MY boyfriends Dad has terminal brain cancer. Neither he or his brother are dealing with it. I have a health care sitter 24 hours a day I am there at least 12. I am glad to help ( i am a registered nurse and dentist) I am the total advocate making calls, getting needed item, bathing etc.. I am doing this for his Dad. Anyone have to do something like this?
2006-11-14 13:00:35 · 5 answers · asked by mary texas 4 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Please respond
2006-11-14 13:16:42 · update #1
I haven't been in that, and I feel for you.
I just want to mention, I don't really understand why, but men seem to "deal with it" much differently than women do, so that if he and his brother aren't dealing with it in a way you understand doesn't mean they aren't at all. I always think of the line from Steel Magnolias, when M'Lynn is talking about when Shelby dies, and that she stayed when the husband and the father couldn't. She says, "They couldn't handle it... Men are supposed to be made out of steel or somethin'."
You're in the situation, and you know your boyfriend and his brother and I don't, but is there a way you can tactfully tell them than their dad is near the end, and there are things they have just GOT to do? I understand the wording, and probably even the suggestion, seems cruel or tactless or impersonal, and I don't mean it that way, but it sounds like they could be in denial (completely understandable and normal) and don't realize (since you're doing it) all the things that need to be done.
That you took the time to get on here to ask the question kind of makes me think that even though you're "glad to do it", it's one of the things you'll do, you don't mind, but you feel like they should be doing some of. It's not like this is an "I keep getting stuck doing laundry when my boyfriend just ignores it" question, where the answer could be "stop doing it". Because of who you are and how much you love your boyfriend and his family, you'll keep doing it, so I can only assume you're really just wanting to get some minor advice and for the most part know that you're not alone out there.
You aren't, I promise.
I wish there were something useful I could say.
2006-11-14 13:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend and his family are in denial, they may need to talk to someone (A third party/therapist) to accept the fact that dad isn't going to be here much longer and how they can help to make his last days easier and make them feel less helpless about it.
Perhaps you could encourage them to help out, by showing them little things they can do, even if its just to sit with him, hold his hand.
2006-11-14 13:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-01 12:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, we do it, not for our boyfriends dad or as a favor to someone. We do it because it's what we should do. You wil get very tired and sometimes cranky, but when you look into his eyes when he is in pain, it won't matter. You wil find strength you never thought existed and when your life changes again, you will feel good about the choices you have made in your life. Good for you!
2006-11-14 13:11:28 · answer #4 · answered by dt_05851 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ay,personally no but I have seen my Mother look after her mother,mother-in-law,and uncle.I really respect that about her and thus cudos to you.Hats off to you-people like you are a dying breed.Good luck and God bless you and your family.peace.Chio!Riz>.
2006-11-14 13:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Shalimaar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋