My mother abused me. Now she can't understand why I'm mean to her. Am I wrong? She hurt me, I'm in therapy now

Answer 1

I'm sorry she abused you. Nothing can make that go away, it is something you have to live with forever.

But in saying that, I also must say that nothing can make that go away, not even being mean to her. If you treat her as she treated you, then aren't you just like her?

I'm honestly not trying to make you hurt even more, you certainly don't need any more pain. Nor am I excusing what she did. One small part of me wants to kick her for it, and I don't even know her!

It is unfortunate that you get the burden of having to love the unlovable. She doesn't deserve your love, she threw away the wonderful love of a daughter she could have had from you with her abuse. But love her you must, not because of who she is, but because of who you are.

Please note the love I speak of is not the gushy feelings this world speaks of when they say love. I'm talking about the description of love that Paul gave in the New Testament. I gave the reference to it below. It will be hard, but your reward is so great, not just in the next life, but this one too.

I wish you well :)

Answer 2

I know how you feel, I too was abused by my mother and her boyfriend and her friends when I was a child, I sat through therapy sessions when I became an adult too. I am now an adult, the best thing you can do is continue on with your therapy, I don't know how old you are and if you are still a minor and living with your mother, but if you are out of the house I suggest you don't see her very often. See her only when you feel like you can handle it. If you are still a minor and living with her, you should ask to live somewhere else where you feel more comfortable, putting some distance between you and her was the best thing for me and my mother. Unfortunately the hurt never goes away, you just learn to handle it without being distructive. But the best advice I can give you is that two wrongs don't make a right don't be subconsciously vengeful its not healthy and non productive. Let what she did fall on her head, if you start mistreating her then you won't be any better than she is, if you can't help being mean to her then just get away from her. I wish you peace of mind, because you can't put a price tag on peace of mind. To thyne own self be true, never forget that, its time to put yourself first. AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE DON'T HURT YOUR OWN KIDS WHEN YOU HAVE THEM. chances are that your mother was abused when she was a child, so stop the cycle with you. HUGGGS!

Answer 3

you may forgive yet now and again inspite of someone in our personal family individuals we could lessen the binds because they don't look reliable for our souls. once you become older you study about your self extra and attempt to stay faraway from persons that damage your spirit. with somewhat of tremendous fortune once you become older you really say to your self it fairly is the way they are and that i do not could be round them or maybe as i'm round them only except the actual actuality they gained't replace. No lie that's a conflict because of resentment that has outfitted up. comprehend you've discovered some thing from the adventure. possibly you'd be a better mom.ascertain's do make blunders. some better than others. they don't continually make reliable possibilities. i replaced into waiting to affix a church and the further I participated in volunteer artwork I felt so much better. Church has replaced lots and counting on which one you attend it can rock. reliable good fortune to you.

Answer 4

It is a shame that ur mother abused u but u
did not specify ur age or what ur abuse was.
If it was physical or mental then the only thing
u can do is get professional help. U still need to
respect ur mother just for the fact she is ur
mother. However u can be serious with her and
do not be mean to her because in a way that is
an abuse towards ur mother. If ur an adult then
its a process that u went thru and should help
u after u get professional help. If u are still a
minor then report it., and u will be given help
automatically.

Answer 5

If you are mean to her, therapy isn't helping you much. As much pain she has caused you, it's better to learn how to forgive. It doesn't mean you have to be completely nice to her, but when you forgive, you let go of the anger and fear. I'm surprised that your therapist hasn't mentioned that your mom should seek counseling as well. But I would continue seeing the therapist, and cutting back on how much you see your mom for now. Good Luck

Answer 6

your not wrong, but you do need to atleast TRY to forgive. thats the only way your going to be able to move on. i wish you the best my father phisically abused me but i forgave him and every chance he gets he explains to me why he did it. not all at one time but now we make it a father/daughter thing. and it really works, along with counseling and therapy. i wish you the best and hope your turnout is successful.

Answer 7

Is ur mother in jail........don't ppl go to jail for abbusing ppl...i don't know. but if she did u are not wrong and she did something horrible to u. But maybe u could just forgive and forget and try to create a relationship with her if she wants one to

Answer 8

You are not wrong at all, in a way she is still in the wrong for even thinking you could ever forgive her.

Answer 9

Talk with her and tell her how you felt and why you are angry. When she starts blaming others for her abuse that is when you tell her that she needs help and don't talk to her till she is ready to apologize. You don't want someone like that around your future children.

Answer 10

it was wrong 4 her to hurt u!ssit down andtalk