my son is getting married next year to a girl he has lived with for 7 years, and they have everything for there home, is there a way to put just money for gifts without sounding nasty?
2006-11-14 14:01:21 · 40 answers · asked by bitchwitch8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
how is that sounding nasty? people can always use money for everything regardless. money is good
2006-11-14 14:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Mai Tai 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Everyone will tell you that it is tacky to ask for anything or state where you are registered but come on people, you are being invited to a wedding, it is presumed that you are bringing some kind of a gift. I came across these two poems to enclose in an invite asking for no gifts.
Now we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don't need a wedding list of dishes
We have the kettles, the toasters, the linen
All we lack now is a house to put it in.
If you would like to give us a gift,
We know of something that would give us a lift
Please donate your love to our own little 'Well'
How grateful we'd be, we just cannot tell.
To save you from looking, shopping, or buying.
Here is an idea, we hope you don’t mind trying.
Come to our wedding to wish us both well,
And make some use of our little wishing well.
Your wishes will be used to find a home of our own
Which we will have you to thank, when our family has grown
Now that we have saved you all of the fuss,
We hope that you will come and celebrate with us!
It is no one's wedding but your son's and if people can't handle a simple request then they do not deserve to be invited. Etiquette books are outdated and were written in a totally different era for different types of people...what is found proper by some may be appauling by others.
2006-11-14 15:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Country Girl for Life 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Asking for gifts in any way is considered tacky. An invitation is a request for someone to join you in celebrating a wedding - not a gift request. A wedding invitation should never, in anyway, imply that a gift is required or even expected.
That being said, people like buying presents for weddings, and will want to know what to buy. SO how do you tell them without being tacky? There are a few ways. The most common is simply word of mouth - tell everyone and tell them to pass it on. You can also tell them on the bridal shower invitations - bridal shower invitations generally carry the expectation that the guest brings a gift for hte bride, and so including that information is considered acceptable. You could also put up a wedding blog or website - there are lots of free ones. Use the site to share information on the wedding, including registeries or gift info - and simply include the link on the invitation.
2006-11-14 15:54:54 · answer #3 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good etiquette says you do not solicit gifts of any sort on the invitation. If someone asks you for a suggestion of what they need, you can suggest money. But it is tacky beyond belief to put this on the invitation. The whole point of inviting people to witness a wedding is to share in the joy of the couple who are (at last) making a lifelong commitment. This is not a fundraiser. Gifts are voluntary. Sometimes people who have everything will suggest on their invitations that in lieu of gifts guests are encouraged to make donations to a charity. But that charity can't be the newlyweds! So give up on this idea, please. Just because some people do this, it doesn't make it right. You will offend your guests and make this couple look like a pair of money-grubbers who are only getting married because they think they can cash in on the gifts. Don't do it.
2006-11-14 14:16:33 · answer #4 · answered by just♪wondering 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think these days you might be able to get away with it but it really is sort of a tacky thing to do. It sounds like you are only inviting your guests for the money. I'm not sure there is a good way to say give money without is sounding tacky. Maybe you can state in your invitation that the happy couple has everything they need to get started in life but cash or donations to a favorite charity would be appreciated. I still think it would be tacky. Just have them graciously accept the gifts and return them later for the cash or something different. No tackiness needed.
2006-11-14 14:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by smile4u 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I presume you are talking about on the invitations.
I have seen it done two ways.
After our years together life has afforded us many of the items we need. In lieu of gifts, a cash tree will be at the reception.
Our tastes as individuals does not match our taste as a couple. We would like to shop after our honeymoon for the things that will be us. Your gifts towards this will be prefered
2006-11-17 02:47:22 · answer #6 · answered by Texas Tiger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't believe there is! First off having a wedding after shacking up for years and getting gifts is pushing things. I would however suggest they register somewhere that they can easily return things or pool the items together for something they would really enjoy.
Asking for money is tacky (just my opinion) especially after they have everything, I think it would be great to suggest in lieu of gifts that make a donation to there favorite cause or perhaps a note they are putting away for a honeymoon!
Good luck and congratulations!
2006-11-14 14:08:42 · answer #7 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
i really don't understand why it is fine for people to register for gifts, but not OK for you to request money instead.When you register for gifts it's like saying I want this this and that from these stores only. How is that any more polite then requesting money. It is a dumb rule that some one made up. Besides how many forks are you guys using at your meal. Do you really care about "proper etiquette"???
2006-11-16 08:10:49 · answer #8 · answered by lee b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only wedding invite that I got asking for money so offended me that I didn't even go to the wedding or send a card. Then when it came time for my own wedding and all we really wanted was money. Little problem. Knowing that we had invited 200 people we only registered for about 30 or so things that we really wanted. That way when they were all bought up the only thing left to give was money. To be on the safe side, we let our parents and siblings know that if people asked them for gift ideas for us that they should advise them to just give us money.
2006-11-14 16:02:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not ask for donations towards a Honeymoon suit at a really special Hotel?
Or maybe think about the sort of luxuries that you wouldn't normally own or have as a gift, say, A garden swing, a pond, a water feature. A doorbell. A dictionary. Car seat covers. A trolly bag. A gift token for a sauna, a sun bed, a meal. Tickets for a play, a concert, a show......
2006-11-14 14:11:57 · answer #10 · answered by Honey W 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Can't think of a way to word it without sounding tacky. I would imagine that the majority of the guests are aware of their circumstances and will give money in lieu of gifts.
2006-11-14 14:06:06 · answer #11 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋