Ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years.. we just had a baby.. and it seems as though that the sexual desire is just not what it used to be for me?? i dont know whats wrong..
I just dont seem to get "excited" anymore?!?!?!?
2006-11-14 14:29:48 · 40 answers · asked by lilly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Perhaps it's the stress of taking care of a baby. Stress has a negative effect on the sex drives of both women and men. If your baby is old enough, try hiring a babysitter so you can have a romantic night out or just having a stress-free night with your boyfriend--you just might be able to jump-start your sex drive.
2006-11-14 14:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both see a counsellor. Romance must be missing in your life. If you do not want to, then both of you sit together and talk over it. Think how it used to be before the baby's birth and how happy you both were together. You must be on your toes after the babies birth. You may be feeling too tired by the end of the day. Ask your bf to share the work. If he is not used to helping in the house you identify and tell him what all he can do to make your life easier. I am sure you will enjoy your relationship if you dont have any serious issues. Plan a holiday if you can.
2006-11-14 14:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, that is SO NORMAL!! I have 2 girls one is 3 and the other is 7 months old. When I first had my first child I was the same way. Its all the stress from the baby and being awake all night so your tired, Etc. and trying to keep your boyfriend happy. It;s a lot to go through at first. You will notice that your sex drive will come back later on down the road. And try and make an effort to make yourself want to have sex, becuase that will help too. You body is tired from having the baby and being pregnant and new mom. Just give it time and dont rush things. It will all come back in due time. Congrats on the baby!
2006-11-14 14:37:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is totally normal. It happens after you have a kid.Youre tired all the time. Youre hormones are all kind of crazy and all youre doing is thinking of the baby. About taking care of it. Feeding it. Changing its diapers. Giving it Baths. Not to mention all the visitors that are comming over to see it. Thats ALOT of change going on with you. So youre ok. Dont worry. And if your Boy friend is Getting alittle agitated, Just let him Know of all the stuff you have on your plate now. That its NOT just you two anymore.
Once the baby starts sleeping all night and you get to sleep all night too, things should get back to normal. If not then it could be somthing different, like Depression. Congrats on your new family and God Bless.:)
2006-11-14 14:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Crissy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time after the birth of a child.
If you have any hesitation about becoming pregnant again for awhile, you may be convincing yourself you are not interested.
Sometimes it could be from hormonal imbalance.
Seek medical advice.
Most people do not realize until there just how much work goes into having and caring for a baby.
Fatigue could play a part as well.
Changes in body - weight, etc could be causing you some hesitation ...... talk with your husband and see if you can come to some form of communication or agreement on the whens and wheres.
Maybe there are other issues that need to be discussed and once out in the open - you will realize just how much you love each other!
Best wishes!
2006-11-14 14:34:48 · answer #5 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fiance and I just had a baby after being together for about 2 years. I think that the average couples sexual desire fades after two years, regardless of a baby. With the morals the way they are in this country today, it's no wonder people aren't as happy with each other for very long. It is so easy to just move along!
2006-11-14 14:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by Amy L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This situation seems to be a lot more common than you may think. After women have their 1st child they see themselves more like a mother than a sexual being. The best option would be to plan a date night with your significant other and gel ALL dolled up. Really crank the sex meter up to 10 and go out, have a few drinks, loosen up and have a sitter for the little angel. Then either go home to an empty house or a hotel and reacquaint yourself sexually ! Good Luck and God Bless !
2006-11-14 14:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by Steady&Ready 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from your body recovering from the pregnancy, your mind is focusing on alot of new things right now. Give yourself some time to sort your thoughts out and get in to a new routine with the baby and you will should soon find yourself back in the race. Don't give up, it is normal and it won't be the first time or the last. I find that when I have alot of stuff on my mind (my job gets stressful once in awhile) I don't have the drive either, but after a break from the stress and pulling myself back together, things go back to normal. Mabe ask your boyfriend to help with the baby when you need to relax. Good luck!
2006-11-14 14:35:54 · answer #8 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how long ago you had the baby, it could be hormones. You are probably also tired from caring for the baby. Is he doing his part to make sure you are getting time for yourself? If not, you could be feeling a little unappreciated. I know all about that. There is also a chance you are unconsciously afraid of getting pregnant again. I know about that too.
Talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. If it isn't hormones, you should be able to get him to fulfill whatever you are needing. Once you get through the problem, your sex drive should return. If that doesn't help, just give it some time. Your sex drive may never be the same as it was, but you will eventually be able to get 'excited' again.
2006-11-14 14:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by toothfairy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A new baby brings a lot of stress and pressure to a household and a relationship. You can expect to feel less "excited" when you're so busy and tired. Don't take it as a sign of a souring relationship. Relationships go through phases and changes all the time. Sometimes a raging fire is replaced with a warm glow, which can be just as rewarding.
2006-11-14 14:34:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋