tho we've been living together and it seems our wedding night perhaps shouldn't be any different than any other, my fiance plans to have his kids that night.
I thought we'd go stay the night at a hotel.
Is it unreasonable for me to think that we should spend our first night as husband and wife elsewhere--with no kids?
We leave for our honeymoon 3days after the wedding.
2006-11-14 14:24:13 · 23 answers · asked by moniquebell 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Let him know how you feel and what you want . . .he can't read your mind . .
2006-11-14 14:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I think you're wedding night should be spent somewhere special. One of the most depressing things I have ever heard was a couple who had lived together before they were married and on their wedding night fell asleep watching tv. I don't care how many times you've been together, you should go to some really nice hotel that night, even if you're honeymoon doesn't start till later that week. That's how a lot of people do it. Don't spend it with his kids. Not trying to be mean, but what is he thinking. That night should be about great sex, regardless. Go to a really nice, really expensive hotel that you would normally never go to. Your wedding night is supposed to be special. Spending it with your kids, I'm sorry, is not special.
2006-11-14 14:28:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
if you wont be leaving for 3 days after your wedding, then it may be kind of hard not to have his kids there on your wedding night..i do agree that you should at least spend your first night as husband and wife alone together, just tell him that you want your first day together to be special...it is not unreasonable to want that..does he think its unreasonable? if so, you need to have a talk with him about how this makes you feel..
2006-11-14 14:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Nikkib 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't expect to live with a guy, who has an ex and kids, and still approach your wedding night as if you were a couple of 20 year old virgins. As you are becoming a stepmom, your married life is only going to be successful if you are adept at compromise, so the wedding night would be as good a place as any to start compromising. Ask him what his ideal wedding night would be (it seems he would like to share it with his kids), tell him what yours would be, and make a nice, positive plan together that incorporates a little of both.
2006-11-14 14:33:31 · answer #4 · answered by z 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not going on the honeymoon for three days what is the rush?
when my wife and I got married she had friends and family fly in from England and Canada. Out of respect for the money they paid to come, we held off our honeymoon for 10 days and visited with them and other guests.
We have been married 7 years and have 2 children now.
2006-11-17 02:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by Texas Tiger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cannot imagine what kind of person would consider taking their children on the wedding night or the other spouse even allowing that to happen - tacky!
Granted if you have been living together - the specialness of the night is long gone ..... but still it is the first night legally as man and wife.
It is a night like no other and never will be again.
Even if the trip is simple it should be shared just the two of you!
Best wishes!
2006-11-14 14:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Marsha 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
From your point of view it really sucks. But you've got to look at it from his and his kids points of view. That being said try to find an alternative for the kids that's just as much fun for them. My dad was supposed to have us when he remarried. We ended up staying with my step-mom's parents that night. We were 6 and 8, so getting to stay up late, eat leftover cake and play flashlight tag with Grandpa made us forget we weren't with Dad. The next morning he picked us up and we went out for breakfast. Now that you're marrying this guy, this is going to have to be the first of many compromises. Don't let him think that you don't want his kids around because that will only lead to problems. Even though you're allowed to be queen for the day, just remember that that day is a source of memories for your new hubby and YOUR new stepchildren. Enjoy your special day.
2006-11-14 15:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
monique : Look at the bright side of all this. The kids can keep score for you two - what's the difference whether or not, you are at a hotel or back at home with your kids ? The "wedding night" after you've been shacked up all these years doesn't mean anything to the kids. So; go for it !!!
2006-11-14 14:33:32 · answer #8 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i think that is would be special to spend the first night together but then just like you said it is still going to be the same....hey just wait until the children go to bed and remember that honeymoon might just be worth the wait.
2006-11-14 14:32:31 · answer #9 · answered by breathetheheat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having his kids the same night you are wed may seem a bit rude but it might be a way for you to be welcomed into his life totally. to let the kids know he still loves them but he loves you too.we are just guys and we need aceptance from the ones we love. so your wedding night is your invite to the family but your honeymoon is the actual wedding night for just the two of you and maybe his mom lol hope i made a bit of sense for you good luck
2006-11-14 14:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by bill n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, even though you have been living together, this should still be a special time. I think I would re-think getting married to this guy. If it is the ho-hum now, think of what it will be like in 5 years. He needs to leave the kids with grandma and grandpa. You two will have them with you all the time after the marriage..
2006-11-14 14:26:34 · answer #11 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋