Both sides of parents are strictly against alcohol, but we want to have a big PARTY with our guests? How?

Question

My fiance's parents and mine are strictly against alcohol, but we are both drinkers, as well as ALL of our friends....We want to be able to please both our parents and our partying friends who are wanting to drink at the reception (us too!!!)

Answer 1

Okay, first of all...who is footing the bill for this reception? If it's the parents, you should abide by their wishes. Also, because they are non drinkers does that mean the do not wish to even see the sight of someone else consuming alcohol? Perhaps you could have a small reception immediately following the wedding (the ol' church basement thing) and a larger party later in the evening?

Answer 2

Another solution is to have the first part of the party non-alcoholic, so the parents and church friends can attend, and not have to watch the drunken behavior. Set a time, and tell people the serving of alcohol will begin at a certain time. the non-drinkers may stay, or leave, as they choose. This should be on the invitation, so people will know.
Also, it depends on who is paying for the party. If the parents are, and they do not want the booze, they are the hosts, and they can serve, or not serve, whatever they want. You are guests at the wedding reception. When you order the invites, check the wording.
Here is the idea, abbreviated a bit: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Sally, to Mr. Sam Doe. Reception to follow. The reception card would say: Reception is at the Big Hall, beginning at 7pm. Bar will open at 9pm.
If you are paying, you can do what you want, but I would find a way to please the parents, and the guests, too.
You would of course hold the toasts until there was booze available, but go ahead and cut the cake, so everyone can see.
Another idea is to have the drinks even later, or even have a separate party for the drinking part of the evening, at that venue, or another, your choice.

Answer 3

If either set of parents are contributing financially to the wedding, none of their money may be used to purchase alcohol, and they have the right to withdraw their financial support entirely if they wish.

Otherwise, it's YOUR wedding and you may do as you wish. It would be polite, however, to address your parent's concerns. Arrange for designated drivers (or taxis or hotel rooms) ahead of time; offer to limit the amount of alcohol at each table to a certain number of bottles so that people can feel "festive" without getting belligerantly or sloppy drunk (very inappropriate behavior for a wedding reception). If you have a bar, settle for having guests pay for their "extra" drinks instead of having an open bar, to discourage guests for over-indulging.

Also, most weddings I've been to feature an after-party for the younger crowd at a local bar or private home after the reception. Why not limit the alcohol at the reception and indulge at the after-party?

Answer 4

I would respect the parents (especially if they are helping pay for the reception). You could make the first part of the reception alcohol-free and then open up the bar later, that way the parents can leave and not feel rude or feel like they weren't wanted at your reception.

Answer 5

that's a tough one...it seems like some-one is going to be unhappy with the reception....do you want the unhappy ones to be you and your fiance and all the guests...or the parents?....the only thing i can think of is to not serve alcohol for the first hour or two of the reception so that your parents will get to spend time there, but they can leave if they choose to after the alcohol starts flowing

Answer 6

If you are of drinking age, then it should be alright if you are paying for the recepxtion. Have a talk with the parents and explain that because this is your big day that you would like to be able to make your guests comfortable and this would include alcohol. Try though to not have a kegger, be a little respectful of the parents. They might be more ok with it, if your guests aren't falling over or getting sick.

Answer 7

Obviously you're going to have to pay for anything your parents aren't willing to support, but in the end it is your wedding and it's ultimately up to you what sort of event to have.

One thing I have seen done (and not just on the Gilmore Girls) is a two-stage party: first a quiet reception--maybe have your first dance, dance with the parents, etc, then move to dinner. This can be low-key and alcohol free. Then later move into the party phase with the open bar, which people can attend if they choose to.

Answer 8

Maybe mixed drinks. Something a little more fun then just straight up beer bottles. Or maybe something classy like wine. Provide nonalcoholic beverages of course for all of the non-drinkers, but since your parents are coming I'm assuming your not going to have an all out crazy party! Just make sure your friends are aware of both parents feelings and ask them to maybe keep it a little more controlled. I think it will be great! Sara.

Answer 9

There are many young people more aware of non alcoholic drinks, and many more weddings in our area that are only serving non alcoholic drinks. Considering that alcohol is an addictive substance that is often abused. You can make the decision since it is your Party to please your Parents on both sides, and your guests will no doubt agree with your decision. However the decision is yours to make since you are the Party givers, and you can annuounce it on your invitations.

Answer 10

Ouch! That's a tricky one.

If you don't want to have two parties as was suggested, you're most likely going to have to pay for the bar yourself. Obviously, there will be coffee/tea as well as sodas available to your guests at the reception. Explain to your parents that it's the choice of your guests whether or not they want to drink. They can choose not to, as other beverage options are available, however, for those that choose to indulge, the option is there.