what can i do if my 7 yr. old son keeps misbehaving in school?

Question

He cant stop getting in trouble for talking and write offs does not seem to be working. and neither do spanking on his bottom.

Answer 1

You need a bargaining chip.

Buy him a gameboy. [or you can use computer time, video game time - what ever he will love] - do not make it a birthday present or anything for an occasion.

Get the teachers email address and give her yours. Ask her at the end of every day to send you a quick ditto on what happened - good and bad. [for the first week or two depending on how bad she sees it - then you can taper it to every few days and then every week]

Then you are prepared! - when you pick him up you know what he did. You can then reward him with video game/gameboy/etc time. Or simply tell him - you didn't listen to your teacher, you were talking to Petie, and your teacher was upset when you stuck your tongue out at her. You can't play the gameboy today because it is a reward and you didn't follow the rules. When he has a great day - I am so proud of you, your teacher was very happy with you today - here [hand him the gameboy] - it is yours to play with from 6-8, or whatever time you decide.

He is 7 - short attention span, needs reward/"punishment" quickly. But 7 is smart enough to follow rules, know good from bad, and remember all day that "if I am good, after school I get my gameboy". You can spank, smack, take stuff away - but that is their stuff and they just might not get it. You're also teaching him that hitting is ok if someone does something bad to him. Wrong wrong wrong - he'll start punching his friends when he is mad then next!

You need to predefine what is going to happen if __________ and what will not happen if _________.

Then on the weekends, he can do chores for gameboy time. Take out the garbage, 15 minutes of gameboy time, etc etc etc.

This will give you a simple tool to help him get in line. If his teacher gets mad enough and feels you aren't interested in what is happening at school, it could lead to suspensions, bad marks and getting to be known as a trouble kid.

Answer 2

spanking him is not going to do a thing to help him control himself. If anything it sends the message, that this is the way to handle situations..makes no sense.

you need to set up an appointment with the school teacher and councillor..see what is really going on. How is he acting out?..What is going on at home? I is there more stress than usual?..he could be finding it hard to cope with and understand. So his way to handle it is to let off steam at school. Are you overly harsh on him?..Do you spank him alot? This could be his way of rebelling against you. Please rethink about using as a form of guidance. What you want to do is help him..guide him..not make him feel worse than he likely already does.
Get him checked by hi Dr. Is he eating healthy foods for breakfast and lunch at least?..You need to look at what is happening in your boy's life right now..(or even before ) help him cope..talk to his teachers and guidance teacher. Don't just threaten please!!!

Answer 3

What are write-offs?

At 7, yeah, spankings probably don't help a lot.

My little boys are 3 and 5, and we've had trouble with the 5-year-old misbehaving in class. I know at that age, two years is a big difference.

In our house, we have "blue apple days", "yellow apple days" and "green apple days". In his class, my oldest has a behavior chart, where green is good, yellow is that he got in trouble a little, blue is that he got some priviledges taken away at school, and red is a parent/teacher conference (and I'm thankful we've never had a red apple day). When we focused on the yellow- or blue-apple days, getting angry with him, grounding him, whatever, he got a lot of blue or yellow apples. Then we started celebrating the green ones, and his behavior (and the number of days he has a green apple) has improved drastically.

On blue-letter days, he can't play video games or watch movies after school. On yellow-apple days, he gets a "talking to" (typical yellow apple offenses are things like talking during naptime... not enough to warrant major punishment in my opinion). On green-apple days, he can pick what we have for dinner, or have a special dessert, or watch a movie. He knows in the morning what the blue-apple-punishment will be, and what the green-apple-reward is. If he has a yellow, he gets neither.

Not to mention, we get a little silly when he gets the green. He typically will run up to me when I pick him up and yell "I'M ON GREEN TODAY!" and do this funny little dance, and I work up the same enthusiasm about it.

He has so much fun getting green apples, it's helped him have fewer yellow or green ones.

All in all, focus on the good days, and be firm and consistant on the bad ones.

Also, talk to his teacher about how much and in what ways he disrupts the class, then talk to his doctor. There are various signs of learning disabilities, and boys seem to have more than girls in general, and you don't have to automatically assume medication is the key. Changing some of his environment may help calm him down to keep him from disrupting class.


Oh, and the guy who said your child will have permanant brain damage if you don't get him medicated for ADHD is talking out his heinie. My son's pediatrician (and his aunt, who is a school psychiatrist) worked with us to make some environmental changes, and they have worked wonders. I have no problem with medications for ADHD, I think they certainly have their place, but first, get him diagnosed (if he needs to be) and second, exhaust every option you can before getting medication. My son's new teacher said that he's gone from showing every sign of ADHD to almost none of them, thanks to some minor changes we've made.

Answer 4

Take a day or two off from your regular schedule and spend them in the school with him. He will be reassured by your presence that he is a prioriy and that you are taking these problems seriously.

This will also give you a chance to see him in his enviornment. A short ten minute visit isn't long enough to get a good picture of his day. Is he eating a good breakfast? Is his misbehavior always in the same setting, i e.. in the cafeteria? in the hall? moving from class to class?

Answer 5

It is my opinion, based on experience with my own son, that your son is probably bored out of his mind! It is unfortunate that the school cannot deal with all children and all their needs. My gosh... Do not spank him. This will only add to his frustration. He needs an IEP and lots of very positive re-enforcement!

Answer 6

Take away his privelages like friends coming over to play or video games maybe that will work.Or talk to him about what is going on and tell him his behavior isnt acceptable to you and maybe he'll straighten up i have a feeling my son is gonna be harded headed in school as well.

Answer 7

give him something to look forward to. If he is good in school then maybe at the end of the week you will take him to the park or he can have a friend over. If he misbehaves then his privlages are taken from him

Answer 8

when my nephew was younger he had the same problem he started getting kicked out of school in first grade his mother and father took him to the dr. and found that he had adhd they put him on medication (no i do not think that is the answer) but sence he is doing good he just lost his mother so at 15 its hard on him but he is doing real good

Answer 9

Surprise visits to him in his classroom! Find out what's really going on at the school before you discipline a child who might be trying to deal with something they can't handle.

Answer 10

You have to have strict ground rules and he is old enough to understand that.It may be hard to but its the right thing to do.You will have to pay alot of attention to him at home because many times they act out in order to get more attention.