. Get life in order the way you would have it... be sure you are healed from your last break up. When all that is done, the right guy or girl will be there waiting for you.
2006-11-14 14:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by bigwheeler19 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rushing is never a problem. Each relationship moves at the pace that both people are ready for, no matter what happens.
The reason for that, is because no one is going to do something they're not comfortable with.
Going back into the dating scene is hard, especially after such a long relationship.
If you really want to take things slowly. I mean, if you TRULY want to take things slowly, then don't date.
Start by making a new friend. And if that friend turns into something more, then great! But if it doesn't, then at least you have a friend.
Just be careful that both the new friend AND you know it's a friendship, and that you're not leading up into dating later.
2006-11-14 22:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by JediKnight 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, have a clear idea of what kind of relationship you want. Don't bother with men who don't want that kind of relationship. Frex, if you're looking for something serious that may lead to marriage, don't waste your time with guys who only want short-term sexual flings -- no matter how hot they are.
Second, be honest with yourself about what you want in a man. Then do some research into where men like the one you want are likely to be found (hint: you don't usually find sensitive artistic types at meat market bars, but a tennis club is a good bet if you want a guy with money). When you know where your targets of choice are likely to be found, go there.
Third, once you're in the right place for the right guy to find you, be available. That doesn't mean be easy, nor does it mean don't ever play hard to get. It means be honest about whether or not you're interested. If you don't want to date a guy, tell him so in no uncertain terms. If you are interested, let him know (but make him work for it anyway -- most of us like that, and a good many won't respect you if you don't).
Fourth and last (once you get a prospect), be honest about what you want from the relationship. Don't lead a guy on with a sex kitten routine and then tell him you want to go slow once he's hooked. Neither should you pretend not to be attracted to him physically if you are -- I've broken off what could've been perfectly good relationships because the lady pretended that there were no sparks (because I thought that she felt none, and it was important to me that she did), and I'm sure that other guys have, too. Be up front with what you expect and what you need. We love to meet your needs, ladies, we really do -- we just need to know what they are, instead of being expected to figure it out on our own.
All of the above advice assumes that you're straight (because most people are, and your question didn't give any indication to the contrary). If your gay, modify my advice accordingly.
2006-11-14 22:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by focusing on your own goals and developmental growth - personally or professionally. Build up yourself and your confidence and the right man will be attracted to you. Once you have much to offer in a relationship, it becomes very easy to connect with other people and to know when someone does not meet your standards. Focusing on accomplishing your own goals also rids you of the smell of 'desperation,' and, ironically, gives you a greater perspective on dating. Best wishes!
2006-11-14 22:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by tcom1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't go looking for something that is sure to come to you. What I mean is this, let life happen and don't do looking for the "ONE" When the time is right it will find you, when you least expect it.
2006-11-14 22:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by lrc125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do some emotional healing first....Enjoy being free for awhile...
2006-11-14 22:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just go out have fun
wit the girls
2006-11-14 22:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by surfwavesx3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cant say for sure...........but i know from mistakes.............dont sample everyone that comes along.........i started out to find the ideal person.........that took too long and began lowering my standards............big mistake...........hold out for greatness.
2006-11-14 22:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by blkhawk51 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋