Well I just broke up with my girl recently, there wasn't any formal talk or anything it just kind of dissolved and it left me totally depressed and frustrated. Now I met a new girl and theres a mutual attraction, things look good, but there are the inevitable thoughts that arise when you break up whith someone, doubts and insecurities, things about my past relationship that make one feel like a failure. How do you deal with a new relationship after a break up and those feelings of guilt and regret? Should I be starting a new relationship this quick after a breakup.? (please excuse my english if it sounds inadequate, english is not my first language) Anyway I'd appreciate your advise to anyone who takes my question seriously. Thanks.
Manuel
2006-11-14 13:15:05 · 7 answers · asked by mk11232001 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
xoxoss x...you are very right in a way. Things between my ex and me were dissolving a long time ago. I think, yes, there wasn't that intense feeling of love, rather a strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction. We were lovers in that respect and she was the only one I was having sex with. So I had a sense of loyalty to her. We clinged to one another so in that respect is kinda hard to let her go because there were many things left unanswered, I guess thats why I feel depressed, not to mention I've been dealing with depression for a 6+ months and started to recover from it. Now it feels like I'm back on the hole again.
2006-11-14 13:32:47 · update #1
You can't let your past relationships get in the way of your future ones. The last thing you want to do is carry your problems from your last relationship into the next one, as this is not fair for the new girl. You maybe need to explain to the new girl that you just nicely got out of a relationship and that you'd like to TRY having a relationship with her, but that she might have to be patient with your insecurities and such. She has to be understanding. If she's not, then I don't suggest continuing the relationship any further. But you have to put in an effort, too. You have to try and keep concentrated on making the new relationship work and try and forget about the last one.
You can't dwell on the past or it won't ever leave you alone.
Hope that helps.
2006-11-14 13:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-06 03:54:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would leave it for around 4-6 months before starting new relationship with someone. During this time of waiting, of course you could be friends. This time might look too long but it would be better for yourself and the new girl in the long run. It is the time that you stay with yourself , look for what's wrong in the last relationship, find out what you really want from being in relationship. It would be quite fair to the new girl too because you let some time to get over your ex and not just trying to find someone to compensate the lost feelings. Good Luck!
P.S. I'm a girl, but maybe it could be shorter time for guys. Anyway, WAIT!!
2006-11-14 13:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Manuel
it seems to me like you are intelligent and in touch with your emotions
and your gut is telling you that it is okay to meet someone new
and enjoy their company
but yes you should take it slow
you are still healing growing and learning from you previous one
rather than carry these negative emotions into anything new and promising
take it light
date enjoy each others company
but do not rush into a relationship until you work through your emotions!!!
best of luck
2006-11-14 13:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by redseagoddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that u were completly over your ex and really didint love her at all thats y u moved on so fast with another person. or it can be that u where just bored of your ex and simply wanted to try other things before u completly settle down.. no i do not think that u should regreat breaking up with ur ex becasue u broke up with her for a reason and its ok to move on so fast. it will show ur ex that u have moved on and she will move on soon instead of waiting for u or begg u since u have someone new she will get someone new too.. good luck with the new relations ship..
2006-11-14 13:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get over the first girl first and then you will be able to concentrate on the second girl .If you try to erase the other girl too soon you won't be able to concentrate too good. Give yourself some time. The more time you have to get over it the better it will be.
2006-11-14 13:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the other relationship is over then there is no reason to feel any guilt.
2006-11-14 13:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋