Why are most people so disappointed in their relationships?

Question

I know a lot of people who are very unhappy because their raltionships never live up to their expectations. They keep on trying with one partner after another, but are never satisfied. Why do you think this is?

Answer 1

#1 = Unrealistic expectations.

Works like this. I think this person SHOULD _______ (fill in the blank) but they don't - what's the matter with them??? Meanwhile the other person is thinking the same unrealistic thing about YOU.

What is real is what exists, not what we would like it to be, or what we thought it was. I don't mean to sound hard, but the clearer about this anyone is the more it will help.
This leads right into ....

#2 = Confusing infatuation with love ( love involves acceptance; infatuation does not).

Infatuation involves an imagined, perfected image of someone which only ever existed in the mind, nowhere else. Love involves a "real" person and relating to them, understanding and accepting their imperfections and not trying to "fix" them like some broken peice of machinery.

#3 = Cultural B.S.

Relationships are something people do. Like everything else we do, they involve suffering, only somewhat more so than most things. In the US there is a widespread view that happiness is to be found within relationships. This view is just plain nonsense.

I am not anti-relationship, but relationships work best when people have realistic expectations (and as few of those as possible), practice acceptance & kindness (yeah, good old kindness goes a long way) and instead of looking for one's own happiness from the relationship, instead, look for a friend from the relationship & happiness will come from whatever spiritual practice you have.

Great question!

;-)

Answer 2

I have this problem and so do many. The thing is when you dont have someone you can be sp lonley and it seems like your almost waiting for that perfect person.
Then when you get someone they usually wow you in the begining with gifts and meals and dates and all the sweet stuff so you begin to think that everything is perfect its finally coming together.
But then as the relationship goes on the nice things fade and the true person comes out and sometimes its almost a disapointment what your left with. But then who really wants to seperate with someone who youve invested so much time and energy with.

So instead of leaving the person you just put up with it because really the person isn't all that bad its just you fell in love with the person in the begining not whos left.

The idea of Love can be kinda tricky...

Answer 3

Because they are in search of something in there lives that is not completly fullfiling them, some people go throught this and time goes by and they never really address the issue till it is too late. I have never understood that myself why is it that they have so many problems and still try to work it out and if it didn't work out in the begining what makes them think that it will work out now.

Until they themselves really check out what they really want they will never really be happy for themselves or with the person they find either. And that is the truth!

Answer 4

Because most people, in my opinion, don't even know what they want in another person and thus don't know what to look for. They goto bars, meet someone attractive who's a fast talker and start dating or have a one night strand. Once that initial thrill wears off and you're left dating the actual person, not their representative that they met initially, they mostly find out they don't like each other. As far as how to meet someone right for you, I'm 29 and single so I still haven't figured that out but at least I'm much better at spotting the ones that are doomed to fail.

Answer 5

So many time there are people that are in a relationship wishing for more but not knowing exactly what they want to begin with.These people want that special person thats just perfect,someone that will make them complete.The only problem with that is nobody can be that person.YOU have to be happy with YOURSELF in a relationship before your partner can ever make you happy.This is the reason so many people change partners so often.

Answer 6

For one thing, they are obviously not satisfied in themselves. If they aren't sure of themselves and know themselves well and where they are going, they usually look outside for answers. ie..a partner. Obviously if they cannot find happiness in themselves, they won't find anyone else to complete them.

When we meet someone we usually do not see their faults right away and jump right in to a relationship. We tend not to give it a chance to grow and develop slowly, we jump in too fast and then wonder why we get so hurt.

If we took our time to get to know the other person and had our own head screwed on properly we would be far better off.

Answer 7

We sometimes have unrealistic or one-sided expectations without fully understanding the needs of our partner. I don't think partner- hopping is the answer. Find someone who is willing to work on the relationship to where you can both be happy is ideal.

Answer 8

No, divorce should not be banned. that is a marginally stupid theory. Ever when you consider that there have been marriages, there have been divorces...or living circumstances that are a similar as divorces. back even as divorces were a lot extra sturdy to get, there have been lots of husbands and better halves who lived aside. both activities would were happier if that they were waiting to break up. Divorces are already severe priced adequate, i imagine. i have seen siblings go through divorces, and inlaws. Divorces have really adequate obstacles to them. possibly we could continually bypass back to requiring a waiting era earlier marriage, in spite of the actuality that. i don't think of that it is totally unreasonable to require a pair to attend per week or so earlier getting married, except one or yet another is about to be deployed. i imagine that possibly we could continually be making marriage extra sturdy to get into, not get out of. Marriage should not be an impulse interest.

Answer 9

Because they expect too much to begin with, and are not willing to put forth the effort to make a real relationship work. They are often romantics, we are more in love with the idea of love than with making a relationship really last.

Answer 10

I think its has alot to do with the media. We often see relationship situations in movies or tv shows, that seem to be "perfect" and people think that's how it should be in reality, but its usually not that way. So, they are unhappy when their relationship doesnt look like the one they saw on tv.